Settling in tactics

[chipmunkswhereareyou]

Ds (3) has been going to a day nursery very part time for the last two years. He started at a new preschool yesterday. He is a sensitive little chap and wants me to stay at the moment. The environment is much busier, bigger and more manic, and weirdly less structured than his day nursery room was.

The teacher encourages parents to stay until such time as a child starts wandering off alone around the room - even if it takes days and days of visits together.

But I feel that my ds now knows that if he keeps asking me to stay I will. Surely it would be better for me to reassure him he will be looked after, explain who to ask for what and then go quickly but reassure him I will be back soon?

Um challenging. I think I agree with you. You know your child best.

Maybe you can have a time limit and a gradual withdrawal (esp if the teacher is so ameanable). Maybe say the first few days you will stay then next few days you go after one hour and then third week half an hour or leave him.

If he adapts more rapidly then leave earlier (but tell him).

I think the agreement you both reach is key. Whatever I would tell the teacher what I plan to do and be clear that is what you intend to do because this is an agreement between you and dd.

Certainly whatever I say I am going to do I would stick with and not be influenced overly by behaviour if you have had a prior calm discussion.

I actually like the teachers approach in some ways...

Thanks MLM. He was a fair bit more confident today and I left for quite a few short periods and was out of sight so I think tomorrow we'll try for longer.