Abortion help please :(

[padavale929]

I’ve just found out I am pregnant, judging by my last period I could be about 8 weeks, 9 weeks Tuesday.
Im not with the father, this has happened because I was moving and ended up missing two of my pills.
I already have children, I’ve just started a new job, financially I cannot afford it and tbh I’ve only just been able to have a bit of me time while all my kids are in full time school.
I’ve decided to have an abortion, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow because I tried contacting BPAS and they don’t cover my area
I am absolutely petrified. I don’t know what to expect, what if it isn’t successful, how much pain am I going to be in..
I just really need some words of reassurance right now and to hear some experiences and what people would advise is the best sort of abortion to have?
Because of covid a lot of places are making you take the tablets at home but I’m scared I won’t do that right and the pregnancy will continue.
Then if I have a surgical what if they miss it and the pregnancy continues that way?
I am so scared. I’m in limbo. I really could just do with a big hug right now and some friendly advise.
Thank you x

They're unlikely to miss it on a surgical, if the tablets don't work first time, not saying it doesn't happen but it's fairly thorough when they do the procedure. So sorry you're dealing with this, Padavale

You may want to ask MN to move your thread to another board in women's health/conception where you might get better advice. But a big hug from me, love x

I'm so sorry, OP. What a difficult situation.

Abortions aren't generally particularly painful. And most are straightforward and have no complications. I think your doctor is probably going to be the one who discusses what type is suitable.

Sending you a big hug. Never an easy choice, I hope you find some comfort and solace in the fact that so many women have been in exactly your position so many times before.

@Ereshkigalangcleg thank you for your reply, I’ve never used this before so was a bit clueless as to what I was doing.
I’ve asked on a group on Facebook for advice and one of the girls said her surgical had failed at 14 weeks so I went into panic mode and needed to just speak to someone ASAP who could help.
But your reply honestly means the world, just needed to talk and vent, thank you so much xx

www.bpas.org/abortion-care/considering-abortion/advice-and-counselling/

I also really need to apologise I have no idea how I’ve ended up in this board. I’m so sorry girls if this upsets anyone I went into panic mode after reading a few things and just needed to speak to someone x

I know BPAS don't cover your area, OP, but there is advice on that site if you want to know more about the subject.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/abortion/

No need to apologise, you'll not upset anyone. Just might be more suited to another board. You can 'report' your own post and ask for it to be moved, if you wish.

But your reply honestly means the world, just needed to talk and vent, thank you so much xx

It's no problem, take care xx

Breathe deeply.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

The chances of it not working properly are incredibly slim. At 8/9 weeks the chances of missing it are small.

It will be ok. Hopefully your GP is good and can reassure.

So sorry OP - this is a tough situation to be in.

It's natural to feel worried, but it's very unlikely anything will be missed. Terminations are straightforward procedures with few complications.

It will all be over soon. Take care of yourself in the meantime.

So sorry that you are in this situation. It’s really very, very unlikely that a surgical abortion could be missed. I’m very certain they make absolutely sure that it is complete. I had one a couple of years ago and the pain afterwards was really very minimal. And honestly, I felt relief too. I wasn’t in a position for a new baby either.
Look after yourself and be kind to yourself, all the very best to you xx

Hi OP, don't be scared.

I've had the tablets at while it did make me feel a bit crampy and sick, it wasn't that bad. Stay at home if you can!

If there was a high risk of taking the tablets "wrong", it wouldn't even be an option. And in the very unlikely event it doesn't go as planned, just make sure you know who to call.

You're making the best decision for your family and yourself. All the best x

Sending lots of love op, I have no experience but here to hand hold

OP I wish you all the best.

How are you feeling today OP?

Thank you everyone so much for your comments and not judging me, I honestly cannot thank you enough🤍 I’ve got the doctors at 10am I’m hoping they’ll help me sort everything out today now.
I feel a bit better I’ve spoken to people.
Although I’m feeling guilty and sad about this I do know it’s the best option for me and my family.
I will let you know how I get off at the doctors x

My prayers are with you. Please don't feel guilty, you are doing the best thing for you and your family

Hopefully you will get some good advice and a clear way forward.

I’ve just got back I’ve got to have a consultation with the hospital over the phone and I should be able to carry it out at home. Just waiting for the nurse to phone me. I was expecting the hospital and doctors to judge me but they were so nice.
I don’t feel guilt or sad today. I feel relief.
I’m so thankful for you all messaging me. I really don’t feel as alone now 🤍

When are you looking at your appointment op?

Glad you're feeling better, OP.

Sorry I haven’t updated guys.
My appointment is Wednesday, unfortunately I do have to have a scan. But I won’t see the screen.
The nurse was so unbelievably lovely. I asked her my concerns if the tablets weren’t to work she said it’s soo unlikely, but she’d give me more but I would have to stay in hospital then.
I’m gonna do the first tablet Wednesday and then I’ll do the second Thursday. And hopefully this time next week it will all be over with for me.
I’ve got to be honest I’m not feeling anything sad now. Not grief. Nothing. And I really hope that doesn’t change because I really am in the right head frame x

Hope all goes well.

Thanks for the update OP. All the best.