Please tell me about your 12 year old’s bedtime routine

[parrotonmyshoulder]

My highly anxious 12 year old is having trouble sleeping. Always been a bit of a problem, but worse at present. He worries so much about not being asleep/ not getting enough sleep and he can’t relax.

I know that part of the solution is to improve his bedtime routine. What do your 12 year olds do? Honest answers only! I’ll start (God, I was so ‘good’ at this when they were little, but it slipped badly for many reasons).

Home from school 5:15 - has usually done homework there or is avoiding it till the weekend.
Snack, change clothes, gaming for an hour or so, lots of opportunity for chat but doesn’t want to (until it’s bedtime)
Walk the dog or play football for a bit or help with dinner or, if dad home, play a game (switch) together
Dinner about 7.30.
Watch TV together - something everyone likes. He rarely joins in with this because…
Switch or iPad. Has to stop at 8.45.
Teeth, bed with audible story on.
2-3 hours of ‘I can’t sleep’, on and off shouting, sometimes crying, aches and pains.
Up at 6.30 for school.

Highly reluctant reader. Adults in the house also need a bit of time in the evening. All up at 6.30 so need earlyish nights.

Anything obvious? I am pretty sure it’s removal of screens (only started this year - never touched one before!) but I don’t know what to replace it with. He is too tired or miserable to play a board game or similar (I probably am too at that time so day).

Q124 she does taekwondo once a weekday (and once at the weekend), that's 6-7. she's home by 7.10. No way could she manage an 8 pm finish, she'd be dead on her feet. 9.45 is wild to us!

That's great that it works for you. It just wouldn't work for us. DS is 14 but has been at Scouts with a 9.45pm finish since he was 10. Being in bed at 7pm as a pre teen / teen for us would mean missing out on so much of life, clubs and social activities. Maybe as your DD gets older she'll be able to handle a later bedtime.

Q124 totally agree that this may change as she gets older. Is it typical for lots of classes and activities to run late at night in the uk? I'm overseas so am out of touch with what is the norm there.

For those whose kids are still up at 930-10....how do you manage your need for your own space and time? Or do we just accept that it's no longer?

It's normal here for them to go on until these times. Not sure I'd call them late at night but obviously would be to you.
DS is either at a club or in his room chatting to friends a lot in the evenings so we still get our own space and time.

An activity that finishes at 945, meaning home by 10, definitely counts as a late night to me 🤪 maybe I'm being too Amish 🤪

I just find it strange that as a society we talk so much more about the value of sleep, it's something we prioritize as adults and yet children stay up so late.

maybe it's just my circle that are in bed early in general 👵🏼🤪

Honestly, 945pm activities are not normal for Primary school uniform in most of the UK either. 9pm maybe!

My 11yo has fallen asleep in the car on the way home from activities at 8.30. (90mins of rugby is exhausting!)

I've 5 kids at home. Including a 12 year old.
Usually home from school at 4.30.
She gets changed and ready for gym, a snacks /meal about 5 & homework

Out the house at 6 for gym. Gym finishes at 8. Back home by 8.15ish. Then quick snacks meal again, shower & bed. Usually asleep by 10.
Snacks and meals are dense slow release proteins
We don't allow sugary snacks at night.

Is he doing any regular exercise 🤔
Is his leg aches growing pains?