Year 9

[Rice2]

Having a nightmare time to the start of year 9. Never had any problems with school before now. No problems in any lessons or with work, but problems happening outside of these. Swore at a teacher and became really angry over an incident - happened on two occasions. Stern talk to at home and promises made not to happen again after first incident, happened again, not as bad as the first but not acceptable. No problem at home or outside with them, reasonably well behaved. Any advice?

have they both happened in the same class? makes me think maybe problem with teacher/class?
I work in a secondary school with behaviour and we do have a huge amount of problems with yr 9. They're completely comfortable, they are full to bursting with hormones etc. Maybe have a chat with tutor/head of year to check if is fine in all other lessons. Might just be a "back to school blip? "

Thank you. In lessons absolutely fine, form tutors say works hard and follows directions and is reasonably well behaved in all lessons. Problem appears to be outside of classroom, breaks etc. I think difficulty coping with school banter - if that is what it is called - name calling etc. Someone else has suggested he keeps a diary for a month and writes in what has happened in his day and marks his day out of 10, to see if there is a pattern. I know the school will work to try and solve the problem and behaviour but because it is so out of character am very worried.

DS is nearly 14 & has flown into rages recently with me over nothing. I think it must be hormonal.

School banter or bullying?

Could he be reacting to provocation by others? Have you asked him about this?

Ooh, year 9. A very difficult year. I work in a boys' secondary school and every year we see boys who were quiet little angels turn into cocky little shits seemingly over the night. All hormones and awareness of place in the world and their peer group. Most of them come through it and settle down by year 11, but yes, it's not a stage I look forward to with relish for my own sons. sometimes it's really hard to separate what is just flying-off-the-handle normal hormone stuff and what is down to a deeper issue. Yes, keeping a diary might help to figure this out.

We also see a lot of personality clashes with some teachers with some year 9s- it's boundary-testing. Is it happening with just the one teacher each time?

It happened as a result of an argument with another pupil that escalated, whether over name calling or not we and the school are not clear, and he won't say. Problem was that it took a long time to calm him down. School said he had sworn which is so out of character - Also both incidents occurred within a three week prior which makes me worried. A good kid, pleasant can talk to adults but I am thinking has a problem with peers. Doesn't have much of a social life, but doesn't bother him. I made the error of clicking before final proof reading and it is Year 8...

I'm sure you've made it clear that he can talk to you. If you haven't done, do mention that tutors aren't just there to teach, they are there to support through difficult times and won't judge if he approaches them. Might be worth suggesting he can talk to a favourite tutor, Head of Year, Pastoral Support or his own tutor.

My daughter came home in tears the other day and was upset all evening over a couple of things that had happened with friends and was convinced they didn't like her any more. She went in the next day and turns out she had completely misunderstood things. It's important for them to fit in, feel they are accepted and can relax but this doesn't always happen.

You mention he could have problems with his peers. It might be worth emailing his form tutor initially who will know him well, raising your concerns over what's happened and asking about his peers. I'm sure the school would rather be working with you over this than against you.