What consequences for 11 year who catapulted rock at window, causing £420 of damage? efupui

[Bloodyredface]

Yup, can't believe it myself.

He's actually a really good kid and he was utterly beside himself when he did it. I have never seen him like he was when he did this, he was physically shaking and crying and very, very upset and worried.

He wasn't aiming at the window ( in our house btw) but the grass in front of it. However, he's 11, he has plenty of projectile instruments and has been repeatedly given rules on playing with these, and the window he hit is large and set low in the wall, so firing in its direction was not smart. I didn't realise he had got the catapault out ( forgot he had it, he's not used it for years).

My goal when he did it was to calm him down and get this in perspective as he was utterly catastrophising and really distressed.

But I still think this needs some sort of consequence, and quite a meaningful one. He is 11 and he really does need to know better. I do want to make sure he learns from this, rather than forgetting the lesson as he ' got away with it.'

Any ideas? I was thinking of having to do some serious chores around the house for quite a length of time. He hates doing housework.

He doesn't use them for that and is very caring and respectful towards animals. There are people who have these hobbies who never fire at living things, you know.

Another vote for no punishment, but definitely consequences.

It was a careless mistake, and it sounds like he’s learnt his lesson about it - but he does also
need to learn you can’t just make mistakes, feel sorry and then everything is fine. There are consequences to your actions.

I think working of the debt is a good idea, or direct consequences of you having to find more money (eg not getting a toy , or less money to spend on hobbies etc etc)

Thanks for this!

Thanks everyone, I have to get ready to go out now, but you have given me lots to think over.

I wouldn't be letting an 11 year old loose with a catapult. If it can smash a window it can smash somebody's head. Get rid of them and set your son some tasks around the house

What about him being present when the window is being fixed so he can see how it is fixed he's 11 so should be able to sit quietly and watch

You’ve got proof of that, have you?

I don't understand why he's got "projectiles" of any description as an 11 year old. Its not an entire surprise that there's been an accident. The only plus point being that no person or animal was hurt.

Give him chores sure, but it's a lesson learned for you all.

Get rid of the catapult and similar things and thank god it was only a window that got broken and no person or animal got hit by the rock. He is a child and you are allowing him to have weapons that require maturity and judgement to use safely as “sport”. He is a child.

Projectile instruments should be limited to nerf guns and other soft ammunition firing toys. Catapults can be as dangerous as guns or bows and arrows, which should only be used under proper professional supervision, as in archery classes or gun clubs. I have never come across a catapult club, so bin it. You could give him some way of partly working off the cost, but I think the mistake is yours for having such a thing in the house.
I never allowed my sons to have such weapons.
Mind you, my parents grew up in the 1920s and 30s and were full of tales of children maimed and blinded by sticks and stones, we weren't even allowed to flick wet teatowels at our annoying siblings, as they both knew people who had been blinded by such activities, so maybe I am over cautious🤔

Chores around d the house. You also need to remove these kind of toys. Anything that could do this kind of damage isn't safe. Why does he need to be catapulting rocks anywhere in any case?

If there is a genuine understanding I would feel no need to actually punish

This is the best answer so far IMO.
The natural consequence is that he can't play with the toys for a while and he needs to show he understands and will follow the rules.

I think household chores are a separate issue and shouldn't be imposed as a punishment; as PPs said he should be doing (age-appropriate) chores anyway.

I’d get him to clean the inside of the windows monthly until the end of the year. Those karcher window vacuums are really good so you shouldn’t end up with streaks.

I'd make him pay for it himself. Get him to do jobs around the house for a set amount per hour until it's paid off. This will help him understand that actions have consequences and that it takes a lot of work to earn that amount of money if you don't work hard at school!

Well hopefully he's learned not to do it again.

Why give him chores as a punishment? Especially when adding a cost to them to repay the window debt? It's pointless unless he's paid to do chores anyway?

And in our house, chores, reading, food and being sent to bedrooms were never used as punishment and never paid to do chores.

Chores should be done as standard because that's real life for everyone. Maybe pay for exceptional ones that aren't done everyday.

He's upset, he knows he has done wrong and I'm assuming he has apologised? What are you hoping extra punishment will achieve?

To practice aim? Because it's fun? My son uses his on tin cans and his Nerf target.

You really believe, hand on heart, that people who have hobbies, such as shouting, archery or use catapults, all practice by firing at animals?

FGS, do not use normal chores as a punishment. Having to do chores is a basic part of life, he should be doing them already, and turning them into a punishment is a terrible idea.

A tale as old as time. I doubt he needs additional punishment, he'll be torturing himself enough as it is.

Well, yes.

I’d make a claim

Personally I would tell DD the cost and ask her what she thought was a suitable consequence, I find her to be firm but fair to herself and her consequences are fitting to the 'crime'.

Absolutely this. It is really unhelpful to make routine domestic tasks a 'punishment'.

I agree with packing away the projectiles for at least a month and then only allow them back with greater supervision.

Imagine if he'd hit a person

I don't understand why an 11yo has access to something so dangerous with no supervision. The parents are at least half to blame for the broken window.