Did I make a huge error with my daughters application

[Sofshiz]

I need some reassurance as driving myself crazy.

My dd recently had an assessment for a competitive independent school nursery. Today while I went to visit another local nursery, for some stupid reason it came out of my mouth while speaking to the head teacher that put dd had just had the assessment at the other school and we were awaiting results.

Now I've just come to a horrid realisation that the head at the second nursery could go and make an anon call to the other school and say something bad to prevent our dd getting in and thus us going with his school instead.

Do you think this is possible? Is there anything I could do to fix it? I liked his school and would like my dd to go there if she doesn't pass the assessment for the other school but I obviously would prefer her to pass and go to our first choice.

How huge of an error do you think I made? Is there anything I can do to fix it? Do you think the second head would do that and jepordise our daughters chance by making an anon call?

Why on earth would he do that? And what do you think he would say? You are somewhat overthinking this.

Seriously overthinking! What in heaven’s name would his motivation for that be?

And in the deeply unlikely event that he did why do you think an independent school would take someone anonymously badmouthing a three year old seriously? She’ll either meet their standards or she won’t.

Calm down, she’s just little.

I'm glad to hear you say that. I don't know what he would say, he could make anything up. He knows our names and details from our application to his school. I hope you're right and that I am over thinking this. I just suddenly had this horrible thought.

We've put so much into trying to make our first choice happen including moving house to be closer to the school. I just can't believe what a bad error I made today. Feel sick

@cavender I suppose in my over thinking mind I was thinking he is motivated by school fees since they don't select through an assessment. You're right, I hope and pray that the school which I have so much love and hope for wouldn't make a decision based on an anonymous call.

She is just little, you're so right.

It’s not a “bad” error. It’s not any kind of error.

Why would you think he would be that desperate to have your particular child in his school? Does he have trouble filling places?

Your scenario involves him deliberately slandering your child.

So he’d be risking a criminal charge and the loss of professional reputation (and job) just to have one particular little girl attend his school?

That doesn’t make any kind of sense.

Sof the fact that he doesn’t select probably mean he has no problem filling his spaces and quite happily gets the pupils who don’t get accepted at your first choice.

Your conversation with him was all kinds of normal.

He’s not the demon headmaster.

@cavender I could hug you through my phone screen right now for typing some sense into me. Thank you. You're most likely right and I'm probably going crazy in the midst of lack of sleep and baby night feeds.

To answer your questions, he certainly doesn't have trouble filling the school and the school has amazing reviews and rightly so as it's so lovely. And my daughter alone doesn't make any difference to his school at all.

Thank you again! Mumsnet was more helpful than my sleeping husband who just said "what's done is done" and went back to sleep leaving me to panic in my own thoughts even more.

Is your dd some kind of prodigy? Unless there is some special kudos for him in "poaching" her from the other school, I really wouldn't worry.

In the kindest way possible, I think you need to step back a bit and realize how silly you sound! If the head acted strangely after your "slip" it was probably only because you reacted strangely first.

JemimaLovesHamble Certainly not, she's just a normal 3 year old.

Thank you, you've all actually been immensely helpful in basically telling me to take a chill pill at 2am. Xx

"Now I've just come to a horrid realisation that the head at the second nursery could go and make an anon call to the other school and say something bad to prevent our dd getting in and thus us going with his school instead."

This kind of behaviour would be highly unethical, possibly illegal! No headteacher would risk their job to do this, IMHO.

I'm glad other posters have put your mind at rest.

I'm a bit baffled by this! Have I missed something? Why on earth would a preschool head teacher anonymously call another preschool to try and stop your kid going there?! What on earth was your "bad error" - making normal conversation with the head about other places you are looking st?
If you honestly believe the head teacher is someone who would cruelly jeapordise a child's chances or getting another school by making an anon call and slandering them, why would you even consider putting your child in that person's care?!
Unless the world of private schools is significantly different to the real world, even the notion of this is bonkers.
Are you a celebrity? Is there a reason all these schools would be fighting over your daughter to the point of unethical and possibly illegal practise?

I think you may have lost some perspective on the life of your three year old. I cannot imagine that the second school would be so desperate to have your daughter at their school that they would behave in this manner. Is she a musical prodigy ? A maths genius ? If not I cannot see any reason for the second teacher to feel any thing other than mild offence that you so clearly preferred the first school.

Sof glad we’ve managed to talk you down from middle of the night madness!

It’s only 9:40pm where I am so I’m still (mostly) operating on full power.

These decisions feel huge just now, but honestly they aren’t really. A bright child with supportive interested parents will probably do pretty well in any reasonable school.

Her future won’t be made or broken by the school she gets into at 3yo. I promise.

Honestly, it will all be well.

Go back to sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.

Well, I manage a preschool and most days I'm far too busy to even go to the loo, never mind ringing round the competition to slander a 3 year old

This might be the craziest thing I’ve ever read on here.

OP, do you genuinely think the Head regularly goes around badmouthing three year olds, or do you think there’s something so amazing about your child that will drive the Head to taking this step?

I’m astounded at your thought process here.