DS2 told off at nursery

[AbbyR1973]

Not really sure what to do with this if anything. DS2 (4 years old) said to me today that during his morning session at nursery he was told by a nursery teacher that he was the worst little boy she had ever known and
needed to go back to baby
room. He says he was also told by the same person that he was a stupid boy. He's never mentioned anything like this before and it would be an odd thing for Hinton pick up. I asked him if he'd been naughty or told off for some reason and he said no. I was told at pick up he'd been good. There is a group of little boys that can muck about a bit and he is one them. I phoned nursery to check if he'd been naughty or told off for some reason and they said he'd been fine no trouble. I said I only wanted to know because I guessed he'd only given me half the story or misinterpreted something but they couldn't think what had happened. I feel a bit uncomfortable about it all. Any thoughts?

Nobody should tell a child they are stupid or bad. They can criticise behaviour though. I'd definitely talk to nursery for clarification.

If they don't remember anything then it probably didn't happen

Kids say all sorts of crap.

He is hearing that phrase from somewhere. If it's not nursery, is it in the home, friends, relatives, tv?

It's just an odd thing for him to make up and he was very specific about who said it. At home we would talk about behaviour being unacceptable, time out etc but the other phrases are not something he would have heard at home. I was thinking maybe he's misunderstood something that was said as the nursery is very lovely. The person in question is new at the nursery. I'm not planning Togo any further with this at the moment I don't think- a watching brief and if anything else happens I will speak to the manager.

You must trust your child. Initially I would believe him and follow it up through management especially if its not the usual language you use at home and that it sounds like he has no previous incidents of making things up. Its often thought that children make things up but things like this can happen, take it from me as I have experience of this happening myself. She might seem lovely to you but you dont know that 100%. You cant go wrong by asking nursery about it as if they were responsible they should want to know if there are any issues. Hope your sons ok now.

Does this member of staff greet him warmly? Is he happy to go to her in the mornings?

A child (4) in my class told his Mum that I put him on the naughty step for 15 minutes & that I told him he was very naughty. We don't even have a naughty step, I never use the word naughty & if I did he is not a child that would ever hear it! What actually happened is he said something unkind to a friend, I overheard & pointed out that his friend was upset, and could he think of a way to make things right. I do know the child was embarrassed at having been 'caught' so he made up this fib, because I guess he felt naughty.

I'm pleased this Mum came to tell me though- makes me dread what other things they say that we never hear about!

So if things seem otherwise reasonable & he is generally happy to be around her- perhaps just mention to her what he said & see how she reacts?

I think I am going to have to ask what happened. DS has to date been very happy at nursery and talks in very positive terms about all the staff their. I understand this member of staff is new (or new to him.) Since Weds he has mentioned several times that he doesn't like this person. She isn't usually the person who answers the door at nursery so I haven't been able to observe their interactions.
To start with part of me thought well he's finishing soon anyway and hopefully there's nothing in it- I was planning as I said to keep a bit of an eye and see if anything else happened.
I think though I've had a change of heart:

1. Hopefully it's all a misunderstanding on DS's part and if so I can properly explain to him what happened so he doesn't feel worried by this person.
2. If what he said is true this person could potentially continue her behaviour towards DS and other children (let's hope this is not the case.)
3. I was talking to my parents and we all agreed this is not something that DS would typically make up. My Dad asked whether there could be any racist motivation (background: DS is mixed race as I'm white and father is black Caribbean. He is the only child in the nursery of a non-white background.) Whilst I think this is unlikely, and have never come across such a reaction to DS's before, IF this person did speak to DS this way it is hard to imagine someone who works with children taking a random dislike to a child. In all likelihood if I ask what happened, my mind will be put at rest.

Definitely keep us updated!

If she is new- she is probably on probation, so really should be aiming for best practice & doing her best to be liked by everyone.

In any case, whether your child's perception of what happened is accurate or not- the fact that he feels uncomfortable around this lady, for whatever reason, is valid and she needs to do something to resolve it.

It seems unlikely to me that that was ever said. It sounds a bit like a line he might have picked up from a story. There are, I know, quite a lot of picture books about very naughty children getting their just deserts!

That being said, I'd be keeping a close eye out.