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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

After school X-Box time, how much?

22 replies

CheshireEditor · 20/01/2014 19:47

Right then, straw poll needed. How much time after school do you allow you children to spend on computer gaming after homework is done?

It's all 11yo DS wants to do, everything else is "BOOORIIIIING" He's been behaving like a toddler for the last 40 minutes as we've taken him off the X-Box.

I want him to be able to do and enjoy other things and he's been on the darn thing for 1.hr 45 mns already since school finished!

DH has put him out in the back garden because he was vocally rude, swearing and stomping about whilst other younger DS is doing is reading. He's been told to cool it and come back in when he's thought about it all.

Arrrrghhhh.

OP posts:

Flyonthewindscreen · 21/01/2014 15:27

Don't really have a time limit as long as DS (12) does his homework, comes and has dinner pleasantly with the family and goes to scouts or any other organised things. He goes to bed at 9pm with no screens so that is reading time. I think I am a bit too relaxed about it as I know that when the light evenings and better weather return, DS prefers to be playing out anyway so the Xbox is partly seasonal.

Dededum · 21/01/2014 15:32

Another one who doesn't put any limits on as long as they do other things, off gadgets at 8ish, bed at 9 during the week. Two boys (12 & 10). Life is much more peaceful....

LastingLight · 21/01/2014 18:19

No tv or games during the week, laptop can be used for educational games or videoclips only. Reward system in place which can earn two marbles per day, when she has 15 marbles she may have 30 minutes of tv / games.

pandora987 · 23/01/2014 10:14

DD allowed Minecraft after school as long as homework done. Much better than hours of Disney Channel! Peaceful house , happy child...

hugmebrotha · 23/01/2014 16:08

Lasting that's very strict, how old is your child?

LastingLight · 24/01/2014 07:13

She is 11 hugmebrotha. I find that games especially is almost like a drug to her and she becomes difficult and uncooperative when she is playing. It's easier to just ban them outright, she is used to this and doesn't complain. There are enough fun educational things to keep her occupied. We want her to also read, do some exercise etc. There is only so much time in the afternoon.

DrNick · 24/01/2014 07:15

Unlimited here. Never been an issue. They bore themselves out occasionally

starfishmummy · 24/01/2014 07:56

DS has up to an hour of "electronic" time (playstation, computer) Sunday to Thursday providing homework is done - also time may be reduced for bad behaviour. Friday and Saturday he gets maybe half an hour longer as there is no school the next day.

Tuhlulah · 25/01/2014 12:02

My DS, yr7, doesn't play games but does programming, but it's still screen time. He's really creative, and we've always encouraged creativity. HOWEVER, it's all screen time.

I realised this week that when he comes home from school (4.45pm) the first thing he wants to do is get onto a screen. This may be watching or reading the news, but again it's still screen time.

Our routine is -in he comes, I insist on having a cup of tea together and him telling me about his day. Then he goes into his room and gets onto a screen. At 5.30 I'll reming him about homework, he'll ask if he can do it after dinner (usually 6/6.30 pm) and he's on the screen until then. And he'll be back on the screen in some shape or form after dinner and homework.

I realised (duh) that he may have a problem.

So I told him on Thursday night that he is going to have a screen free day on Sundays. No point in arranging this in the week because a lot of homework needs a screen

He was very quiet, then a bit belligerent. Not best pleased. But then started to think of the things he could do on the Sunday instead (he almost described it as being set free, which alarmed me).

Tomorrow is Sunday. Today he is on the screen programming and inventing. But we will fit in other stuff too.

Wish me luck for tomorrow's experiment which I am intending to stick at.

frugalfuzzpig · 25/01/2014 12:11

Mine are younger but we have no TV/DVDs Monday to Thursday, the only screen time they get is 30 mins on the iPad each (it's a family one not 'theirs' as such)

The main thing is that any time they get stroppy when it's time to hand it back, they lose their time the next day. We have only had to do that a couple of times as they learned pretty quickly that half an hour was better than none :o would something like that work? Maybe an hour though as he's bigger.

frugalfuzzpig · 25/01/2014 12:25

I do think whether or not you need limits depends on the child. My two are quite different - DS will just lock the iPad instantly when I tell him time's up, no matter where he is in a game. DD will be wanting to carry on a bit longer and will always try and eke it out and muscle in on DS' time by 'helping'.

It was because of DD that we started limiting it. When she first started playing on a Nintendo DS (again, an old one of ours, not hers) she would get major tunnel vision and get really stressy when we tried taking it away.

I was reading some stuff online recently about gaming addiction and how it can be just as physical as gambling or whatever because it's the body becoming dependant on the chemical 'rewards' (dopamine) which occur when you play games - it's like a 'rush' so you feel happier when you achieve something in the game. And I guess because games move so quickly you get into a pretty fast feedback loop (I think that's how they put it anyway) so you always need your next 'fix'. Presumably some are more susceptible to this which is why some can take or leave games and others really struggle when it's taken away.

I remember seeing some YouTube videos of people who had filmed their DCs flipping out when the xbox/PC was turned off.

MrRected · 25/01/2014 12:28

No screens at all Mon - Friday.

No complaints - it's just the way it is.

Journeytolight · 27/01/2014 16:45

Limit time to 45mins max.

My daughter has limit on screen time and it is working a treat

MerryBuddha · 27/01/2014 22:07

No computers, iPad etc Sunday night through to Friday morning. Also dc have a point system, more points gets more time on gadgets.

5 minutes per point.

It works, we have no moaning!

sicily1921 · 28/01/2014 15:03

14yr old DS goes on Wii after school for about an hour to 1 hour 15min tops as I know he likes to do homework after tea.

DD 11yrs will go on PC and play a game or write a story.

I find their general behaviour is better without too much screen time, besides as I said the other day, it's nice to discover you can still do other things like draw or read!

PantsInWash · 28/01/2014 22:59

DS (14) has about 1.5 hours Minecraft / YouTube (mainly watching game walk-throughs ) during the week, but much more at weekends, but he also does football & we encourage him to see friends etc.

However, DD (12) seems to get away with more than this - she has a tablet which she uses for Youtube & Instagram, whereas DS has a laptop which we don't "allow" in his room.

I think I may have spotted an inconsistency in our approach there... DD = tablet in room for hours, DS = laptop in living area for limited time... Bugger. Now I need to sort that one out...

How did it go on Sunday Tuhlulah ?

Taffeta · 30/01/2014 18:09

DS (10) doesn't have a limit per se, but he is out Mon, Weds, Sat ams and most of Sunday at football, and then has other activities Thurs and Fri, so there usually isn't acres of time.

He often has friends round on Tues and then they play on the screen together.

I do make sure he does any jobs, hamster care, homework etc first before going on screen.

DD (7) isn't that bothered, but has lately started playing a bit of Minecraft with DS.

callistodevi · 31/01/2014 20:51

DS (11) goes on pretty much when he likes, knows to get homework done. Has activities, (band, street dance, football) on 3 nights so does other stuff. Is an only child and we live in a small village so he chats to his schoolmates on xbox and they play Fifa and Minecraft. Will play out more in the lighter evenings, I expect. Used to get worried about screen time, but as long as he's doing other stuff with a variety of interests, don't see a problem and it's trusting him to spend his leisure time as he wishes.

JugglingChaotically · 31/01/2014 21:06

None after school Monday to Thursday.
Weekends only!
They don't argue as it's been the rule from the beginning and eldest in teens.
(Diff rules in the hols though!)

RudyMentary · 31/01/2014 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Avalon · 31/01/2014 21:15

Unlimited. Homework and chores need to be done, however, and they have other interests.

shey02 · 23/02/2014 23:33

No limits on tv or games, absolutely unlimited, but also strangely they are excellent academic students and super active/sporty too. Winter is definitely more tv and video games because of the weather but that's just how it is.

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