My DD age 12 has started to get into trouble at school since starting secondary.
Its classed as low level disruption but its becoming more and more frequent, i am being contacted by the school on a weekly if not sometimes daily basis. The school aren't overly concerned, the problem is being cheeky to teachers and getting into scrapes with her friends but I really am now getting to the point that i feel its escalating .
She is the youngest of 4 and the youngest in our wider family with lots if cousins etc and has always been a little bit lively and cheeky, i think to keep in with all the older ones as we are very close so do a lot together. I have to say that we have always taken it with good humour as she was entertaining when she was little and as shes got older she would be pulled up if she was being a bit too cheeky but she could always smile it away.
Her older siblings are popular (one has now left onto college) and well known in the school (I've never had a detention between the three of them) so i wonder if shes gone in overly confident a bit too big for her boots. Not knowing her place in the pecking order.
She attracts drama, there is always something going on every day, she is falling out with someone etc. But she is alway very upset with what the other person has said or done but can't seem to acknowledge the part she has played.
The school have been good but last week alone i had 2 emails home and she had 3 detentions.
We are at a bit of a loss of what to do as we feel we are at a crucial point to try and get it under control.
She cannot see that she is doing anything wrong, we have sat her down and talked to her, we have given her consequences etc but it is always someone else's fault or she just claims she didn't do what they have said she has done. If we end up frustrated and cross she is so upset and sobs. We have been told that the new group of friends she is mixing with are not a positive mix as they bring out the worst in each other. So she isn't allowed out with them out of school.
We are now on Easter hols and already this weekend she was allowed her phone for a short period and it all kicked off. She isnt allowed the sm apps but she went on someone elses phone and logged in and got caught up in a really nasty exchange with 'a friend'.
Its horrible as we cannot trust her to do as shes asked or told.
We are now seriously thinking of moving her school but are we just moving the problem along....any suggestions of work shops, parenting techniques or counselling that could help divert her in a different direction would be really helpful.