DD just shaved her legs for first time....

[SilverLining]

DD aged 11 has been going on about wanting to shave her legs for ages but we've discussed how she doesn't really need to yet, once you start slippery slope etc etc. thought she'd listened & understood BUT just come downstairs & told me she's done it anyway..... What now???? Should I just leave it to grow or is this it now???

At this point, probably congratulate her on doing a good/safe job and keep it positive. She may or may not decide to keep it up. But, since growing up and change can be so difficult, I think praise and then take it from there.

Thanks pennefab - know what you're saying. I just feel sad that we'd talked about it & I thought she'd accepted what I was telling her! Obviously not! Will inspect tom & hope for the best...!

It seems so young doesn't it :( So young to care about hair on your legs - or even notice it. However, obviously, for whatever reason, it was bothering her, so I'd just go with it. See what sort of a job she has done of it and maybe do it again for her if it's patchy.

However, I would also be having a few words about being honest with you and not leading you to believe one thing, whilst doing another. I know many will say 'It's her body and she has a right to do it' but at 11, I think she still needs to listen to you and accept some boundaries - otherwise you could say it's fine for her to be out at all hours, be on the internet 24/7 or whatever else she wants to do... it's not about having control over her body/how she looks, but the actions she takes. I hope that makes some sense.

I completely disagree with Chipping - sorry Chipping.

It is her body to do with as she likes, and if she is as conscious of her body hair as I was at that age (and still am) then I don't blame her for shaving it.

I know it is young, but it is obviously bothering her in spite of what you said to her about it previously.

DD is 9 and her hair is quite obvious, she doesn't seem to mind, but if she does, why on earth would I stop her from getting rid of it?

I shaved my legs at 11 for the first time.. then started to use Immac.. never did me any harm.. also eyebrows.
I think it is an age where you are very self conscious

I am 35 now

Oh thanks for replying - I totally see where both of you are coming from and think that's partly why I feel so upset about it! Its not like she had black thick hair on her legs but she is at that terribly awkward age and trying to fit in etc etc We had an incident on Saturday where she had a go at her eyebrows with a razor! Having had a long chat about the danger etc etc and not shouting at her she seemed to understand and I offered to take her to my beauty salon and get them waxed if they bothered her so much - which she declined! We then had a long cuddle and a chat about how her body is changing but if we can help her then we will. But tonight it turns out she'd had a go at her legs that night too! She's bloody crap at personal hygiene and needs a rocket to get her to wash her hair but seems to be obsessed with this! How hard is it to grow up now???!

I tried to tell her that once you start its a slippery slope and you'll be constantly doing it - we go on holiday in 2 weeks! Will inspect tomorrow and hopefully she wasn't v thorough!!

Thanks for the viewpoints though! Who ever said the first 12 weeks were the hardest....

Thanks Mrs Paddy - I was about 14 and remember it so clearly on my French Exchange trip - bored in the Alps I found a bic razor and think it took 2 weeks for my rash to calm down - ouch!!!!! She is definitely v self conscious so I guess if I can help her in some way....

I think I would pick your battles. This one isn't worth it but other ones will be. I would say you aren't cross about it, but please could she tell you straight if she disagrees in future so that you can come to a c

Compromise or prevent her from doing something that's actually dangerous.

Good point Scruffey - really don't want to turn this into a war (enough of those!) - pick your battles is my catchphrase! Will have a calm conversation tomorrow - whilst having a look up her PJ leg!!!!!

Why don't you take her to have her legs professionally was waxed, that way she will get around 3 weeks of no hair plus she won't be risking nicking herself with a sharp razor. I'm a beauty therapist and have a few pre teens who come for leg waxing as they have quite noticeable dark hair that they are very subconscious about and would otherwise get teased for in school.

Now I don't like the thought of our daughters growing up too quickly, I have a daughter myself and am very conscious about about what treatments are acceptable at what ages but for something like leg hair that a girl can be teased and bullied for I do think it should be up to the individual. I started shaving my legs when I started secondary school and didn't feel too young at the time as I wanted to fit in and wear skirts without feeling like a yeti. I don't think 11 is too young but I do think using a razor at 11 is too young. I would in immac or wax.

I don't know how old DD1 was, she just borrowed a bic razor and did them. I bought a better electric razor, but like me she prefers to wet shave.

She's 15 and these days hair remover cream sometimes appears, sometimes nice multi bladed razors, but mostly my cheap ones are still stolen. Once in a while she dons her swimming costume and gets her dad to do the bits she can't see. Which makes me laugh because I've been training him for years. I'm hopeless at doing my legs because my glasses steam up so he does mine too if perfection is required.

DD2 (12) will have to do hers next summer and no way will she ask her Dad, I doubt she'll ask be either. She may ask DD1 to check, but she does gym so can bend in ways that mean she will wonder why we swear at seeing the backs of our legs.

Good point - I get my legs waxed & she's always said she couldn't do it if it hurt so I might point out the risks of a razor.... Thanks though - good to know there are other preteens going through the same things!