Opinions please?

[dancemom]

Would you let a sensible mature 11 year old

1 - stay home alone for an hour or two during school holidays or at weekends with the usual rules re not answering door not using cooker etc

2 - walk alone to friends house approx 3 minutes away

3 - make their own way to their hobby if it involved taking public transport, approx 10 minutes on transport then 3 minutes walk to venue if they had mobile phone

4 - walk home from youth club approx 3 minutes away at 9pm on a Saturday night

Just trying to gauge views and work out how reasonable / unreasonable I am!

1, Yes
2, Yes
3, No
4, No

(But then I am pretty over protective. I just think if I have a doubt then I would rather wait until they are a bit older. Plenty of future ventures alone to be had as teens and older!)

Yes
Yes
Yes (I'd do the journey with them first as a run through)
No (unless it was 3 minutes in a straight line where I could see them)

I'd also let a sensible, mature 11 year-old use the cooker, even if I was out.

Yes
Yes
Depends on the child
Depends on the area/route

Yes to all, apart from 4 when it's dark.

yes to all of them. I did it, as did all the children of my age back in what to many is probably the dark-ages. We were cooking teas for our siblings, doing the ironing, lighting fires in the autumn etc.

Of course we did sometimes wonder what happened to little Mandy, but the vicar told us that she'd gone to a better place, and not to talk to the meddling policemen from the big city, as they didn't understand our country ways.

Yes to all 4 in our area but not sure if I lived where my brother lives.

Based on my 11 year old DS. Yes (and does) to the 1 and 2. No to 3 and 4, but we live on a poorly lit and fast country lane.

Yes
Yes
No
No

Yes to all but the last one. I'm not sure, it would depend on the location.

Thank you everyone!

I'm currently yes yes no and no but was wavering on number 3 as its a journey we do 3 times a week and have done for 7 years! May start off letting her go herself and I will collect her for the return journey...

Yes
Yes
Yes
Possibly - depending on location, if it were still light, if they were walking with someone, if there were a reason I couldn't nip out and fetch them.

My DD is 10.75 and unusually mature

So based on my experiences with her:
1 Yes
2 Yes
3 Maybe in a year
4 No, I think it's too late

I would say yes to the first three without hesitation. The last one would depend on many factors. The route ie does it go past pubs etc where there may be potential for coming across drunks who may give them some hassle. If it was light out, a residential area and they were with a friend I would have no problems. If it was dark and they were on their own I would probably walk to meet them, perhaps halfway after a few weeks.

I think I would say yes to 3 as long as she texted me as soon as she got there. Definite no to 4.

1, 2, 3 definitely yes.

4 maybe with an older friend depending on area. But not in the dark so summer only.

Yes
Yes
Yes - but for the 1st couple of times but I would go separately to the club and meet her there to ensure she knows what she is doing. It is one thing doing it for years with you but another her actually travelling on her own.
and if she takes the bus ask her to sit / stand downstairs.
Yes - to start with in the summer and see how it goes when it gets darker.

Yes to all except maybe no.4 if it's dark.
My 11yo often spends a few hours alone at home and enjoys the peace and quiet!
I won't let her have a shower alone in case she slips she's a clumsy oaf

Yes to everything, though 4 depends on your location.

yes
yes
possibly
no way in winter, possibly in summer if phone call before leaving

Given your update, I think 3 would be a yes too.

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes, dd 12 does a longer trip a few times a week
4. I'd be inclined to collect

Can I ask at what age you started to allow no.1? It's something that DH and I have been talking about recently. Thanks

Yes
Yes
No
No