I’ve booked for a medical termination and my head in spinning. I think I just need to write it all down if that’s okay.
Im on contraception which has failed.
We are financially struggling. I have 3 children who I’m working 2 jobs to provide for alongside my husband who’s working 50hrs a week. We are able to pay our bills but nothing more. No holidays. All our days out are free. Have debt. Have no financial buffer or savings.
Due to working so much I have no idea how I would give all of my children enough time and energy plus a baby.
I had just started doing things for me as my
youngest has just started school. I’m terrified of being trapped in the house with a baby or toddler for 3 years. I do not enjoy having young children at all.
I have no family help with a child or my existing children.
Im in my late 30s and have all of the risks associated with that.
My oldest is struggling at school and with feelings of being left out because of or by the younger children. I am worried another will cause more problems.
I have had hyperemesis 3 times and struggled with each pregnancy. I also had quite a lot of post birth damage after the second and third.
My house isn’t equipt for a 4th child. It would mean the children sharing rooms etc which isn’t the end of the world but may cause problems as they get older. I would also need a bigger car as can’t fit them all in.
I know the reasons seem trivial. How do I get past the guilt when I know it’s the right decision? My husband is in agreement that a 4th is too much for us but it’s ultimately my decision as it’s my body.