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When your kids get to a certain age do you just give up having days out with them?

60 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 01/06/2012 21:26

dd is 11. We're going away tomorrow for a few days camping and have days out planned each day. Now weather forecast isn't good so the aim is for mainly indoory type stuff. Going to the think tank science museum in Birmingham one day, the back to backs in Birmingham another day with the promise of shopping alongside that, black country museum another day (meant to be like beamish), and Chester zoo another day.

Chester zoo is the only day which got a positive reaction, she's looked at the think tank website and said ok, she's quite horrified by the black country museum idea and is only agreeing to the back to backs if she can go to h&m after.

She says she would rather not go away over half term And instead would prefer to mope round the house and meet up with her mates down the park. Are my days of taking her out numbered?

OP posts:

ivykaty44 · 02/06/2012 12:28

I've just bought an expensive new tent, were not going to use it much are we?

take it to france on a campsite with others her age and a swimming pool and you will have peace and sunshine.

Or take it to a campsite in this country with teenagers and get yourself a book and a comfy chair

Stop trying to hard


cory · 02/06/2012 12:43

They may not be numbered, Jenai. Dd goes with me to the theatre, to museums, to bokshops, swimming. The only thing she doesn't enjoy is wildlife watching- so then I go with dh. Otoh I hate clothes shopping so when dd wants an advisor on style she takes little brother instead. Give and take, compromise, it works quite well.

I would never have settled for a solution where I was the one who had to stay at home all the time whilst they were the only ones to get to go out and have fun. Imho it is good for children to learn that adults have needs and interests just like they do.


roisin · 02/06/2012 12:54

ds1 is 15 next month and comes happily on most days out and holidays. But he does nothing else; doesn't socialise with mates and just lives through his laptop!

We almost always give him a choice though: so ds2, dh and I go to lots of choral and classical concerts; ds1 chooses not to come to them. But if there's food involved, he'll usually choose to come!


JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 02/06/2012 13:17

Ah, that's good to know cory :)


cory · 02/06/2012 14:59

I think basically as children grow closer to adulthood it makes sense both to give them more adult freedoms and expect more adult behaviour of them. That includes getting them to accept that sometimes we are inconvenienced for their sake, sometimes they are inconvenienced for our sake, sometimes we can work out a solution where nobody is inconvenienced.

But a situation where the inconvenience is always on one side (whether the child's or the parent's) isn't helping anyone to get closer to adulthood.


JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 02/06/2012 18:14

I like your thinking, cory.


BoffinMum · 02/06/2012 18:24

My kids are all over the place in age, 25-14-11-3. Imagine the trauma organising a day out with that lot?

Our answer is to make sure that each person gets to do something during the day that they like, in return for putting up with the things the others like. Plus we bribe them with cake and gift shop money sometimes as well.

It works quite well.


JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 02/06/2012 18:25

Grin Boffin


GnocchiNineDoors · 02/06/2012 18:27

Could you take a friend with you for her?

Theyll keep each other entertained but I would still drag them round the stuff you want to do.


insanityscratching · 02/06/2012 18:41

Not like that here, we go to the coast with the youngest dd 9 and they turn up for a day or two with girlfriends/boyfriends they are aged 24/23/18.We might not get them all at once or each of them every time but we still have days with them. We have five though so I'm not sure I notice when one or two aren't around anymore though.

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