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Preteens

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Should I discourage my daughter's friendship over safety concerns at their home?

3 replies

KookyMama · 14/09/2026 01:34

First time Poster
DD(9) has a school friend (9yo) she’s been friends with for nearly 4 years now. This friend has always been kind of an oddball, but as a weirdo myself, I’ve never had an issue with it. Friend’s mum says this girl has a ‘learning disability’ but I’ve heard no more details, so again, I’ve not thought much about her not being able to read, spell or understand many social interactions, plus her introverted behaviour when she’s upset (we all handle our emotions differently). DH has been saying for a long time he wants this friendship to be over, I’ve been saying that none of that is a reason to ‘ditch’ a friend.

But as they get closer and I have more to do with the family, I have a few concerns about the way they operate, now that we’ve had our first play date there I don’t really want DD going back to their house. How much junk they feed their kids is not my business, but there’s 3 kids under 4 living there plus a 2yo close family member there yesterday (we visited for friend’s birthday) and my biggest concern yesterday was probably the ‘snake playtime’ which involved the toddlers having a children’s python draped over their shoulders to interact with. The 3yo has autism and while he likes the snake and does his best to be gentle, I was pretty alarmed when he wandered off to show someone else and in order to steady itself, the snake double looped itself around his neck. He was encouraged to walk back to the person who’d put the snake around his shoulders but the lack of concern from multiple adults freaked me out. I don’t want my 9yo there if this is the level of concern for safety.

Is it wrong to try and discourage this friendship? There’s been other issues between the girls and I think this might be the cherry on top. I want my kid away from this family.

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 14/09/2026 01:51

Your insticts know best.

Franjipanl8r · 14/09/2026 02:01

You need to let your 9yo figure out who she wants to be friends with and why and guide her through it, she needs to learn herself, regardless of whether she goes to play dates or not.

Theresawaytobehonestandkind · 14/09/2026 02:26

I grew up on turkey dinosaurs and chicken dippers and used to ride horses with my friends with no saddle and bridle at four and climb trees. I was just fine. You seem quite snooty and judgemental. Calling a nine year old a weirdo and almost mocking a learning disability as though her medical records need to be fully disclosed to you shows that you as an adult needs to check yourself.

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