Growing up is hard to do

[Queenofthesilverdollar]

My Lovely DS 11.5 is finding growing up a bit hard at mo. He is doing well at school made new friends and generally enjoys life. He is definitely hormonal and some times gets v down for no specific reason. Last night he was tearful because he had to go back to school today and wished it was like primary because they had more fun and that he wished he was one of those people who everybody wanted to be friends with. We had a chat and hug and he was fine. We talked about how sometimes growing up is hard work but that DH and I very proud of how he's doing such a good job of it.

I just don't feel very well equipped to deal with teenage years, my DN is 14 and is a real Kevin and my sis has patience of a saint.

Would love some advice, or recommended reading

My son was 'woe is me' re going back tomorrow. He's also year 7, has some anxiety issues and now it seems, low self-esteem, which seems to be based around being crap at football. He started saying some interesting stuff but I had to drop him at a friend's to do work. He has good friends & is well-liked (gets invited to all the parties it seems, unlike older DD), but is on a downer. Older DD has a lot more to moan about in terms of her social life, but she's much more upbeat as a person. Just wanted to let u know you're not alone. As you say, it could well be hormonal.

And I suppose all we can do is listen. A lot of it is validating their feelings (try reading Divas and Doorslammers for teen-mind insights).

It's such a difficult age, neither child or teenager, body changes, new school so much to take on.

I also feel that there is more peer pressure than ever before due to social media. They are bombarded with edited versions of their friends cool and amazing lives. Everyone else appears to be having fun, be better looking, more popular and super talented.

I talk with DD quite a bit about how what we see on social media is usually the best bits and the highlights of someone's life and that really everyone has insecurities and bad days they just don't share this part.

I was just going to comment on social media - stuff they wouldn't normally see or hear about is in their face - so X went bowling with y ?? Or d and j went for a sleepover - it adds up in their heads and appears that everyone does everything !!

The social media bit is horrendous. DD found out from snapchat (she's 13), that she was left out of an outing, and was not happy. She would've been none the wiser without social media. It has its place, but to flaunt your outings to someone you've left out is not on.

By the same token I'm sure your DD had 'left' people out and not realised! With no harm meant

Thanks all. He was a very happy bunny tonight. It's a rollercoaster