Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

Should i tell my 9yr old DD she has hair under her arms?

21 replies

MrsHarryRamsden · 17/08/2013 22:49

I noticed it a few weeks ago, about half a dozen long straggly mid brown under arm hairs.

She knows all about changes which might happen to her body in the next few years, periods, pubes etc but has not noticed this hair herself.

Should i tell her i have noticed them and ask if she would like me to help her shave them or just leave her be? I made a veiled reference to armpit hair but she just glanced at herself without really looking and said, "well i dont have any hair there!"

I am a bit surprised as i didnt get any pubes until i was 12+ so was not expecting to deal with this yet!

OP posts:
AntoinetteCosway · 17/08/2013 22:50

Personally I'd leave it. They're not doing her any harm, it's pretty unlikely anyone else would notice and at the moment she's not self conscious which is a blessing!

Hulababy · 17/08/2013 22:52

11y dd has had hairs under her arms for a year or so. But It's only been this summer she's mentioned them as hey have grown darker and more of them had appeared. She asked so I allowed her, and helped her, to remove them using Veet

Original poster
MrsHarryRamsden · 17/08/2013 22:59

It is my instinct to leave her be so am inclined to do so. Smile

She has also started developing a bit of body odour and smelly feet so perhaps she is having hormonal changes. She is still very much a tall skinny drainpipe of a girl so far though.

OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 17/08/2013 23:05

DD2 (now 11) developed under arm hair at age 9. I can't remember who mentioned it first, but at some stage I offered to show her how to shave and she occasionally does this if she is going to be wearing a bikini or sleeveless top. The body odour is a much worse problem. I am constantly plying my DDs with deodorant, but it seems that not enough seems to get used.

OldBeanbagz · 17/08/2013 23:09

My DD is just developing armpit hair but i've not mentioned it to her. I figure she'll decided if and when she want to remove it.

Thankfully it's barely noticable at the moment.

Original poster
MrsHarryRamsden · 17/08/2013 23:10

What type of deodorant might be best for young girls?

OP posts:
chickensaladagain · 17/08/2013 23:20

I actually would mention it

It's better coming from mum than one on the children in her class making fun while they change for pe
At least that way she is aware and can make a decision

And before anyone says it, yes I know it's natural and people shouldn't be making fun but the reality is that 9 year olds find puberty hysterical!

I've found with my dds that the solid stick deodorants work best and are the kindest to their skin -Mitchum and dove are in use here

MajesticWhine · 17/08/2013 23:26

Dove is ok I think. I buy them whatever type they want, because for me it's about finding something they will actually use. So if they like the one with the pink lid and the pomegranate scent, then that's the one I'll buy.

Nagoo · 17/08/2013 23:27

I'd mention it, in case she is worrying about how to broach the subject with you. I doubt that she hasn't noticed it if you have. Then if she wants to talk about it with you she'll know she can.

Hulababy · 18/08/2013 13:35

The odour is something I would mention though and encourage to sort. Dd has been using deodorant for a couple of years or so now. I started with the aluminium free types but quickly just let her chose ones she liked so she would use it

Original poster
MrsHarryRamsden · 18/08/2013 13:47

Excuse my ignorance but is it a deodorant or anti perspirant i am looking for?

I was thinking of leaving the underarm hair issue as my dd wont be wearing vest tops, swimming cossie at school. but i have realised that this year for PE, instead of wearing their school polo shirts, they are to bring in a t shirt to change in and out of so the chance of her classmates noticing the hair before she does are quite high.

OP posts:
JustBecauseICan · 18/08/2013 13:52

My dd is almost 10 and whilst there are no hairs yet under her arms, she is starting to get them down below I've noticed. I think once underarm ones start to appear, I'll tell her what I do, and show her, for the same reasons others have said, in case other children make fun.

Dd has been using deodorant for about a year. Just uses whatever I do which is whatever is on offer. Dove or Nivea generally. I'd go for anti-perspirant deodorant (just to complicate matters!)

Original poster
MrsHarryRamsden · 20/08/2013 16:08

Well i managed to bring this up with her when we were lying in my bed this morning. I had my arms behind my heard and she commented on my slightly stubbly armpits so it opened the conversation in a very natural way...

She had a good look at her underarms and said, "Oh, i have hair!"
I asked if she wanted me to help her get rid of it but she said, "It's ok, i'm not bothered about getting rid of it." I had a good look at it and it really is sparse, fine hair, just quite long.

I reiterated that if she wants my help or a chat about body changes in the future, she only has to ask.

I have given her a deodorant too, my little girl is growing up!

Thanks all for the advice x

OP posts:
ChickenLickenSticken · 20/08/2013 16:25

Ahhhhh, my dd is only 20mo but the thought of her getting grown up makes me all emotional.

Well done, sounds like it was handled perfectly with your lovely little lady.

JustBecauseICan · 20/08/2013 18:55

Smile Sounds like it went well. I checked surreptitiously dd on the basis of this thread but nothing yet.

A girl in her class started her periods last year! (aged just 9)

Original poster
MrsHarryRamsden · 20/08/2013 21:54

Thanks chickenlicken x

I started my periods late at 14, as did my mum and dsis, but dsis dd (my niece) started at 9 too!

I hope that she doesnt start her periods yet, i dont know if there is an "order" for puberty to occur or if its different from child to child..any ideas?

OP posts:
ApprenticeSeamstress · 21/08/2013 18:10

aww this has been such a useful thread. this age is an emotional one. so scared of losing the baby, so proud of the adult emerging! I was going to start a similar post about my dd's leg hair, but I really admire how you handled it, and realise, with the way our conversation has evolved, we will properly have a naturally occurring moment too x

DaleyBump · 21/08/2013 18:14

I was very young when I went through puberty and had pubic hair since I was seven. I wish my mum had helped me to shave it off or even mentioned it to me before the other children in my class had noticed it. I was bullied dreadfully and having pubic hair just added fuel to the fire. Sounds like you handled it brilliantly :)

lexijon53 · 27/08/2013 18:49

Hi, I have had a similar problem with my DD. The odour was somewhat unpleasant at the end of the day and although she bathes regularly it could still be there an hour later. Anyway I was beside myself when I discussed it with a friend and she told me about a deodorant especially for kids. I went straight to Boots and bought it. My DD was over the moon and thought it very grown up. she has told all her friends and actually uses it. Oh, its called Teen Missy. Try it maybe your DD will use it too. It has certainly done the job for us. I hope this helps

Mintyy · 27/08/2013 18:51

Of course I'd mention it! Surely you want to be able to talk about perfectly natural changes in her body without being all hush hush and embarrassed about it?

Original poster
MrsHarryRamsden · 28/08/2013 13:59

Mintyy, its not a question of being embarrassed. as i stated in my first post we have had talks about body changes and she knows what to expect, she just hadnt noticed these changes in herself. I am glad our conversation occurred naturally, and without making her feel like she ought to get rid of her hairs if she wasnt bothered. As you say, these are perfectly natural changes.

i think, quite the opposite of being hush hush or embarrased about puberty, i am just being sensitive to the needs of my still quite little girl.

Lexi, thanks for that, i'll look out for it x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page