Waiting for my pills to arrive 😭

[TooOldToBePregnant]

Hi, I’m in total shock to find myself in this forum! On Sunday I took a pregnancy test after my period failed to arrive and to my surprise it was positive 😭. I’m currently 5 weeks and 5 days based on when my last period started but I know exactly when I must have conceived which was just over 3 weeks ago.

After much googling and Mumsnetting, I was surprised to find out I could have a medical abortion through the post. I completed a form with MSI on Sunday night when I couldn’t sleep and then I read that they don’t cover every areas so I panicked and rang BPAS. The lady on the phone was lovely and took all my details and arrange a phone call for this morning. The MSI lady rang yesterday and sounded very bored and robotic. Anyway, I had a phone call with the nurse today who said I am suitable for the pills through the post and I am hoping to be able to take the first one on Monday morning and the 4 pills on Tuesday morning.

I know this is 100% the right decision, I’m 37 and DH is 45. We’re in horrible financial difficulties and we’ve had a really difficult few years but the end is in sight. This is just the icing on the cake! There’s no way we could go back to paying nursery fees. DS also starts his GCSE year next year and he’s more important.

the trouble is, in the meantime I can’t cope with feeling pregnant. My boobs are like cannonballs and I have sensory issues (I’m awaiting an ASD assessment) with my nipples (honestly I can barely type that word) and they are sticking out constantly. I also have a history of eating disorders and I feel like it’s always obvious I’m pregnant as I’m so bloated, even though it probably isn’t to anyone else. I’m having to eat dry, salty food to help stop me feeling sick which is a huge change to my usual very strict diet and I feel like I’m getting fatter and fatter. I also feel like I’m already losing the strength and flexibility to do the sport that brought me out of my most recent relapse in January.

I’m sorry if that sound vain and selfish, but I can’t cope with feeling this way even though I know it’ll be over soon. I feel like everyone can tell already.

Does anyone have any tips for how to cope with the wait. Or any tips for the day itself?

Thanks for reading my brain dump!

Hi. How are you doing? I totally get that feeling of losing control of your body and mind while pregnant. I hated it, really hated it. I had my medical abortion very recently at just shy of 8 week's pregnant. It was a really simple process. Not painless, but not awful either. The day you take your first pill should pass off without a hitch, all the action started on the second day when I inserted the other pills. Cramping, contraction type pains but passed the pregnancy within 4 hours and the pain stopped instantly. I felt an enormous sense of relief, almost euphoria at the time. I had awful daily sickness from 5 weeks and I just hated it, I couldn’t run, I felt podgy, and not motivated and generally crap about myself. The sickness had gone within 2 days of the MA. I was so thankful. Nothing you’ve said is vain or selfish. Different strokes for different folks. We all feel differently, process things differently, and have different circumstances, that’s how we come to make different decisions.

Try and keep yourself busy, good rest, good thoughts and know that you will have autonomy back by next week.

@MyUmberSeal thanks so much for your kind response. I feel reasonably OK today but I was hoping my tablet would arrive tomorrow so I could take the first one on Sunday afternoon and the second ones on Tuesday morning, but I haven’t had a tracking number yet so I guess they’ll arrive on Monday now or later. I just want it over with 😭. I’m weirdly looking forward to it just to get everything out of me! I’ve been feeling a bit sick in the morning and the bloating and sore boobs seems to come on in the evening and I’m so bloody hungry! I’m torn between wanting to give myself a break and not wanting eat loads and having to lose weight after. I can feel the eating disordered thoughts coming back after I’ve worked to hard to get back to some sort of normality so I can’t let this ruin things for me.

I’m glad yours went well and I can’t wait til I’m in your position!

I'm in exactly your position, just waiting atm, so no tried and tested advice yet I'm afraid.
But just wanted to say you're not vain or selfish at all, it's awful when your body feels like it doesn't belong to you, and everything is out of your control!
I've booked a couple of days off work for it and decided to lean into making myself comfortable in that time... snacks, drinks, takeout, painkillers, hot water bottles etc. Once it's over and the sickness ends I'll get a healthy shop delivered and prioritise walks and getting back to normal. I'm not even 7 weeks and already put on 2kg from crisps and lucozade! But in the grand scheme of things it's not loads and will be easily "fixed"... a lot of people fluctuate in a month anyway so try to be kind to yourself.
My doctor said the boobs and sickness are the first symptoms to go after taking the pills and I cannot wait!

Thanks @EmptySails do you know when your pills will arrive or are you going for a scan to get them?

Yesterday was horrendous, I had a volunteering commitment in the afternoon, only 2 hours and I was wiped out after! Then I had to go and watch the football and an evening event after that! I decided to be kind to myself and eat what I needed to keep going. I too am living off ready salted crisps to keep the sickness at bay.

I still haven’t had a delivery notification so I guess they’re not coming tomorrow either 😭. I really wanted to take them this afternoon to at least stop the pregnancy developing and complete it on Tuesday once DS had gone to school so I had the whole day to get through it.

OMG I’ll be so happy if the sore boobs and sickness go straight away!!

I'm going to hospital tomorrow, I've got a coil fitted which needs to be removed before I can take the tablets.
Really good to hear you're being kind to yourself, sounds like a hectic weekend and you won't do yourself any favours by depriving your body of whatever it's asking for. All of this is temporary and I feel like when you're carrying on with life like nothings happening on the outside, we need to up the self care and balance it out!
Hope you're managing to get some rest and that your tablets come soon

@EmptySails ahhh, I’d actually prefer that as at least you know exactly when it’ll happen and can plan for it. I still haven’t had a tracking number so it definitely won’t be today 😭. I’d hoped to have taken the first tablet last night. It’s a toss up between me receiving the pills or dying of salt poisoning right now as all I can eat is salted crisps 😭.

Argh I have completely crashed and burned at work today around 2:30 and I’m stuck here til 5:00 😭. Still no sign of my pills being sent and I’m really struggling with not knowing. It’s a rollercoaster this!

I had my phone appointment with MSI on a Thursday morning. Pills arrived two days later on the Saturday. This was last month. I live in the South East. They were sent via Royal Mail 48 hours tracked. I wasn’t given a tracking code or anything like that and don’t actually remember her saying how long I should expect to wait for them. I was shocked they came as quickly as they did. Maybe give it until tomorrow and then give MSI a call to see if they've been sent. It’s horrid waiting, especially with all the shitty symptoms of pregnancy that you want to go away.

@MyUmberSeal mine was Thursday morning too and I was so hoping they’d arrive on Saturday 😭. Maybe I’ll get home to a nice surprise that they’ve been delivered but I’m not holding my breath! Really struggling today 😭.

Sorry to post again but my tracking number has arrived!! There’s no updates yet but I’m keeping everything crossed it’ll arrive tomorrow 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞.

Oh that’s good. My fingers are firmly crossed your pills arrive tomorrow. This time next week…you’ll feel much better. Just a bit longer to wait x

Thank you! I’m so relieved to know they’re at least on their way. I nearly had a complete breakdown when they weren’t waiting for me when I got home from work, even though realistically I knew they wouldn’t be! I just hate that heavy feeling in my abdomen, sick feeling and sore boobs, I can’t stand it! Also I’ve been craving McDonalds pancakes all day which is very random!

My package just arrived and I’ve taken the first pill. I feel so relieved already! My plan now is to complete the termination over night tomorrow night while DS is in bed and the dog too so I can get a bit of peace! I have pads, a hot water bottle, paracetamol and ibuprofen and snacks in preparation so fingers crossed it’ll go as smoothly as it can.

Oh I’m really happy for you (sounds a bit odd given the circumstances but you understand what I mean). Positive happy thoughts pinging your way ☺️.

I took my first pill today at 11 and planning for tomorrow night too! I went private so it been super fast.. consult was yesterday. We already have three children and we have so much going on with our business - it’s just not the time, we are happy with three. Message me if you want to chat since we will both be doing it at the same time!!

@TooOldToBePregnant so pleased things are finally happening for you, like @MyUmberSeal says it seems an odd thing to say but u understand the relief! Good luck and hope you feel much better soon!

Thanks all of you and good luck @anon199900! That was really quick! I feel good so far and my sore boobs have already gone 😯. I keep jiggling them to check as I can’t believe it’s happened so quick! I don’t feel sick either although I did plan a stodgy tea incase I felt sick after taking the pill 🤞.

Hope it's ok to jump on here. Sending you love. I've just had my telemedicine phone call this afternoon which was a bit jarring given the types of questions they ask.

I'm hoping to start on Friday and try and get through it on the weekend. Sending love.

Good luck to you too @ThatZippyJadeHedgehog . I found the consultation very gentle TBH, which provided did you go with?

I ended up with MSI. My local NHS sexual health service also offers it so I'd called them but they wanted an in person appointment. I'm a solo full time working mum so MSI sounded better as I could do it at home. Hope it all goes well for you. I'm hoping to start Thursday evening with the first step, all things going well.

@ThatZippyJadeHedgehog ahhh I had initial consultations with both MSI and BUPAS. Both the ladies I spoke to as BUPAS were so lovely but the MSI lady just sounded bored and prescriptive. I guess the main thing is your pills will be here soon and it’ll all be over 😊.

So far, so good. I had bad period type pains at 4am when the dog woke me for his breakfast (yes this is normal for him 🙈🙈) so I took some ibuprofen and soon went back to sleep and I feel quite sick this morning but I’ve eaten now so hopefully that’ll settle down. I’m glad I got a good night’s sleep as tonight is going to be a long one!

@anon199900 how are you feeling today? I started to feel really sick on the way to work, I thought I was going to have to pull over! So I dropped DS at school and came home and am now mainlining hula hoops which are helping.

I have been feeling nauseous since I took the pill, it comes in waves!! I have more energy though - my first symptom of pregancy is exhaustion and that is easing thank God!

Glad you’ve got your energy back! I wish I did 😂. The only thing keeping the sickness at bay is salty food but I’m worried all the salt will make the pain worse somehow! I feel like time is going backwards today, I wish I’d just sucked it up and gone in to work as at least the time would pass quicker even though I know I wouldn’t have been OK.

OMG this is the longest day ever!!!