How to handle DD s rage?

[lottie63]

Have just noticed this morning that my 11 year old DD has torn our shower curtain having got angry as last night, being fed up of her not showering enough- see my other thread in this forum- I turned off the TV and made her get a shower. She was very angry and as a result, tore the curtain. I m shocked. She s never done anything like this before.

How the hell should I handle this one?

From past experience, and other mum's stories, it is not as unusual as you might feel.
Try and leave discussing it until you are both calm. Try to talk to her as an equal about it, as that way you give her the chance to see the situation through more grown up eyes.

Try to find out why she didn't want to shower, and come to some agreement about when she uses the bathroom to fit in with others, etc.
Presumably there is a lock on the bathroom door, and she can shower and change in private?
Then, I would happily take her shopping and get her to buy a new (cheap) shower curtain out of her pocket money. No treats for her, but maybe a little indulgent window shopping for you, while she gets bored.

Have you spoken to her op?

I did although I perhaps could have been calmer. I ve said she needs to buy a new one. In fact, I ve told her they are expensive. I think it needs to make a dent... some impact. She will hv to withdraw the money herself and physically hand it over to me. I have no idea if that will do the trick

Have read your other thread now. My dd used to get eczema and we found getting it wet would make it worse. We settled on a her topping & tailing morning and night every day, except Sunday night and the nights she had had PE at school, when she had a shower. I could only use Tesco non bio washing powder, and she could only use one or two simple sorts of shampoo or liquid soap.
She doesn't get exzema anymore and loves her showers, has one most days. I am sure she would have had more when younger if it didn't make the itching worse.

Thanks for this. I find her eczema better when she keeps clean though that may be that she moisturises afterwards perhaps and it is THIS that helps.

It could be the moisturising that helps more than having a shower. My Mum's generation managed to stay clean with daily washes and a bath once a week. I wouldn't say someone is dirty for not having a shower.

What matters is what works for your daughter. She has to decide on a hygiene routine for herself.