Bedtime for an 11 year old

[Choccyaddict4eva]

Hi, just wanted to find out what time parents of 11/11 and a half year olds send their children to bed? I try and aim for 9/9:30...DS1 says this is too early and why can’t he go to bed at 10pm 🙄 apparently dad lets him go to bed at 10pm when he stays over. I know lots of his friends go to bed at that time (sometimes later) and I personally think this is too late. Also some mornings I wake him and his brother up at 6am if I start work early so we can leave the house on time. DS1 has always been a heavy sleeper and struggled to wake up if he’s tired! 10pm seems a bit late to me.

If he's struggling to wake up his bedtime is already too late.

Dd is a few weeks off 11. Gets into bed at 8.30 and reads, lights out at 9 up at 6.30

Well it depends on what time they get up, doesn't it? DD is only 10.5 but is usually awake until 10.30pm/11.00pm.

She doesn't wake until 8am though.

If she had to get up at 6am I assume she'd become able to sleep earlier at night... although to be fair she's always been a crap sleeper so who knows!

11 year old ds usually asleep about 11pm and always up by 7am. Have never had to wake him. Just doesnt need much sleep

We aim for 9.15 ish but ends up being more like 9.45/10pm because he faffs around for ages

Try and get mine settled for 9/9.30 but rarely asleep before 10. Hard to get up for 7 in the morning but just can’t fall asleep any earlier

My 11 year old goes to bed at 9:30 Monday to Thursday and is up qt 6:30/7. He goes to bed at 9 on a Friday cos he has to be up for swimming at 5am on Saturday. Saturday he goes to bed when he wants as Sunday is the only day he doesnt have to do anything.

Depends on the child really but I agree 10pm seems too late. DD1 will be 12 in the summer and she and her 9 year old sister both go to be around 8.15/8.30. DD1 often reads until 9ish but no later. Up at 6.45am.

Hmmm, okay, thanks for all your replies. So I’m not the most unreasonable mother in the world then as according to my son 😂

@Bananarama3star

We aim for 9.15 ish but ends up being more like 9.45/10pm because he faffs around for ages

@Bananarama3star I also have one here that loves to faff about!!! 😤 feel your pain ha

My 11 year old is fab, asleep by 10 but gets up no problem in the morning and is great but my almost 10 year old doesn’t settle at night and refuses to get up in the morning - he has asd so on melatonin so least older boy settles as his brother can be wandering about half the night sometimes

My 11yo goes up at 8.30, lights off at 9/9.30. I think this is a bit earlier than most of his friends though.

Mine faffs about and generally goes to sleep about 10 but has already looked up the recommended amount of sleep for an 11 year old and says she is getting enough!

We're really early in comparison! In bed by about 8.15 and lights out at 8.30pm. I thought that was generous...

We are closer to 12 than 11 (Y7).
Upstairs at 9. Lights out 9.30.
Usually awake by 6.30. Needs to be up st 7am during the week.
Many of his friends go to bed later - and openly admit they struggle to get up in the morning.

Your son has an early start, and if you are struggling to wake him, he needs more sleep.

Also. Assuming that you let him stay up a little latter according to age, if you let him stay up until 10pm on a school night now, what time are you aiming for at 13?

@Bananarama3star

We aim for 9.15 ish but ends up being more like 9.45/10pm because he faffs around for ages

Exactly this!! I've started saying 9pm and that gets her in for around 9.15. If she's as late as 10 into bed, she doesn't sleep till 10.30 and is tired and grumpy and has a headache the next day.

Nearly 12 DC goes to their room at 8ish, in bed and settled for about half past. Gets up 6.30 - 7am.

11 year old here ( 12 soon ) 10pm weekdays. 10.30pm weekends. Tend to do 9.30pm on Sunday's to catch up!

Moans a lot as her friends have 'much later' but it works and she gets up fine.

My 11 and 13yo go to bed at the same time ish. Usually around 10. If 13 yo hadn’t gone by 10.30 I would say something! But they’re both good at knowing when they’re tired. The 11yo is great in the mornings and gets up for a shower before I’m up. Year 6. The 13yo year 8 is terrible in the mornings 😂

Y6 11 ywar old and 10pm

Yr6, 11 and a half year old DS, goes to bed about 9.15pm on a weekday, but fannies about for ages so more than likely gets to sleep between about 10-11pm

On a weekend it's nearer 10pm, depending on what we're doing.

No you're not the words meanest mum! 🤣

Depends on the child, but up to bed at 8:30 lights off at 9, asleep by half past. Any faffing/whinging then fair warning is given & if it continues, bedtime is earlier the next night...

Friends DS is allowed to do as he pleases and is usually still pissing about when they go to bed at 11:30/12. He's good in the mornings but always too 'tired' after school & sleeps half the weekend.

DD is 11 and I think 9.30 is fine for a 6 am wake up. We don't have set bedtimes though it just depends on what's happening the next day so anytime between 9.30 and 11.30 (or whenever they drop on special occasions)

@AlmostSummer21

No you're not the words meanest mum! 🤣

Depends on the child, but up to bed at 8:30 lights off at 9, asleep by half past. Any faffing/whinging then fair warning is given & if it continues, bedtime is earlier the next night...

Friends DS is allowed to do as he pleases and is usually still pissing about when they go to bed at 11:30/12. He's good in the mornings but always too 'tired' after school & sleeps half the weekend.

Exactly this, I do the same thing with my daughters, complaining, whining or not in the bed at the right time means half an hour early bedtime the next night... it works! I'm strict with sleeping cause it affects everything else.

OP, you are far from being the most unreasonable mother in the world, at 11 they need around 10 hours of sleep, if he wakes up at 6/6:30am his best bedtime should be 8/8:30 pm.