Waiting for my pills to arrive 😭

[TooOldToBePregnant]

Hi, I’m in total shock to find myself in this forum! On Sunday I took a pregnancy test after my period failed to arrive and to my surprise it was positive 😭. I’m currently 5 weeks and 5 days based on when my last period started but I know exactly when I must have conceived which was just over 3 weeks ago.

After much googling and Mumsnetting, I was surprised to find out I could have a medical abortion through the post. I completed a form with MSI on Sunday night when I couldn’t sleep and then I read that they don’t cover every areas so I panicked and rang BPAS. The lady on the phone was lovely and took all my details and arrange a phone call for this morning. The MSI lady rang yesterday and sounded very bored and robotic. Anyway, I had a phone call with the nurse today who said I am suitable for the pills through the post and I am hoping to be able to take the first one on Monday morning and the 4 pills on Tuesday morning.

I know this is 100% the right decision, I’m 37 and DH is 45. We’re in horrible financial difficulties and we’ve had a really difficult few years but the end is in sight. This is just the icing on the cake! There’s no way we could go back to paying nursery fees. DS also starts his GCSE year next year and he’s more important.

the trouble is, in the meantime I can’t cope with feeling pregnant. My boobs are like cannonballs and I have sensory issues (I’m awaiting an ASD assessment) with my nipples (honestly I can barely type that word) and they are sticking out constantly. I also have a history of eating disorders and I feel like it’s always obvious I’m pregnant as I’m so bloated, even though it probably isn’t to anyone else. I’m having to eat dry, salty food to help stop me feeling sick which is a huge change to my usual very strict diet and I feel like I’m getting fatter and fatter. I also feel like I’m already losing the strength and flexibility to do the sport that brought me out of my most recent relapse in January.

I’m sorry if that sound vain and selfish, but I can’t cope with feeling this way even though I know it’ll be over soon. I feel like everyone can tell already.

Does anyone have any tips for how to cope with the wait. Or any tips for the day itself?

Thanks for reading my brain dump!

I've felt feverish on and off but that's it so I'm glad I came into work. Dreading this evening though. How are you feeling today?

@ThatZippyJadeHedgehog that’s good! Just keep in mind it’ll all be over soon and post if we can be of any support to you!

I feel great today, still bleeding a normal period amount but I feel totally back to myself 💪.

@TooOldToBePregnant I've administered the 4 misoprostol tablets about 90 minutes ago. Definitely feeling the cramps but not too bad so far though I did dose up on ibuprofen as soon as I felt them coming on. My partner has come upstairs to give me cuddles but he's happily snoring away right now while I lie here 😐 I'm glad I started earlier than planned my two teens are in their rooms happily doing their own things on their devices and my little one is being entertained by them. Coincidentally I've come down with a cold so they think I'm in bed for that.

@ThatZippyJadeHedgehog glad it’s going well so far! Typical man, falling asleep 🙈. My bleeding started after 2 hours so hopefully yours will start soon too. You’re on the home straight now!

Yep it's started bang on two hours. I've had three kids so it feels midway between a bad period and labour. I'm getting by. Kids are settling to sleep so it will be some comfort tv and full sugary coke and plain crisps. I never drink proper coke but I think an exception can be made this time

Yes I agree it was exactly that! I was done by just after 2am, well the worst part anyway so hopefully it’ll be the same for you. Full fat Coke is a great idea!

I think the worst part is done now. Similar experience it all came to a peak and then eased off. Feeling very worn out this morning but just feels like a terrible first day of a heavy period.

@ThatZippyJadeHedgehog glad it’s all over for you too now! Take it easy today and I bet you’ll feel great by tomorrow 🥰.

How is everyone getting on? It’s been just over a week now for me and things are getting back to normal. Tuesday was a bad day because I was bleeding heavily again with lots of clots but (hopefully!) that seemed to be the end of it and now there’s just a bit of pink blood when I wipe. I took the second pregnancy test in the box I bought tonight just out of curiosity and it’s negative already so I guess the hormones have left my body. I’m so relieved it appears to be all over and grateful that I live in a country where 1. I’m able to make the best choice for me, my family and any potential baby and 2. It’s free so I didn’t have to worry about not being able to afford it!

I'm doing well now. What I wasn't expecting was the emotions and trauma that sunk in after it happened. Yesterday I started to bleed heavily again but all of a sudden I felt emotionally a lot better again.

Part of me is sad and exploring feelings of regret but logically, like you, I know I made the right choice for myself and my family.

I'm glad you're doing better. It's definitely an experience I never want to repeat, partner has decided to get a vasectomy and already got his referral.