Is it wrong for dd11 to wear a bikini?

[pasanda]

Just got back from 2 weeks in Greece where dd wore a bikini every day all day! She is going to Florida next week with her dad who thinks that a bikini 'sexualises' her and therefore she is not allowed to wear one there.

It doesn't bother me what she wears when away with him (she in fact knows he and her stepmother won't like it so is quite happy to wear a tankini) but I am a bit at how he thinks this is inappropriate.

He wants us to show a mutual front about the wearing of a bikini (i.e. not allowing it) but I argued this is impossible for me now, seeing as I have just spent 2 weeks with her in one and we also spent quite a while choosing a suitable one together.

My argument also is that she is not the one sexualising it, that thought would never cross her mind, (to her, and me, it is just an item of swim wear) … he is, by even thinking what he is thinking.

Do you allow your dd's to wear a bikini?

I do know what you mean about bikini tops on small girls - but mine have worn bikinis - or rather pants with a crop top-style ones - since they were tiny (I'm looking at some gorgeous pics on my wall of them in Greece now). DD1 is now 14 and will look distinctly fab in a smaller bikini on holiday next week; DD2 is a tiny 12 year old, looks like a 10 year old, and she's chosen a 'surf bikini' from Boden that looks like the sort they used to wear. And I'm going to be wearing a bikini with forgiving retro Big Pants.

My DD is a similar age OP and she happily wore a bikini on holiday and put a tshirt or rash vest on top of she was worries about burning. She loved that it had lots of ruffles on the top which made her feel less self conscious about her growing buds. This was much better than wearing a clingy Lycra swimsuit which made her feel very exposed. What your DH is not understanding is what a difficult age this is for your DD, where her body is changing and she feels very self conscious. He should be glad that she is happy and content enough to want to wear a bikini.

Thanks for all the great comments above. They have helped me feel that dd wearing a bikini in Greece was not at all wrong.

Ex DH thankfully did not discuss wearing a bikini with her last weekend. She goes off to Florida on Saturday and will most likely be wearing a tankini which is fine by me. I haven't mentioned my conversation with him either so in her mind it's just about daddy having a different opinion to me, rather than it being turned into a worry about pervy men/sexuality/paedophiles. (sp!!)

Thank God for that!!

Tankinis are fab IMO. The thing I don't understand with bikinis is that there is nothing to hold them on properly, therefore they shift about while kids are diving /jumping in, going down slides etc. Totally impractical! My 12 year old has tankinis and board shorts which she loves. We watched a surf board training device on a ship recently, the girls were advised to wear t shirts over their bikinis (as so many came off during surfing!!!)

Obviously I mean that younger girls have no boobs to keep bikini tops on!