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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

Please tell me some positive teenage dd stories

15 replies

ThatllDoPig · 15/06/2011 16:20

My dd is 11, and still very little girly, although there are definate signs occaisionally that change is on the way. I find I am surrrounded by negativity and raised eyebrows whenever the teenage years are discussed. She seems a bit scared when we talk about it, and I can see why when there is so little culturally which seems good news about being a teenager. I don't want to dread it!

Tell me some good stuff!

OP posts:
LieInsAreRarerThanTigers · 15/06/2011 16:31

Yes tell me too! My dd is 11 and very teenagery at times, though still pre-pubescent. I find it difficult to find things to praise her for - I am always about to try to say something positive when she floors me with some super-hurtful remark, or I find yet another item abused, broken, taken, left in a mess etc. She winds me up something rotten.

On the plus side, other people tell me how lovely she is, and she helps the neighbour with her 3 children going swimming once a week. The neighbour has now offered her (through me) pocket money for this, and she was actually going to refuse it! So I have not lost all hope. Just most of my hair... Smile

cybbo · 15/06/2011 16:33

It IS good, but you've got to hang onto the good bits. Yes they can be moody, rude, messy uncooperative, and more selfish than they've ever been since birth

BUT they are also capable of great conversation, big responsibility and independence and having a great time with their friends without boring farty parents hanging around

keep the channels of communication open so you ahve a least an inkling of whats going on with her

GetOrf · 15/06/2011 16:35

Teenage years are the best. I found the whole preteens bit (from 10-12) utterly tedious, however that may have had something to do with High School Musical.

My dd is 15 and she has been great - teenagers are great fun, it is by far (for me) the best bit of parenting.

It's great fun. For instance dd and I are going out for dinner this Thursday at a decent restaurant, and will watch a film afterwards (something non-disney). Teens are great company.

But it is fucking expensive. Grin

BelleEnd · 15/06/2011 16:36

Most teenage girls I know are lovely people :)

When I was a teenager, my mother and I became close in a totally different way to when I was a child- We'd have days out together, she taught me to cook properly, she was firm with me but gave me freedom too. I remember her saying that it was a lovely time, and though I did have the ocassional Kevin moment, we became closer as friends as well as mother and daughter. Unfortunately she died very young, but I treasure those memories of my teens- We had a blast together! :)

My young cousin is nearly fifteen, looks twenty, and is a joy. She is sensible, funny, courteous and kind, and though she's messy, she is great with her parents. I think a lot of it is down to how she was dealt with at 11-12 when she started getting hormonal- They weren't expecting her to be a nightmare, so she wasn't IYKWIM.

KatieScarlett2833 · 15/06/2011 16:38

My DD aged 11-14 was an absolute mare.

She is now almost 16 and an utter darling.

angelpantser · 15/06/2011 16:45

I have a teenage DD and a-soon-to-be-teenage DD. Both are wonderful.

They are incredibly kind and patient with their little brother (4). We have a reasonable division of chores and they receive pocket money (DD2) and payment of phone contract (DD1) in return. They love watching the same TV programmes as me and even better, remember to record them for me if I'm out. They are independent when getting ready for school, dance classes etc and I can rely on them to let me concentrate on DS during the morning mad panic. They are polite and well mannered and not just outside our home. They have a fantastic sense of fun and my older DD is discovering going to concerts without the mortification of having her mum tag along.

School work does get harder in the teenage years but there is still plenty of fun time to be had. They have their moments but they are infrequent - as long as we all ignore untidy bedrooms.

BitOfFun · 15/06/2011 17:16

I think it doesn't necessarily have to be grim- it helps if you are a reasonable person yourself of course! I haven't had any really major issues with my 15 year old- she is polite and cheerful and works hard, always has done. I give her a decent amount of freedom, and we chat a lot- she's great company. It's a two-way street.

motherinferior · 15/06/2011 17:20

My friend's 13 year old rang up last week to speak to me...because she and her younger sister were organising a surprise birthday party for their mum.

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers · 15/06/2011 17:25

Agree about being good company at times - we are going to Camp Bestival together without the 'boys' and I do usually enjoy her when we are alone together. She is pretty horrible to her 6 yo brother though, which is another of the main bugbears of our relationship.

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers · 15/06/2011 17:28

Well of course I am reasonable!
Would be able to ignore untidy bedroom if she didn't have half the towels we own in there going mouldy and if she didn't shout at me for not washing the required item of clothing when it is in fact buried under some mouldering towels on her floor...

pointydog · 15/06/2011 17:32
  1. Teenagers are a lot more independent which means that you get a lot more freedom. So no more childcare, rushing home to pick them up, shelling out the big bucks.
  1. They are such good company. You laugh, gossip, go shopping, watch decent films instead of U garbage, go out for the evening.
  1. They do things for you. Sometimes.
GetOrf · 15/06/2011 17:35

Teenagers are (well, mine is) in general very, very funny. I love it when dd has friends aournd and there are gales of laughter all around.

Also, it is really nice to be there to witness the start of an adult life iyswim. My dd has a couple of things she is really passionate about, it is really lovely to be there to see these passions start and develop over time.

The pretty much constant refrain of 'mum, I am hungry' and 'muuuuuum can I borrow a tenner' are tiresome, however Grin

BitOfFun · 15/06/2011 17:37

Ah, the towels, yes, we have that. I don't stress about that kind of thing though really. And she is very good at doing her own laundry, so if I notice that the towel heap has diminished I just joke with her about it if I am so inclined, and ask her to put them in the wash, which she does happily enough. Don't make everything a battle, it is often just not that important.

crazynanna · 15/06/2011 17:42

Well.this is my last teen,so I intend to get my own back on the other two Grin
My favourite,I burst into DD's room full of her 'peeps',singing Al Green with full effect of warbling voice and nodding head!
DD is mortified. I think it is rather funny.

Fennel · 17/06/2011 10:21

my 3 dds are all pre-teen but I am surrounded by a lot of really rather lovely teenage girls. I have 4 charming teenage nieces, they all get on well with their parents, do various interesting things, behave well in general. And we meet a lot through the youth group I run, again many of these teenagers are fantastic, and it gives me hope for mine as they get a bit older.

So many teenagers don't fit the stereotypes.

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