Just do not know what to do

[ANXIETYCC]

Just found out I am pregnant today. Absolutely not planned. Made a stupid mistake and took the morning after pill which clearly didn’t work. I am late thirties. I have two beautiful, perfect children. I am married - we have gone through a real rough patch but on the whole love each other. We have a decent sized house in a lovely area with great schools. We have a strong network and lots of support.

But I am terrified. I am an anxious person. And I feel whatever I choose to do will be wrong.

If I keep it - could there be health issues, postpartum depression, could I cope, would my older kids be ok, would they resent me, my body will go through all of this again…. They are 8 and 5…. Would the age gap be too big? How would I keep everyone happy? My husband has to travel for work.

If I terminate - could I ever forgive myself. What if. I know a couple of other friends and family members who have just found out they are pregnancy after much wanted waits…. They would all be due similar times. Would I ever be able to look at their babies the same knowing I could have also had one?

I am petrified. Please be kind. No judgement on marriage or stupidity but please any advice on having three kids, having more babies in your late thirties, how your other kids found it… how you found it. Honesty and hopefully positivity with whatever you decided xx

If you're not sure, I wouldn't do it - certainly don't rush into it when you've only just found out. Give yourself as much time as you possibly feel comfortable with. Don't keep it to yourself - talk to others. Once you make your decision, focus on it and stick to it, don't let yourself look back in the other direction. I do think sometimes it's easy to focus on the negatives of a baby, but don't forget they can bring happiness too - don't make a decision from a place of panic. Trust yourself that even if it feels bad you will make the best decision for this time and that there is no right or wrong decision.