My two bickering kids are making me miserable please help

[mumof2monsters]

My DS is 11 and DD 8 nearly 9 and all they do all day long is bicker. All I get is he did this or she did that and to be honest I am finding it really draining and am at the end of my teather.

DS can be quiet argumentitive and does wind her up and when I am not in the room he says she slaps and hits him and she denies it. Have told them this morning that their dad and I are finding it really draining and have had enough and then after taking DS to out as he wanted to buy lego with his own money I come home and they are at it again. I shouted at them and lost my temper and DS stormed upstairs and I have sent DD to her room. I just cannot stand another 4 weeks of this and don't know what to do.
DH and I work shifts and this is just too tiring on top of working nights etc. Please can anyone help or do you have any suggestions.

Mine do this a lot at times. Holidays are usually worse if everyone (or just the two of them) are together 24/7 - its much better now they are older and organise their own social lives.
Bickering, etc, give a warning and then send both up to their rooms (if they have their own rooms!) - only allowed down when you say and only if no more bickering etc. Repeat ad nauseum

Thanks big Tilly. Just feeling low today and I think it has got to me. Just makes me cross that they do this especially after yesterday when I took them and friends swimming. I just feel there is no respect for me and when I do tell them off it seems to make no difference. Have just told them they have lost part of this months pocket money and if it continues they will lose the lot!
Roll on back to school! THanks xx

Going out seems to help but my two can be unbearable too

Dont feel bad - I have so been there and we dont even work shifts - we are both off with them as we are teachers!
Can I suggest you tell them that they can work towards earning their povket money back? Going for the positives is so much more effective. You need to be crystal ckear about what it is they have to do to earn 10/20/50p or whatever back, and meanwhile enforce the uptoyourroom rule as necessary!

I'd crack right down, treat them like infants, no privileges, no time alone together, constant supervision, give them things to do to keep them busy.

Things like hoovering/dusting tidying under the bed/weeding the cracks in the garden and make it quite clear that as soon as they can get along in a civil manner all the slave labour tedium stops.

I call this The Law of Universal Misery..if they cannot get along nicely OR make me miserable it WILL be implemented, and NO ONE will be happy EVER again.

I have raised three to teenage stage and I'd say 80% of the time they rub along nicely...if they bicker I rarely hear it cos they know what will happen!

Never intervene in their rows to adjudicate, if you have to know what went on interrogate ask them separately and insist they explain how the bickering could have been avoided, and get them to apologise to each other.

mumof2 you have my total and complete sympathy! I also have an 11 yo and a 9 yo although opposite sexes from yours and they are exactly the same. I try so hard to be fair and reasonable but some days i just lose it! I quite like the Law of Universal Misery!! Hugs xx