35 weeker in scbu not really coping any experiences ?

[Onthedowns]

Hi all given birth to a beautiful boy yesterday dead on 35 weeks doing well just feeding tube and trying to establish feeding! But struggling with trying to express only getting a dribble of colostrum and feeling a failure. On a ward with lots of women and their babies whilst mine is next door! Felt OK yesterday but I am likely to be discharged in a day or so and he will be here for another week or so.?He is 2nd DC as have little girl at home. I am terrified of leaving him and petrified that I also feel so disjointed ! And guilty as I will be going home with other DC too! Anyone share their experiences?

My DS was in SCBU for 3 weeks (born at 32+2).

I struggled desperately trying to express for the first 3 days, then suddenly on day 4, it all kind of came together & I had 2 pumps going.

BUT, if you can't do it, you can't do it. Don't give yourself any additional stress or worry.

I've only had one, so don't know if it took me longer to bond, but it certainly hasn't caused me any problems at all.

Please don't feel guilty, your DS is exactly where he needs to be & he'll be home with you very, very soon.

Thank you so much one minute I am fine the next I feel like having a big old cry! I know there are much more poorly babies in there but it's horrid thinking of leaving him it's a surreal feeling not like when I had my daughter !

Ahhh you'll be fine. Mine were in for a month. I sobbed and sobbed the night before I went home and had to leave them there. But I visited every day, kept up with the expressing (pathetic little amounts!), and eventually they came out and I breastfed for 13 months. We totally bonded, and of course they don't remember a thing about it as they grow up.

He's been in your tummy for months and months, he knows you're his mummy You'll be fine Be kind to yourself, rest whenever you can.

My twins were born at 30+5 and were in NICU for six weeks. It is really hard and I too had worries about leaving them behind when I was discharged and the impact that would have on bonding.

I made sure I was there every day for as long as I could and as much skin to skin as possible. I was lucky in that my milk came in on day three and I was able to pump easily but I would suggest trying to pump next to the incubator or cot if you can. Our unit had screens you could put up for privacy and it helped my supply by being close to them.

The thing to try and do is not feel guilty though I know that's easy to say! My girls came home just before Christmas and our NICU stay now feels like a distant memory. We have an excellent bond and be comforted by the knowledge that they'll never remember they were apart from you!

Don't feel guilty OP from our time in the NICU it was generally the mums of the pretty much term babies who were hardest hit, I think psychologically you have the emotional reserves to spare, and you were so close to the finish line of a healthy normal pregnancy so it's more of a shock. When it all goes tits up six months into pregnancy and your baby barely looks human (sorry DD!), you tend to just go numb. Hope things are getting easier and you're out soon X

Thanks all not really coping. My boy is doing well just waiting to see if he will latch on and feed! My expressing is terrible only getting 10-20ml each time!!! This is stressing me out! I hadn't finished work this is stressing me out!! I am irritable with dd this is bad also!

10-20mls on day two is fantastic! Just keep going, if he needs top ups to get him strong enough to come home it's both e end of the world. Fingers crossed he will feed direct from you when he is a bit stronger and your milk will be in by then. Please try not to beat yourself up your doing a great job!

10-20mls is great guns! Barley water by the bucketful, breast massage and expressing at least ten times a day (12 was best of all) worked the magic for us. It was worth it when she finally latched on six weeks later (she was a 27 weeker) and she ended up feeding til she was two!! Not what I had planned.

I sobbed my way through 8 days in SCBU. All those hormones crashing around, and no sleep, and expressing around the clock. I just wanted to go home. Then they sent me home without my son and I cried even harder.

Be kind to yourself. It's ok to give formula top ups if the expressing gets too much. My son (born at 36 weeks with low birth weight) ended up being mixed fed up until around 9 months. Also I ended up giving him a bottle so I could get him home sooner. Breast feeding is great but sometimes premies who can't suckle and stimulate supply need a bit extra.

Good luck. Once you get your baby home it'll seem like a distant memory.

Thanks all I am getting more! But I between running backwards and forwards to hospital, looking after dd, trying to eat sleep drink wash etc No way can I do 10 times a day! He is latching on but not for long but little steps. If it gets to formula stage I won't beat myself up he's had two weeks of breast feeding and what I can express

Hi my baby boy was born at 26 weeks. We spent 191 days in the NICU. It's normal to only get a few drops of colostrum in the 1st 3 days. Wait till day 4 & your milk will come in properly. Drink plenty, eat properly & try to sleep when you can. If you don't drink enough it will effect your milk supply. Make sure you express 3hrly & throughout the night too. As at night when you express it makes your body produce more hormones much more than in the daytime. My boy is 8 months old now & although he's still on optiflow ( assisted ventilation ) at least we're home. Try to stay relaxed & enjoy your boy as they grow so fast. Good luck my lovely. Xox

Just wondering how your baby is doing now? Just given birth to a 35+1 weeker too

Hi, my DS was in for 6.5 weeks at 30.1. My word, I beat myself up about carrying this pitiful pipette of collustrum into the ward and felt I was depriving my baby.

The nurses told me to go and have a really big meal (and a glass of wine - that was 7 years ago) and relax . So went to GBK and had the biggest burger and a lovely glass of red. The next morning I was spurting out. It will come.

In terms of bonding - I would say we were a little over-bonded with him not being able to leave my side for the first 3 years.

SCBU is an experience that nobody prepares you for. Throw in the emotions and you are on the worst roller coaster of your life.

I gave birth Jan 4 2017 to a 33+3 day boy. Due to placental abruption caused by pre-eclampsia, he hadnt grown since 31 weeks and the medical team performed an emergency C section. I've just been discharged today and just can't cope. I feel guilty for not being able to keep him warm and safe in my womb for the full term. I feel so guilty leaving him in between all those tubes and lights while I'm home. He's on glucose so he can't even drink breast milk. I've been expressing for him but the NICU team is reluctant to overwhelm him system. His lungs need help and he's bleeding internally. How do I not go absolutely crazy?

Oh nirbachi it's so hard, my DD was in nicu, born at 32 weeks.

You don't go crazy because you can't, your son needs you to visit!

We have some of the best neonatal doctors and nurses in the world, he's in the very best hands.

Spend as much time there as you can, take each step and day as it comes.

Best of luck for you and your boy

How are you doing now, nirbachi?

My ds was born at 36 weeks and we were allowed to stay in a family room on scbu, I appreciate he was barely premature and we were only in for a week but he struggled with feeding, low blood sugars and had severe jaundice. Would it be possible for you to ask if a room is available? It really helped as I had 1-1 support bf and I didnt lose that bond as he was allowed to stay in an incubator having light therapy next to my bed.

Sorry just seen this post is 6 mo

Actually a year, ignore me. Hope you are all well.

Yesterday is really early days. It will just be a tiny dribble at the moment - at least it was for me. The nurses were delighted with my meagre offerings. Don't be despondent. No matter how little it is, it is invaluable for ds and within a few days your milk will come in.

Aargh - zombie thread