just venting

[Notmyidea]

bought dd various new bits, including a backpack, all ready for secondary school in september. I let her use the bag on a guide weekend and have just found a rotten banana skin left in it, which has in turn destroyed a couple of books. I'll be deducting replacements from her pocket money but I'm livid. Dh and I go without so they can have nice things and she doesn't look after them. Argh!

I know it's infuriating, Notmyidea, but, at least you know she's not dropping litter. You're right to make her pay for replacement books, but don't dwell on it, she's much more likely to respond to a grown up conversation about how she is going to be expected to do more for herself as a year 7 (and how much you are enjoying watching her growing independence, even if it is driving you mad!) than the rant we are all prone to. And if all else fails, ask her if her bag is clean every time she leaves or enters the house, and when she complains "yes you already asked" tell her you'll stop asking when you're sure she can remember for herself.

Vent away notmyidea vent away, this is just the sort of thing my DD 11yrs would do. Totally maddening. Sounds like you taking good approach.

I would let it go tbh
She was probably knackered being away with guides & didn't think

I still have the book on the Ottonian empire which I bought as a 15yo on a trip to Germany; its edges and cover show the grease marks from my lunchtime snack of 35 years ago.

So I had the maturity to appreciate and covet this somewhat recondite work of learning but not the maturity not to put it next to a bar of melting chocolate during a hot coach journey through Europe.

Sums up preteens/teens really. The different parts of their brains just don't connect. I wouldn't be too hard on her.