have just gone through dd2's phone

[Notmyidea]

And found she has charged a friend £1.20 to forge a sick note. She knows I check her phone, so I don't have to justify having found it, but I could do with talking through what to say to her in the morning, and to the other set of parents...:(
I'm most pissed off by the dishonesty, wondering what friend could be up to, how do I not make her more sneaky by going ballistic at her...help!

How old is she?

I have girls and have not found going ballistic helpful with them as teenagers. I can't say I found any miracle helpful idea either... But talking with them calmly and openly seemed best.

I once took DD out for a lunch in a pub where we ate and had a civil conversation over something fairly serious that she had done. We started our meal calmly...she guessed it was coming...polite chit chat then a calm and caring anyway... I've invited you out.....

She felt that I cared enough to make time, spend money and treat her like an adult. She was a little evasive but the most open I could expect her being a teen and all that

She is 11, year seven. I've been trying to get her to branch out in her friendships as she has a very domineering "BFF" but I have huge reservations about some of the friends she's making...

I'm sorry but I couldn't help but laugh. I thought you were going to have found I appropriate conversations with an older boy/online bullying/talking about self harm.

Okay it's not right but please keep perspective, it's pretty enterprising of her and I would be much much more concerned if she was the one buying the sick note rather than writing it.

Going out for a calm chat sounds like a good idea. Don't think she'll try to shut me up by crying loudly in public...

I am a bit impressed with the enterprise, but I don't like any of the reasons an eleven year old might be bunking off, I don't like that even if dd in some, misguided way thought she was helping a friend out she could make something from it.

was the child sciving, in which case it is very naughty, or just going to get in trouble for forgetting a note.

I know my BF forged a note for a mate who had permission to watch her brothers passing out parade, because her form teacher has an unbalanced sadistic bully.

Skiving

If my 11yr old was assisting someone to skive I'd be very concerned. What will she be doing at 15 ...

It's hopefully an immature, swept along by her peers mistake. Worth a calm chat of the W H A T on earth were you thinking? variety rather than straight in you are going to be punished

I really would want to know the thinking behind my DD if she did this.

That's funny...
At our school basically everybody did write sick notes for eachother, but the thing that bugs me up to now, that teachers... They did take them for real :O and they're supposed to be adults...

I wouldn't automatically think they were up to anything sinister. Do you know the full details? As in was it a sick note for a day off school? Or a sick note to get out p.e?

If its the latter, it is definately common practice and i wouldnt worry about it at all. The teachers see it a couple of times everyday. Plus, they still have to watch, just get away with participating!

If its for whole days off then i agree its a little more serious. But please get your facts correct before going in all guns blazing.

I love that it is 1.20. Not £1. unhelpful

It was for a day off school. Friend convinced her mother there was an inset day after half term to get out of a science test. Then got dd to do the note. £1.20 is the price of a hot chocolate and a cookie from the canteen. Friend also spun her mother a line about there being a cake sale to get the cash. Both have had parental bollockings and are in isolation at school as we speak.