Crap pre school

[Anxiousone30]

So I attempted to send my DD to pre-school a couple of mornings per week, when she was just under 3. She wasn't happy, communication was appalling/non-existent. She regressed with using the toilet, she was trained already. Basically it was crap.

We live somewhere very rural, it's the only place I can send DD, I don't feel like I want to. She tells me she never wants to go back. She's very bright and sociable and I don't want to hold her back, but I also don't want to send her. I am educated but I'm not a teacher. Not sure I would know how to assist her with 'keeping up' with other children, although for her age I feel that she is ahead currently.

I basically don't want to screw her up so she's scared to go to school when the time comes! Thoughts please?

Oh bless her heart. Could you explore what resources are out there so you could home educate her for now. I bet there are heaps of nursery activities you could do with your DS that would be hugely beneficial and most importantly prepare her to join school a little later on. There are probably networks of home educators so you could arrange meet ups so your DS has lots of opportunities to socialise. I'm not sure whether that's of any help but I'm are there are plenty of others who can assist. Good luck!

Thank you for replying. I would be happy to do things with the correct resources, i'm sure you're right. It's just knowing where to begin when you have no idea.

There are definitely not any HE families around here. I live in an extremely small place (not UK). The only people who home educate (around their beliefs) are a particular religious community, which I'm not a part of.

It's quite difficult really as everyone else here seems to accept the less than acceptable pre school. People look at me like I'm mad, when they ask why I took my DD out. The children literally seem to run around shouting, it's chaos. I wasn't allowed to stay to help my DD settle in, despite the fact that she was scared, kept being 'smacked' when I left (she told me). She's very confident and articulate, doesn't get pushed around usually....Other than that, I had no idea what she did all morning. The woman in charge said she's happy, my DD tells me otherwise. I felt as if I was being lied to on a few occasions.

You know your DD better than anyone so follow your instincts. Tbh it's sounds absolutely awful. I think if I were you I'd focus on a bit of research online the type of activities a nursery would normally do and introduce them at home, ordering items from eBay etc. I'd also research (Google is your friend ) online home education forums. Just a rudimentary search shows lots. Finally, since there are no HE's near you, focus on the online resources for practical help but then do outside activities at your nearest town for things like swimming, perhaps places where there are animals, mum and toddler groups, reading groups. You'll probably find that you're not the only parent who feels like this and then maybe you can eventually meet some other parents via your other activities and you could arrange meet ups/ coffee mornings etc. Right must get some sleep I'm in the UK 🌚💤💤💤

Please don't leave her somewhere she isn't comfortable if your able to keep her off. Try looking at eyfs (early years foundation stage) Facebook groups and websites for ideas of the kinds of things you can do that are play based learning eg. imagination tree
ace early years
And pinterest is brilliant too!

Go with her interests- if she likes being outdoors go for nature hunts, count how many yellow flowers you can collect and then use them to create a collage type picture. If she likes playing in a toy kitchen use real scales to weigh ingredients for baking so she can learn about larger numbers and then decorate something delicious at the end!

Thanks both. I won't send her, I know I can't. I have to go with my gut instinct and it's a very resounding NO.

I will look up some HE groups. I joined one a while ago for preschool UK education and they deleted me when I mentioned I wasn't in the UK! I'm sure there are more out there.

We are both quite sociable and see plenty of people and attend a group sometimes. Perhaps I am doing more than I think, as seeing a lot of points in writing, I realise I'm already doing a more than I thought I was. We do measuring (cakes), counting, alphabet, numbers, crafts and art. I go with what she feels like doing that day. I'm also planning on taking her to more activities when they start up in September.

I am lucky enough to be in a position to have my DD at home with me also, she doesn't have to attend preschool. I think I'm seen a snob for not sending her there. I would rather she was happy and comfortable than forced into something as it's seen as the norm in this community.

Thank you again, it's nice to hear others hold a similar viewpoint to my own.

I agree you are best not to send her. You will be helping her develop much better at home as long as you are involving her in life and not just sticking her in front on TV all day which is clearly not what you'd do from the way you write! O second the imagination tree website and just do what takes your fancy aand interests your DD go with her current crazes. That's all there is to it really. Read to her and make sure she gets to play with some other children every now and then at the park busy time or whatever. At four, they start to want friends so you do need to find a little person she can hang out with when they are available. Well done for not just following the crowd and doing the best for her.

What age do they start school where you are?

In the UK preschool is absolutely not necessary because they start school at 4 and reception is very play based.

So how old are they when they start school and how gentle is the first year?

But in the uk I'd say you do t need to do anything beyond normal parenting.

Thanks TheOddity, that makes me feel better about my decision. She loves her friends already and sees her friends a lot, as I'm friends with their Mums. TV isn't banned, but yes she does plenty of other activities and plays lots at home. She has a lot of toys and really enjoys her alphabet letters and looking through books. We are definitely not short on resources.

SaltyMyDear they start at age 5, it's a lot more relaxed than the UK from
What I understand, although we will
Probably be back in the UK full time before then.

Actually, age 5 is Kindergarten so Grade 1 would be age 6