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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

What do your Y6 ish kids do outside of school and how important do you think it is?

37 replies

CambridgeBlue · 22/03/2013 08:17

DD is considering giving up her gym classes as she's not really enjoying them - she was moved into the development squad because she showed promise but is finding the classes quite dull and repetitive. I don't want her to do something she dislikes (and am happy to save ££ on classes!) but she really wanted to do this and now seems to be giving up at the first hurdle.

The other thing is, if she gives up these classes she doesn't really have any other interests outside of school. She goes to a local Youth Club but apart from that she mainly watches TV, draws, reads or we do stuff as a family. I hate the idea of helicoptered kids doing umpteen activities and never having the chance to just 'be' but she seems to be going the other way and it worries me that a more rounded life outside of school seems to be expected.

I don't want to force her into doing this class or trying something new for the sake of it but wonder if I should be encouraging her to widen her interests (at home or otherwise). What do other kids her age do?

OP posts:
GooseyLoosey · 22/03/2013 09:14

ds does football twice a week, swimming, guitar and tae-kwon-do. In the summer he also cycles with a club and plays cricket instead of football.

dd is harder and I think there is less for girls. She (by her own choice) plays the clarinet and the piano, is a member of a running club, goes swimming and does gym at the weekend.

I think they do far too much but neither will give anything up. Except for the swimming, which I insist on, everything is done at their instigation.

Between their activities and homework, most days there is no time to watch any TV. They like it like that for the moment, but I suspect when they get to senior school, it will all change.

PureQuintessence · 22/03/2013 09:18

Ds1 who is in Y6 does swimming, and cricket in summer. We have tried him on numerous activities. He did Tae Kwon Do for three years but we have not found any club where we live now. He did Fencing, and got bored. It is so hard if they are not in to team sports! He also cycles. And we go hiking as a family.
Maybe your dd would enjoy netball?

Clayhead · 22/03/2013 09:19

My dd does Guides and that's it. She does do running but that's at school. We watch some TV together, do family stuff. I'm enjoying spending time with her before she doesn't want to any more!

Arcticwaffle · 22/03/2013 09:20

12yo dd does youth club (woodcraft folk), judo, flute lessons, junior band, robot club, swimming, weeklyart club, monthly art club, + sailing in summer.

11yo dd does woodcraft folk, judo, keyboard lessons, book club, monthly art club, kayaking in summer, and lots of things like school council, school librarian.

8yo dd does woodcraft folk, drum lessons, drama, choir. wants to start art club and maybe judo.

They all like doing activities and are quite flexible on what sort of things they like. Apart from team sports. They won't do those.

Theas18 · 22/03/2013 09:23

I would say you need to find an out of school hobby she enjoys and will carry over to secondary school age. Doesn't matter what, but its a great buffer against the huge life changes/friend changes that are coming up.

MTSgroupie · 22/03/2013 09:23

Football, netball and swimming for sports. In addition they took music lessons and were members of an orchestra.

Sirzy · 22/03/2013 09:26

Have you considered St John Ambulance?

Original poster
CambridgeBlue · 22/03/2013 11:56

Thanks all, I think my issue is that she seems to try things and not stick at them and I don't know if that's a problem. She did Brownies for a while and gave up although to be fair to her the pack was pretty rubbish and they didn't do much apart from watch DVDs and play rounders. She also did netball last term but didn't enjoy it and hasn't shown much interest in any other after school clubs. It was my decision for her to give up swimming as I felt she'd come as far as she could and the lessons were quite pricey.

I think it's important she has some interests outside of school and am a bit sad that she's quite negative about what she has tried and doesn't show any interest in anything else. Maybe I need to make some more suggestions (St JA could be worth looking into). I just don't want her lack of a more 'rounded' life to hold her back later on or for her to go off the rails when she's older because she's bored.

OP posts:
lljkk · 22/03/2013 12:18

I always thought it was great for them to do clubs to save them from the worst excesses of peer pressure, but now I don't think it works quite like that. DC1 struggled to take to anything until y7 when he joined Scouts (loves it, but partly because it's a great troop, anyway).

I was never much of a joiner, either. Mom made me go to drama & I was lousy at that, too. As an adult I turned into the sort who joins every club going, though.

I wonder if you could suggest that she try one new activity per term, minimum 2 sessions. If she hates it, fine, but just to keep open minded about new things in her life.

My current y6 child is a manic joiner, sports mad, etc. other extreme from DC1. DC3 gets kicked out of clubs :( and i haven't been brave enough to try any yet for DC4.

Notmyidea · 22/03/2013 20:37

I feel strongly that I want mine to be doing physical activity because I don't want them to have issues with their weight. They both do a dance class, swimming, guides and an instrument. I don't see the harm in them trying things and giving them up as long as they see through what I've paid for.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 23/03/2013 08:38

They each do one sport class or club (apart from DS2, long story), one musical instrument and Saturday music school, plus Scouts/Cubs/Brownies and a church youth club.

Hulababy · 23/03/2013 16:18

DD does drama outside of school, once a week. She loves it. Goes with two good friends plus has other friends there too - boys and girls of different ages. She's been going since she was 5 or 6. Given her loads of confidence and helps with her singing (she has lessons at school) too. She thinks nothing of singing solo to crowds of people in middle of town, etc. or acting busker style at mini festivals with the group.

That's the only class she does away from school. She goes art and drama clubs in after school clubs, and singing lessons at school. And she does a dance fit class at school lunch time too.

DD doesn't do anything on a weekend often - unless school or her drama club require it. We do things as a family at weekends, so prefer to avoid it wherever we can. Always have done. Works for us.

Dededum · 24/03/2013 10:59

DS2 (yr 5) does football and about to start badminton.

DS1 (yr 7) tried loads of things, didn't get on with other kids, so really computer and tv. But now in year 7 he has reserructed his interest in Chess (is quite good), his enthusasism is brilliant. He is entering a competition shortly and I am petrified/excited to see how he does!

Think that I think it's the enthusasism that is the most important not the quantity.

Izzy123lo · 24/03/2013 11:29

DD1 (y7) Does Gym, Judo, Horse-riding, Badminton, Ballet, Tapdance, Modern and Streetdance. She chooses to do all these my herself

apatchylass · 26/03/2013 15:00

DS1 does rugby, martial arts, drama and scouts outside of school hours. At school he is in orchestra, jazz band, choir and plays piano.
DS2 does rugby, art, drama and scouts outside school hours. At school he also does a craft club.
Seems to me these activities are very important because they can't or don't have the same level of freedom we had at their age. When it's fine they go off cycling a bit with friends but most of the time they just hang around the house on screens or reading. These activities only take up 5 hours of their extensive free time. Without them, they'd be really restricted in their interests.

It's probably worth explaining to your DD that even things we enjoy go through dull stretches, especially in training. Can you get out some DVDs of olympic gymnasts to watch together, or take her to a street dance club where she could use some of her skills in a more improvisational way - just top keep her interested.
May be worth doing something linked but different - figure skating, dance, diving, even martial arts etc, so she realises how much she has progressed in what she does, and how skilled she is becoming.

AmiorEzzy · 27/04/2013 20:35

DD1 does tag ruby, netball, basketball, football, athletics, hockey and sometimes does running on the weekends. I think she is doing to much but I don't know. She doesn't do all them all year round but she is always doing something. I know kids should run but she is really thin but eats a lot. She plays the saxophone to. I know she sounds like a perfect child but when she is angry she doesn't talk and we don't know what is wrong!

DD2 does Hockey and sometimes runs. She is 15 and has given up loads of sports. I think she needs to do more but won't do anything. She likes music and plays the viola, piano and guitar.

mankyscotslass · 27/04/2013 20:37

DS1 Does football, cricket and chess. He gave up scouts as he wasn't enjoying it, though he loved Cubs.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii · 27/04/2013 20:52

I used to get mine to do a sport at least once a week but other than that I left it up to them. I never made them 'commit' for more than a term or season. I just wanted them to learn to enjoy sports and other activities.
They all chopped and changed what they have done but now that they are 17,19 and 20 all play various sports for fun. I am really pleased as a lot of kids drop sports at Uni. None of my kids are particularly good at sports but all see sport as an important part of their lives.

The only thing I made them do long term was to learn to swim to a reasonable level. It was a non negotiable activity Smile They didn't mind though as they could see it was important.

Lwilliams101 · 27/04/2013 21:47

my dd who is now in year 8 went through a stage like that when she was making the transfer between schools and I was worried about her as she was very sporty but then about 2 months later in year 7 she started up a lot of new clubs saying she was getting bored and now she does football, tae-kwon-do art club drama club basketball rounder and hurdles! so they will get over that stage soon but you could try suggesting lots of unique clubs that worked with my dd

MNBlackpoolandFylde · 27/04/2013 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Still18atheart · 27/04/2013 22:15

Brownies / Guides (think more likely to be Guides at that age)

Swimming lessons

bigTillyMint · 28/04/2013 07:54

One of DD's best friends was a bit like yours - appearing to not stick at stuff, but I think it was more that she hadn't found her "thing" because she has now been doing her favourite sport/musical instrument for a few years.

Plus remember that at secondary there will be lots of after-school things to choose from.

In Y6 DD did gymnastics, swimming squad, piano lessons (but no practice!), youth club.
Now in Y9 she still does gym (10hrs a week), football and stuff with friends in-between homework!

Last year - Y6 - (seems like a lifetime ago!) DS did football, swimming squad, scouts, hanging out with friends in the park!
Now in Y7, he does football and stuff with friends in-between homework!

LucyLucas · 29/04/2013 16:27

My niece is in year 7 now but when she was in year 6, she did
football twice a week
netball
tennis
basketball
cricket
athletics
indoor athletics
three instruments
swimming 4 times a week (for a club)
hockey
Still does all of them now in year 7 and never gave anything up. She chose to do it all by herself, and all our family do lots of clubs. It just depends on the child in question and the encouragment
of the parents. Let them deide-might jusst be a phase but make sure they do the right amount of exercise a day.

AmiorEzzy · 29/04/2013 16:30

Oh hi Lucy

AmiorEzzy · 29/04/2013 16:31

My 4yr old twins both do art club and swimming

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