Fight and the fallout

[MyNeatRaven]

Ok first post- need some advice. Son had a fallout with his friend who lives next door. He lost his temper and was shouting, the boy got in his face and he shoved him away- the boy started throwing punches. After a few hits my son retaliated- he said he didn’t want to hurt his friend. Just for info he is AuDHD and had a sense of justice/argument streak- but that not an excuse. Of course he was punished for losing it/shouting etc. we tried to apologise but they didn’t want to hear it that day.
throughout his week grounding he reflected and realised he was wrong and in his words needs to work hard to repair his friendship. He’s a sensitive soul.

here is where is gets tricky- the parents next door have said their sons are not allowed to play with mine. I’ve explained there isn’t much we can do about that as it’s their rule- but the middle son is telling everyone at school not to play with my son as his parents said he’s horrible etc.

hubby and I have different views: I have been saying just tell people the truth (yes I lost my temper, he hit first and I’ve tried to apologise) and if they don’t want to play fair enough- but hubby wants to ask them to stop with the singling out etc.

wwyd?

Is the middle son a different boy from the one who had a fight with your son?

As the verbal campaign against your son is happening in school I would report to the school what is happening. In my experience it never ended well when I complained directly to other parents about their child.

Definitely tell the school and let them support him. As a teacher, I saw this a lot. Children would go round saying “my mum says I can’t play with you” and so often it was the perpetrator saying that about the poor kid they had been picking on! Parents can make a difficult situation so much worse.
And talk to your son about giving the other child space. They may well come round at some point. Hopefully with the support of the teachers he will have other children to hang out with to take his mind off this.

Yes different brothers- the one saying all this we have had issues with before (being unkind, stealing etc and isn’t the nicest boy). I’ll follow my gut and let it be!