My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

When your kids get to a certain age do you just give up having days out with them?

60 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 01/06/2012 21:26

dd is 11. We're going away tomorrow for a few days camping and have days out planned each day. Now weather forecast isn't good so the aim is for mainly indoory type stuff. Going to the think tank science museum in Birmingham one day, the back to backs in Birmingham another day with the promise of shopping alongside that, black country museum another day (meant to be like beamish), and Chester zoo another day.

Chester zoo is the only day which got a positive reaction, she's looked at the think tank website and said ok, she's quite horrified by the black country museum idea and is only agreeing to the back to backs if she can go to h&m after.

She says she would rather not go away over half term And instead would prefer to mope round the house and meet up with her mates down the park. Are my days of taking her out numbered?

OP posts:
HerMajAnyFucker · 01/06/2012 21:27

yep

around about now

ShowOfHands · 01/06/2012 21:29

I still go on days out with my parents. I'm 31.

mumblechum1 · 01/06/2012 21:30

Probably, yes. DS stopped coming out for walks with us (our usual weekend R&R) when he was 11 and insisted on staying at home without us.

When we're on holiday is the only time we really do stuff as a family (he's 17 now), so we go all out, doing hot air ballooning, zip wiring, kayaking, quadbiking, clay pigeon shooting etc as the rest of the year he does his own thing and we do ours.

skirt · 01/06/2012 21:31

You are joking, our dd1 comes home from Uni and we can't fucking shake her off :)

HerMajAnyFucker · 01/06/2012 21:33

SOH, I bet you had a hiatus for a few years

I stopped taking my dc on the "days out" thing, when they started complaining about it being "boring", mithering for stuff from the gift shops and generally making it clear I was wasting my time and money since they clearly preferred playing out with their friends

now I put my feet up and MN, while they entertain themselves

it's great

IBetTheresFlumpPorn · 01/06/2012 21:33

Partly it's them, and partly it's the fact that most things are aimed either at adults or at younger children. Ours are nearly 14 and 10, and last year we tried a few outdoor-type activities like canoeing. NEVER AGAIN. The stropping and bickering was nothing ordinary and we looked and sounded like That Family (YKWIM). We actually get on all right, until we try to do stuff like that.

IBetTheresFlumpPorn · 01/06/2012 21:33

Partly it's them, and partly it's the fact that most things are aimed either at adults or at younger children. Ours are nearly 14 and 10, and last year we tried a few outdoor-type activities like canoeing. NEVER AGAIN. The stropping and bickering was nothing ordinary and we looked and sounded like That Family (YKWIM). We actually get on all right, until we try to do stuff like that.

IBetTheresFlumpPorn · 01/06/2012 21:34

(sorry for double post Blush)

HerMajAnyFucker · 01/06/2012 21:34

my family (of 4) scatter to the 4 corners of our house

or they are out

it's great

VivaLeBeaver · 01/06/2012 21:35

I think I need to find a new hobby. I feel like I'm getting empty nest syndrome eight years before I was expecting it. I can't MN all the time at weekends and school holidays. God, what if I have to do housework! This is serious.

OP posts:
HerMajAnyFucker · 01/06/2012 21:36

it is very serious, V

HerMajAnyFucker · 01/06/2012 21:36

do you have a partner, V ?

i find DH and I have lots more recreational sex these days

it's great

VivaLeBeaver · 01/06/2012 21:38


I've just bought an expensive new tent, were not going to use it much are we? I need another child, though also need a functioning womb for that so no chance.
OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 01/06/2012 21:38

I do have a dh, we've had sex once this year...........

OP posts:
skirt · 01/06/2012 21:39

We had the 19 year old the other day, home for the weekend, whinging that the 12 year old had sacked her off.

Afternoon sex is brilliant though.

LST · 01/06/2012 21:40

I've always loved going out with my mum and dad. And still do (21). But some of my friends never did.

HerMajAnyFucker · 01/06/2012 21:40

really, V ?

that's not so good Sad

VivaLeBeaver · 01/06/2012 21:42

Dh is off paragliding all the time. Maybe I should go paragliding. Jesus. I'm seriously quite upset.

OP posts:
IBetTheresFlumpPorn · 01/06/2012 21:42

Mine still like the idea of it, so they moan and whinge if we don't organise days out. So out we go, and they moan and whinge some more.

winnybella · 01/06/2012 21:42

Phew, what a relief to read that it's not just me and my DS. I thought I was providing substandard entertainment. He's 10 and has zero interest in walks, museums etc. Cinema will do, sometimes Hmm

It's odd when they become so (pseudo)independent, eh?

IBetTheresFlumpPorn · 01/06/2012 21:42

I recommend letting them moan and whinge at home. It's cheaper.

Beamur · 01/06/2012 21:45

Blimey - 11?
Our older kids (17 and 18) will still come out occasionally if we do something they like, like meals, cinema or galleries.
Earlier years activities included more active things like 'go ape' but they are both still up for a camping trip. I think our kids are a bit odd and quite like hanging out with the olds occasionally.

VivaLeBeaver · 01/06/2012 21:45

It's an awkward age really I suppose. She's not old enough for me to leave her hanging round the village while I go to a spa for the day or something. But too old to want to do anything with me......so I have to hang round the house while she's down the park??? Great. And dh goes out paragliding with his mates.

Maybe I should try and up my fitness, a friend is trying to talk me into doing triathlons with her.

OP posts:
winnybella · 01/06/2012 21:46

Yes, and what's up with moaning and whinging all the time? I guess I did that too at that age. I'm actually scared of the teenage years, especially as DS is under influence of evil ex and is becoming more and more sarcastic and unpleasant to me Sad

Hmm, sorry, didn't mean to start talking all about myself, just had an upsetting moment with him today and had no one to talk to and didn't want to start a thread about it.

Sorry to hear about your health problems, Viva.

HerMajAnyFucker · 01/06/2012 21:47

err, V

your dh should be doing his share of child care

why isn't he ?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.