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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

When to remove body hair ...and which way is the best?

10 replies

DelicateQ · 25/07/2011 00:28

Dd is 11 and is developing fast.

She has pretty much flew through the 'buds' stage and has very definite breasts now. She has also started to develop 'fluffy' pubic hair.
I think periods are very imminent tbh.

The thing is, she swims and dances and needs to wear costumes/leotards, so not only does the under-arm hair need to go, she has to be very careful of 'spiders legs', when they start to become a problem.

What is the best way to encourage her to remove the hair? ...and when is the best time to start? (she's keen to remove it)

Also, when do spiders legs generally become a problem? Dd has asked and I really can't remember

(also posted this in the teenage section)

OP posts:

TheMitfordsMaid · 25/07/2011 00:35

Well, I did all those things as a child and it was never an issue. Did you know MN is campaigning to let girls be girls?

Original poster

DelicateQ · 25/07/2011 00:42

Yes, I'm aware of that campaign.

Can I just ask, did you want to remove your body hair at that age?

My dd wants to remove it when it becomes noticeable. That is what I'm seeking advice on.

Please don't think that I'm holding her down in the bathroom manically waving a razor around, because I can assure you that I'm not.

Thanks for the input though ...

OP posts:

pinkyp · 25/07/2011 00:46

I remember my mum showing me how to use a razor, think I was about 11 for under arms and about 12/13 for legs. Once you start doing legs they go from fluffy hair to sharpe prickly hair so i'd say def hang on til u feel she'll be ok keeping up with doing her legs on a regular basis. Why not just let her do under arm for now?

Original poster

DelicateQ · 25/07/2011 00:46

I've just re-read my OP and can see where you're coming from ...

I should have said more clearly, that the idea to remove the hair, is hers, and hers alone.

OP posts:

Original poster

DelicateQ · 25/07/2011 00:49

X-posts there

Thanks pinky.

OP posts:

pinkyp · 25/07/2011 00:55

I forgot to say in year 8 at high school was when my hairy legs needed shaving! My mum wouldn't let me, much to my emaressement! She did eventually cave in not long after luckly! I still have horrible memorys of it.

Theas18 · 26/07/2011 16:21

Replied in teenage section. Mixed feelings about this as my DD already had enough on her plate with proper boobs by 9 that shaving her armpits so she didn't feel self concious when splashing around the pool like a lunatic being a little girl didn't seem like any big deal.

She's now just 12 and isn't a heavily made up lolita, she's still a girl - just a girl with boobs, hairy pits and legs that she chooses to shave, and periods that she copes fine with (though I laughed hollowly when we got "the " letter about the menstruation talk- she , and several others in her class could have given that talk themselves!).

DelicateQ is your DD going to use tampons for swimming or has she not even thought about it? Worth having a chat because if she wants to try she can even from her 1st period if it's an inconvenient time training wise. Much easier to talk now rather than when she's balling her eyes out at the unfairness of it all and that she is going to miss training or what ever.

Original poster

DelicateQ · 26/07/2011 21:49

That's exactly how it is with dd Thea.

She does sport with a lot of other girls - some older, some younger and many the same age. She is more developed than all of those who are the same age as her, and she is extremely conscious of it. The thought of hairy pits and her friends laughing really upsets her

I will help her to remove it, regardless of what anyone else thinks. I'm a little upset by the response from TMM tbh. My dd is no less of a 'girl' because of bodily hair, in fact if anything, she wants to remove it so that she stays more of a 'girl'.

Physically she is a young woman. Emotionally, she's just not quite there yet.

We have spoken lots over the last few months about tampons. She isn't overly keen on the idea, God love her, but she does understand the advantages. I am encouraging her to give it a go when she starts her period as she's seen the struggles some of the older girls have when they can't join in

OP posts:

canyou · 26/07/2011 22:17

Could she try those hair removal pads these might be easier then a razor and less harsh then a cream

CeliaFate · 27/07/2011 16:52

My dd's the same - very hairy legs, starting growth underarms, pubic hair. She's not bothered by it yet, but when she mentions it I'm going to buy Veet hair removal cream and help her to apply it.
I think they've improved since the really pongy ones in the early 80s and it's not dangerous, like a razor.
Let girls be girls is just what you doing. You're not removing the hair so she can wear a mini skirt and heels! Just to stop other people commenting on her appearance when she's in leotards/swimsuit. Don't worry about it.
HTH

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