12 year olds - does anyone else feel this?

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

I don't know whether anyone saw this article on Saturday? Mine's a dd not a ds, but despite the slightly mawkish tone of the article (which I generally dislike in the 'a letter to' column), it really struck a chord.

I don't think I found dd1 so difficult, but am finding dd2 so arsey and stroppy and just generally feeling as though.... she doesn't really love me any more. I'm glum and (hate this excuse, but it's true) a tad hormonal today, and I'd love to hear from other parents of 11/12 year olds. I know she'll be arsey when she gets in from school, so I don't hurry to be home first. I know she won't really be grateful for anything I do, but I just pathetically keep on. When I suggest things, she never seems that keen. When I ask her to do stuff, she huffs all over the place. She's cutting and unsympathetic and generally gives the air of despising me - and it is me, it's not dp and not really her sister who get this.

She's doing amazingly at school - clocking up the merits, lots of good feedback, happy in friendship groups which she's broadened since starting year 7. I just don't think she likes me much, and to be honest, some days I struggle to like her.

[IreneR]

This thread is just what I needed this morning, as I sniffle into my cup of coffee. Really sad part is, my DS isn't even 11 yet.

[Panadbois]

Can i join? DD, 12, says she hates me cos I'm too strict. I'm refusing to let her pierce her belly button and its soooo not fair.

I'm sitting on my bed hiding now cos she bullies me. She's not very nice at the moment

[merlin]

Bubby64 - you have just described my DS1 perfectly. I do worry that the communication is going completely downhill

[timetosmile]

I am coming to join in with you lot!!

DS1 is 12.5, and can be veeery hard work sometimes, in the snarly eye-rolling "You can't tell me what to do any more, Mum" kind of way.

But at other times he's chatty, funny, thoughtful, still snuggly

I think DH and I and also DS have that sense that we are feeling our way into a new phase of our relationship.

What I think I struggle with most is the self-control to 'let him fail' i.e.if he dawdles his way through the morning he will be late for school, if he doesn't get his homework done he will get detention etc.

What are your non-negotiables in terms of ThingsThatNeedToGetDone?
Mine are school bags packed the night before, laundry into bin, clean clothes off bed and into wardrobe, brush your teeth twice a day, do ad-hoc chores when requested.

It just feels like our relationship is diminishing to a constatnt bickering about stuff...

But I love the solidarity on here!

[sandyballs]

Dancergirl - that 'awkward' thing drives me insane! DD has also started a new phrase "I actually find that rather offensive", she must say it about 50 times a day .

[Dancergirl]

Out of interest, do you all think that not liking your parents and saying I hate you and all that stuff is inevitable at this age? We haven't had much of that yet but I'm getting glimpses of what's to come. Dd is angry with me for not letting her do something. I know it's all normal but how do you cope with I hate yous?