Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

Flip

Original poster

Should I say something

11 replies

happybiggirl · 31/12/2006 19:15

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

hippmummy · 31/12/2006 19:21

I think this is typical of the age and not serious enough to warrant a complaint by you to the teacher.
However, your dd needs to know you have taken her seriously.
Maybe encourage her to tell the teacher next time the girl is mean to her so it can be sorted out on the spot.

Original poster

happybiggirl · 31/12/2006 19:25

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

hippmummy · 31/12/2006 19:33

I know how you feel - my ds is 3 and sometimes comes home saying 'so-and-so said I wasn't allowed play with the cars'.
Makes me want to go and fight his battles for him and protect him from the world, but kids are kids.
As long as it doesn't become anything nastier I wouldn't get involved.
They'll probably be best friends in a week

Twiglett · 31/12/2006 19:44

totally disagree .. I think you should talk to the teacher but not to make it a big deal just in a kind of 'oh dd said ....."

see what teacher says .. it might be 50: 50 or she might not be aware of anything happening or dd might be commenting on something that happened at end of day when she's been playing happily all day with said child

name-calling is not nice .. why should anyone have to put up with it .. and a 4 year old should certainly have it made clear that it is unacceptable as hitting

flack · 31/12/2006 19:49

Agree with Twiglett. Just say your DD isn't unhappy and explain what she said. Let the preschool take it from there.

hippmummy · 31/12/2006 20:23

Not disputing that name calling is upsetting - kids can be very mean to each other.

However, I think it's important that children learn that parents are not the sole point of authority and if something happens at school, should be encouraged to trust the teacher to deal with it.

Obviously if teacher is not sorting things out that is a different issue, and the parent needs to step in.

Teacher friends I have often say that parents are too quick to complain about an incident their child mentions, when it has already been dealt with in the classroom.

Original poster

happybiggirl · 31/12/2006 20:34

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

juuule · 31/12/2006 20:39

I agree with twig and flack. Have a word with the teacher to find out what's going on.

hippmummy · 01/01/2007 09:26

Yes,I also agree that if its a continuing issue and the staff aren't dealing with it you have to say something.

Pablothelittleredfox · 01/01/2007 09:30

I agree with Twiglett - I'd mention it too but in a casual 'it's probably nothing, kids are kids but just wanted to point it out so that you are aware/have you noticed anything' kind of way.

I know kids are kids but I suppose I'd just want to be sure the teacher was aware just in case it was going to escalate into something.

Also, imo, these first couple of years in foundation stage are pretty key - it's all about learning how to cope in school etc and if kids are going to reach their potential I think they need to be happy at school. I wouldn't want anything to jeopardise that so I'd highlight even though it most probably is just one of those things. I wouldn't want my child's confidence knocking at this point if I could do something to avoid it.

Pablothelittleredfox · 01/01/2007 09:34

As for being too quick to complain - you're not really complaining, just raising an issue and if you do it in a casual way and they reassure you quickly then that's it over with there and then.

It sounds to me though as if it is causing your dd quite a bit of anxiety if she is talking about it outside of school and she's thinking about whether someone will be her friend if she gets certain boots. At 4 that's and if it was my child I'd want to make sure it was addressed.

OTOH, I'd also be talking to my dd about how some people can be unkind, and perhaps she might prefer to play with someone who was nicer. I'd try to boost her confidence by saying what a lovely child she is etc etc and I'd try to divert her away from this name caller.

Flip