Reception and homework, very upset ds

[rebl]

I posted the other day about reading words that are being sent home. My poor ds is in bed crying his eyes out over these words. Yesterday he just didn't "get it" with his words. 3 words were sent home yesterday. Today he's been sent home with those 3 words and 2 more. He got them out himself to do but started crying straight away saying it was too hard. So I said it didn't matter, we would do them tomorrow as he was tired and he cried even more saying he was meant to learn the words . The poor boy can't even retain what the 5 words are let alone read them. He's been crying on and off all evening about these words . Crying about school being so hard . He's in bed crying now and refusing to sleep saying he needs to learn his words. We've tried getting them back out but he then just cries that he can't read them. The poor boy is just 4 and he's deaf. This isn't a good start. I don't understand why they're piling the pressure on so soon, he's only done 4 half days and we're at this already.

desertgirl An API is action plan for inclusion.

toyonambu I would have thought they have experience of inclusion but they have told us they've never had a HI child. I realise that the noise levels are going to be difficult to fix but some simple things could be done. They do have a small room off the main class room which currently is used for storing the art things in, all the coat hooks are there etc.

If they don't think that they can solve the noise issues then it will clearly be an inappropriate school for my ds and I guess at that point we'll have no choice but to consider other options. Surely though the 1st thing to do would be to try and educate the staff and help them understand his difficulties and then support him with things like pre-lesson tutoring, 1-1 ta support for group work and reading activities etc. He's got no support at the moment and on top of being deaf he's not fully toilet trained due to medical problems, has medical problems and dietary issues that haven't been well supported even in his API. Maybe this is all pointing to the school not being the right place for him but we really wanted him to go where his twin sister was and in the village where we are part of the community. We felt it was important for him to part of the school which plays such a large part in the local community. The HT certainly has made very inclusive noises all along.

I agree that all reception classes tend to be noisy, but some teachers definitely run noisier classes than others! They don't have to be noisy constantly, and I would have thought that as the children become used to the routine and the teacher's way of doing things, the intention would be that they become less noisy?

Also, I would have thought that the teacher should be paying attention to the ambient surroundings e.g. proximity of your DS to things like recorder classes, his experience of break time, planning quieter areas of the school. I think there is an awful lot they can do before you decide that another school would be best, and I also think that this kind of planning and forethought would improve all children's experience of the school.

I think sometimes children with SN can be the canary showing up weak spots before others notice.

You say your DD wouldn't cope with moving schools but - if I have read your posts correctly - she is your DS's twin? And therefore has just started Reception herself? Is there a reason you think she wouldn't cope with a change which probably is unlikely to disadvantage her too much after just a week at this school and is likely, on the other hand, to advantage your DS hugely?

who produces the API - if the school is not complying with it presumably not the school? can whoever is responsible for it get involved?

desertgirl Don't laugh, the SENCO and HT and the reception teacher is the SENCO! So she's not even prepared to go along with a document she wrote! Honestly, its a complete farse. She seems to have seen the API as a paper exercise and no more.

sleepingLion DD, like ds, is with all her friends from the village and preschool. This is whats so silly so to speak, ds knows everyone who he's started school with and they all know him. All the others, including dd have settled so easily because they've had little change in moving from preschool to school, just the physical location and teacher really. DD is a very sensitive little girl who would struggle in a large setting. She wouldn't make friends easily. Plus, we would prefer to try and make the local village school work for ds and us. We need to give it a proper shot and exhaust all options.

One thing we intend to do is for instance keep ds on half days for longer. But obviously we need the school to agree. Its things like that, that could make the difference to him. We want him to be happy, we barely know the school and we can't just write them off straight away. We feel that we have to try and make this work 1st. If that means more time on half days whilst they get more support in then so be it. But if they're not even open to these suggestions that we will make tomorrow then we're obviously on to a loser.

The more I write on this thread so consolidating all the things that have happened in one place the more I'm seeing what a complete joke the whole inclusion planning has been.

It does seem they've just jumped through hoops for the sake of it, and now it's coming back to bite them (& you). They need to reread what they themselves have written and stick to it.

Get lots of notes ready for tomorrow, the clearer you can be about what is needed the better - and hopefully you can stay calm, i'm sure i would end up crying.

Maybe even print out copies for them of bullet points that need addressing/things you expect of the school/teacher/etc.

JustKeepSwimming We have just spent 2hrs doing exactly that.

We have 5 bullet points of things that we think need addressing.

We've also included an explanation on how ds communicates / copes in noisy environments; a statement from ds (the conversation I put in this thread); our response to ds's statement (basically saying that we realise its going to be impossible to make it right for ds but it can be improved and we will lend them NDCS publications); warning signs that ds isn't coping and how we're working on helping him cope.

I really hope they listen to us. So nervous. Thank you all so much for your support this weekend. Its been a hard weekend for me and our family.

good luck (again) rebl, please come back and post what happens? It sounds absolutely unbelievable; my DS starts school tomorrow, and I can't imagine how on earth I would cope with school upsetting him like that (he isn't deaf, but in general....)

There are very few children who will perform at their best in a classroom that is too noisy for them to hear the reading of a story. It couldn't be just your child who is having problems.

My DCs had the awesome luck to attend primary school in the US where nobody got any homework until age 6, and nobody was expected to deal with sight words until then either, and they all came out fine, much better than fine, in fact. I think age 4 is way too early to tackle spellings, and way too young to be assigned homework. Sorry you are up against something that makes no pedagogical sense here on top of the SN thing.

rebl, can I ask a few questions, which I hope aren't too intrusive, but will help?

1. What level of SEN intervention was your DS on at preschool/nursery - Early Years Action, Early Years Action Plus, none?

2. How long have you known he has a HI?

3. Do you use a signing system at home? BSL or Makaton?

4. Did you consider applying for a Statutory Assessment, and if not why?

The difficulty you are coming across is that anything such as an API, IPA, IPF, whatever, essentially is a paper excercise.

The only thing that actually holds water when it comes down to it is a Statement of Educational Needs, which follows the Statutory Assessment process.

If your DS had a Statement of Educational Needs, at least half of your problems would be over, because you would have a LEGAL DOCUMENT that states your DS's requirements, and the intervention that MUST be provided. It can still be a battle ensuring that this provision is timely and done well, but you don't get arguments that it shouldn't be done.

Do feel free to pop over to the Special Needs: Children section if you want info about the SA process - and please forgive me if I am teaching a granny to suck eggs

Oh Rebi, how awful for you and your little boy. I've had three children go through reception, one with special needs, and this is awful. You do, I'm afraid, need to get tough and risk being upopular and scary and assertive, for your son's sake. This behaviour is intolerable. You need to get iron clad, tough and rhino-hided. Get in there and make it absolutely clear what your boy needs and what is wrong. Fuck the stupid homework, and frankly, fuck the teacher, he has particular needs and the school, by law, should meet them. Good luck with your meeting. Go armed with a list of demands. You might not be the most popular parent on the block, but this isn't a popularity contest, this is your son's happiness and learning at stake. Good luck.

Huge sympathy for you, have no direct experience of Hearing issues in children but do have experience of awful reception teachers.
Our local reception teacher is one, she doesn't cope well with the children that she has without hearing problems, I can honestly say that there is NO WAY she could deal with someone with any actual extra needs.

She too talks openly to parents at pickup about issues that have arisen during the day and it is wholy unprofessional. For some reason confidentiality doesn't seem to cross her mind.

I wish you well with the school and getting things sorted for your son. If it helps at all my son is now in year 2 and I have never made homework compulsory they are really little and in reception DS1 got a letter a week to learn and even that we did if the wind was blowing in the right direction and if it wasn't working we just stopped.

You know your child, you will know if it is too much pressure.

Good luck for Monday. Will be thinking about you.

I am so shocked that any child, anywhere, is getting homework in Reception. Clearly it's not that unusual - am truly surprised by this.

Has the school said that they will install some form of AV to help your son? Is there a timescale in place for this to happen?

I'll be perfectly honest and say that unless they have signed up to this, I would strongly consider pulling him out. I always seem to be saying this on Mumsnet... easy for me to say... but how on earth is this experience helping him? If the classroom is not appropriately equipped for him, how can he possibly learn anything, except that the world is a hostile place?

So sorry to hear you and your DS are going through this. Good luck tomorrow.

Good luck for today Rebl :)

Good points about Statements, I should have thought of that.

Also have a DS1 just started Reception, no homework, yet, though they will bring a book home for a week for us to go through together from today i think, DS1 can't read so that could be 'interesting'!
I know i would absolutely gutted if he was as upset about school as yours has been :(

And my DS2 is due to start the SA process as he's SN, aiming for Special (pre-)School next April.

Fingers crossed things can be sorted.

Thank you all so much. We had the meeting this morning. Head of sensory imparement service was exceptionally late! But it was a very positive meeting. We provided the school with a sheet on ds, how he copes / communicates; what ds sees are the problems; how we think he can be helped. They have agreed to staying on half days for longer but would like to have him full time by Christmas.

They are going to provide me with all the phonic and word learning objectives this afternoon and are going to provide the topic objectives by the end of the week. They have appointed ds a keyworker who is attached to the school but isn't LEA or NHS, I'm not really sure who she employed by actually! She didn't come to the meeting but I've been asked to call her to discuss ds's and all his needs and the specific problems we're facing with him at the moment. So settling, behaviour and sleeping and so she can take up these issues and work to get them resolved. They thanked us for the NDCS resources that we gave them and in particular the teaching phonics to deaf children book.

I pointed out that we need good communication with the school and they acknowledged that and are going to do a home/school diary like stated in his Action plan for inclusion. I pointed this out after the teacher told me ds had trashed the classroom on Friday morning (1st I heard of it). I asked if anything odd had happened earlier in the week and she said on Thursday he was headbanging the wall. I said that I should have been told because how she described it immediatly it set alarm bells ringing to me that he was suffering from sensory overload. I said that if I had been informed I could help them and maybe they could have avoided the classroom destruction on Friday. Anyway, she's going to review classroom management to try and reduce the noise levels and the sensory issues for ds, so thats positive.

So all in all, I think a very positive meeting. Lets just hope that they do it all now. Mind you, they've seen what he can be like if things aren't working for him now so they've got an incentive!

Rebl - glad it went well and there seems to be hope, like you say maybe him trashing the room may keep them focused!

I hope he cheers up and starts to enjoy school, it is meant to be fun after all.

And stay firm about half days for as long as you feel he needs them, don't let the school pressure you at all.

Lougle In answer to your questions:
He's on school action. He was getting regular IEP's with a view to appling for a statement but then we got this new ToD who decided for whatever reason these were no longer required and he no longer needed the support he was currently receiving. The school are dissappointed because they said we have to start from scratch with building up evidence that he needs additional support.

He was dx at 4 wks old as being deaf, this hasn't just been sprung on anyone!!

Yes, we support verbal communication at home with BSL. He doesn't sign but understands it all and responds well to signing. His twin sister signs to him so they will have seen it in the classroom.

Can I apply for a statement? I thought it had to come through the school? Although, from what the ht said today about needing to build up evidence maybe they're already thinking it.

Rebl - this site has been recommended, we haven't started the process yet so can't really help much more than that.

DS2's Portage worker is the person i ask about all this stuff and she will help me with it, did your DS have portage?

You can request an assessment yourself by the LEA. Try contacting your local parent partnership for further help (I'm not great on that side of things).

I a so sad your little boy has had such a bad start to school. Do continue to fight for him. Good luck.

"His twin sister signs to him so they will have seen it in the classroom."

Don't let yourself get backed into a position where his sister is used as a translator, though. Very bad for both of them.

rebl that is very helpful.

The school are right that from their perspective they need to build evidence that your DS requires support above and beyond their usual strategies for children with SN.

However, they haven't told you the full story.

1. You, as your DS's parent, are entitled to ask the LA for a Statutory Assessment.

2. The school will be required to show that they are using all the resources available to them to meet your DS's needs and that these alone cannot meet those needs.

3. All you have to be able to do is to show the LA that your DS has significant educational needs which arise out of his hearing loss, and that without the support of the LA (ie. a Statement of Special Educational Need) his education will suffer.

The SEN Code of Practice gives a very useful guide to Sensory Impairment and statementing, in which it outlines situations where a school would need to meet the needs, and situations when a Statement would be required.

Your part in this is to document everything. Your DS should automatically be on School Action Plus now, because the school are requiring the support of outside agencies to meet his needs.

lougle Thank you very much. They were adament that school action plus is for statemented children only, hence being on school action. We'll definatly look at maybe asking the LA for a statutory assessment. I think we'll give him a bit more time 1st. They are definatly struggling with him and I would rather they instigate the statementing process than me force it. I will be on top of this though. I've bought my own academic diary and I'm keeping my own diary of what ds says, words being sent home, what hrs he does, wetting / soiling, behaviour being reported to me etc.