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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

9 yr old DD wants snapchat!

29 replies

Higuys22 · 09/02/2016 21:17

Firstly I am aware that age 9 isn't pre-teen but I wasn't sure we're else to write sorry oops

Anyhow, my 9 year old DD wants snapchat on her iPad mini (that she got as a prize for getting it a school). She only wants it to message me and her 13 ye old sister because she doesn't have a phone to text and my Apple ID is linked to her iPad so she can't use that for messages!

Shall I let her have it??
Let me know asap :)

OP posts:

StrumpersPlunkett · 09/02/2016 21:19

No,
No
Under no circumstances

Mrsmorton · 09/02/2016 21:22

No way.

AtSea1979 · 09/02/2016 21:23

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 09/02/2016 21:23

No.

Balletgirlmum · 09/02/2016 21:23

NO!

My 14 year old is allowed Facebook & Instagram but NOT Snapchat or Oovoo

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs · 09/02/2016 21:23

Hell no.

jinxdragon · 09/02/2016 21:25

No. I'm not hugely reactionary about these sort of things but snapchat is a total no in my book. There are other messaging apps for the ipad she could use I'm sure.

Balletgirlmum · 09/02/2016 21:25

My 11 year old is allowed a private Instagram account as long as I have all passwords

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 09/02/2016 21:26

I think the essence of being a responsible parent when it comes to Internet use is being able to monitor what they do, which you absolutely can't do with this.
And at the moment she may be going to use it only for harmless things but that could change without your realising.

Canshopwillshop · 09/02/2016 21:26

Reading these replies with interest. My 11 year old DD has Snapchat - I thought it was ok. Please can someone explain why it isn't?
Thanks.

Minniemagoo · 09/02/2016 21:27

Plenty other messaging apps available that would be more suitable - WhatsApp, Viber, KIK.
Definately no to snapchat

dontcryitsonlyajoke · 09/02/2016 21:27

No, way too young.

Balletgirlmum · 09/02/2016 21:28

With Instagram I can log directly into ds's account & monitor all his posts & PM's.

Snapchat has a timer thing which means the message disappears after so many seconds once viewed. So much ch more difficult to keep track of.

Minniemagoo · 09/02/2016 21:29

Canshop- this link is a good simple explanation
familyshare.com/parenting/10-things-parents-and-kids-should-know-about-the-snapchat-app

pengy83 · 09/02/2016 21:33

A no from me. My 13 year old isn't allowed it. She has a private Instagram account but that's it for now. I worry that they think Snapchat is just temporary and that the pictures disappear.

Canshopwillshop · 09/02/2016 21:37

Thanks Minnie, that's quite interesting. Might have to reconsider.

BlueStringPudding · 09/02/2016 21:39

DS (9) uses my snapchat account quite a lot - to communicate with his sisters who are at university, and I have to say it is really great for that.

He can only log on with my fingerprint authentication, so we tend to look at their snapchats together, and he then sends them photos of our pets, dinner, his maths homework, latest match attacks etc.

He doesn't have a device of his own, so is totally reliant on DH or I unlocking one for him to use. It works well at the moment. It will get harder when he asks to communicate with friends, but he will have to wait until he's older for that.

wannabestressfree · 09/02/2016 21:40

We ran a whole secondary school e-safety thing today and snapchat was a big no no.

bbpp · 09/02/2016 22:18

Snapchat is fine imo, as long as you trust 1. they're not going to be sexting, 2. they only add people and open snaps from people they know.

Apart from that it's just a popular app to send pics and captions, yes, the images/messages are encrypted but as long as those two points met above are satisfied... what's wrong with that?

There are much, much worse things to be found on Kik, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter than Snapchat. By a LONG shot.

bbpp · 09/02/2016 22:30

And if you want to know why the others are bad. Kik is overrun by pedophiles, ridiculously so. It's the modern day 'internet chat room'. Tumblr and Instagram are overrun by pro eating disorder and self harm accounts that encourage children to participate. And children and teens do, just from being involved in these accounts. It becomes a competition who's most 'mental'. They're also full of pornography, and have huge communities of ddlg, i.e pornography of women who look like children, complete with diapers, dummies and tartan skirts. This is also very popular on Twitter. Facebook is covered in gore, videos of child abuse and animal abuse and suicides and fights. Twitter I have the least experience of, but I know that it has the most relaxed nudity laws so a lot of porn actresses post previews to videos, and members of ISIS for example post about their experiences on there and their accounts are easily accessible, and the ddlg accounts I mentioned before.

Snapchat might have videos of the super bowl, or people celebrating new year. Apart from that you'll receive funny videos of your friend's pet dog. As long as their not sexting they're much less likely to get exposed to damaging material. The risk is almost nil, tbh, compared to the other sites.

Lilyannapollyanna · 09/02/2016 22:32

My 15 year old DD isn't allowed snap chat. Because it's not like
Facebook or Instagram where I can log in at any time and check what's on it. Once viewed they're deleted so you have no idea what pictures have been sent

bbpp · 09/02/2016 22:40

I think a 15 year old is different, Lilyanna, and I probably agree with your decision there. A 15 year old is more likely to get involved with sexting, or sending appropriate messages than a 9 year old. With a 9 year old I think the risk is them stumbling across something upsetting or inappropriate as opposed to them acting inappropriately themselves.

lovetheweekends · 09/02/2016 22:58

You should be able to add her as a family member to your iCloud account so that she can have her own log in and can then send iMessages etc for herself.
You add their age and all under ?13 year olds have to have all purchases agreed by the administrator. I have set it up to verify all new apps /games including free ones.
You can then share apps/music etc. if you make sure you have restrictions on for apps etc to 9+ it was filter out anything potentially unsuitable.
However, I think you need to have an alternative apple device - iMac, iPad, iPhone, to be able to receive the notifications (but I could be wrong!), so this could be an issue if you didn't.
My DD is also 9 😄

GColdtimer · 09/02/2016 23:28

What love the weekend said. Add her as a family member. She gets her own iCloud I'd (for iMessage,FaceTime and email) an you can configure her iPad with it. She can then request apps and you can approve or decline. She can also share your music and apps if you let her. My dd who is 9 has her iPod set up this way.

IguanaTail · 09/02/2016 23:33

A thousand times NO

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