Preteens
10 yr old travel by bus from London to Derby
baixinha891 · 16/05/2016 16:03
Hiya,
I am a new here, maybe someone already answered that question. My partner has two children from his previous relationships. His 10 yr son lives in London with his mom. Anyways, 8 months ago we moved to Derby, since then my partner is travelling every two weeks to London. But this is only causing very high expenses for us and know that I am pregnant we cannot afford this kind of expenses. The travel is only 3 hours. Does anyone do it with their children? Do bus companies allow children from 10 yr to travel alone by bus? He's mother would drop him at the bus station and we would pick him up and call him to check on him if his fine during the travel. He is for his age very responsible and he has a phone so we would call him regularly.
I am thankful for every helpful answer.
Cheers
P1nkP0ppy · 16/05/2016 16:07
I would think it highly unlikely that a coach company would allow an unaccompanied 10 year old to travel that or any distance!
His DF chose to move 3 hours away so surely he needs to take responsibility, it's hardly the child's fault you're expecting.
AveEldon · 16/05/2016 16:11
National Express has a minimum age of 14 for unaccompanied travel
StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 16/05/2016 16:11
That's a hell of a distance to be travelling alone, at that age.
What do you do if he's not fine? Or if he goes through a bad signal area and you can't get in touch? Or the bus breaks down? (it does happen and the delays can be long)
The distance is something you needed to think about when you moved away from his mother. Don't make a decision made by you and his father into a problem for him.
CPtart · 16/05/2016 16:23
I have a 10 year old DS. These no way I'd put him on a coach unaccompanied for that distance..and he's sensible too. 3 hours would seem like a lifetime. Have a rethink.
ParadiseCity · 16/05/2016 16:25
Hahahaha lol.
I have 9 & 11 yos. No way Jose. I wouldn't even let them under a bridge by themselves.
That1950sMum · 16/05/2016 16:27
No way I would ask this of my 10 year old. You moved away so your responsibilty to go and collect him.
baixinha891 · 16/05/2016 16:29
We had personal reasons for moving in another city. Do coaches offer travel assistance like on airplanes? I mean there are plenty of divorce children on this earth and not all parents live in the same city. We are just trying a solution that do not put him in danger.
trixymalixy · 16/05/2016 16:29
My DS is nearly 10. No way on this earth would i allow him to travel on his own. You moved so you need to suck up the expense.
EllaHen · 16/05/2016 16:33
I have a 10 year old. Even it it were allowed and even if I thought her responsible enough, there is no way I'd ask her to sit on a bus on her own for 3 hours. No way to treat a child.
I'm quite angry on his behalf that you would ask this of him.
Jubaloo442 · 16/05/2016 16:33
No, coaches do not offer travel assistance like on planes.
SoddingPufflers · 16/05/2016 16:38
Absolutely no way. Mine had to be 12 and secondary school age before I would let her take public transport even locally on her own (ok with a friend the year before).
ThinkPinkStink · 16/05/2016 16:52
100% No. Not in a million years.
He is a child and you would expect him to travel alone for six hours (three either way) just to see his father, because his father (a grown adult) made the decision to move away and over-stretch his finances?
It's hard enough having your parents separate, then one parent moves away, and then that parent has another child - without being made to feel like you are a burden who has to be put at risk of harm, and severely inconvenienced just to see your own parent.
It's a gross suggestion.
Believeitornot · 16/05/2016 16:54
I'm not sure I would categorise "travelling to see my own child" as an expense which is one that needs cutting.
When your child is ten, let's see if you'd let them travel alone.
Make cuts elsewhere. This is important to the child that his father continues to make the effor.
Bearsinmotion · 16/05/2016 16:58
Anyway, surely the only difference in cost is between a child return and an adult return as I assume you would still be paying. So I don't believe cost is the only reason you are considering this stupid idea 
daydreamnation · 16/05/2016 17:05
Op, be interested to hear if you'd put your own dc on a coach for a 6 hour round trip alone when they are 10. No, thought not
notamummy10 · 16/05/2016 17:43
London to Derby is about 4 hours (and that's without any delays on the motorway) and the only member of staff on board is the coach driver. Also the coach is most likely going to be National Express, so as a PP has said they'd be refused anyway.
If the expense is the issue, get your partner to keep an eye out for advance tickets. Usually when I go to London, it only costs me £15 each way. Train companies release the advance tickets about 12 weeks before the departure date.
redhat · 16/05/2016 17:46
Not in a million years. Sorry but agree with the others. This is something that should have been factored in as a priority expense when you decided to move.
LizzieMacQueen · 16/05/2016 17:48
You say he has two children from a previous relationship. How/when does he see his other child?
To answer your question, 10 is too young. Even at an older age, travelling 6 hours EOW to see your DH will impact on their social life and schoolwork. Did you consider these when you made your decision to move.
Chippednailvarnishing · 16/05/2016 17:48
So in 10 years time will you be happy putting your child on a bus alone OP?
YorkieDorkie · 16/05/2016 17:50
Poor kid 
I agree with every word above. I know some adults who wouldn't be able to manage that journey let alone a 10yo. You're being unbelievably selfish and still you're trying to justify yourself.
Unbelievably you are making your problem into his problem and that is not fair.
NerrSnerr · 16/05/2016 17:53
I think especially with a new sibling on the way your partner's son is going to feel pushed out, especially as his dad moved 3 hours away and now his dad won't even go and pick him up. I also wouldn't feel happy with a 10 year old travelling all that way by himself.
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 16/05/2016 17:57
People are being very hard on the poor op.
I agree with everyone else that it is not a viable plan, but she's only asking!
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