I started the abortion process and I regret it. Can a fetus survive mifepristone??

[Kiki92]

I appreciate the absurdity of asking for kindness on the internet, but please be considerate and try not to judge me too harshly for what I'm about to say. I'm struggling.

I'm 6 weeks pregnant. I became redundant last year due to Covid, so I've been living off of my savings. Not ideal, but manageable as a interim as I'm now back at university doing a business degree. Regardless when I found myself pregnant a couple of weeks ago I was happy, (I already have a 3 year old son from a previous relationship and the thought of expanding my family really made me happy). The revelation caused my partner to instantly leave me, however. He virtually vanished into a puff of smoke. I've not heard from him since.

Since then I've been weighing up the pros and cons, and decided that abortion was my only reasonable option. It seemed like the rational choice. I would struggle to afford another child on my own, and doing it all on my own again seems pretty overwhelming. Not only that, but my family would be very unsupportive of me being a single mum to 2 children with 2 fathers. (Not an issue in my eyes, but I can imagine their comments).

So, I collected my pills on Tuesday. I was putting off the process. I talked myself into starting it yesterday. I took the first pill (the mifepristone), and I instantly broke down and realised it was a mistake. I tried to make myself sick, but I couldn't. The regret was instant and overwhelming. My initial qualms and panics seem futile.

I spoke to a 111 gyno last night who told me not to take the second batch and to hope that the first pill doesn't work. He said there's hope and I'm praying for a miracle. All I can do is sit and wait. I feel so bloody stupid, and I'm not asking for sympathy for obvious reasons.

Has anyone else been here though????

Hi op, I hope that you’re feeling more reassured after the scan. I’d speak to your GP about taking a higher dosage of folic acid (5 milligrams) until you’re 12 weeks, and possibly starting low dosage aspirin from 8 weeks.

I’ve found this study about the Continuation of pregnancy after first-trimester exposure to mifepristone, which is very reassuring.

This first prospective study found that the rate of major malformations after first-trimester exposure to mifepristone is only slightly higher than the expected 2–3% rate in the general population. Such findings provide reassuring data for risk evaluation for continuation of pregnancy after mifepristone exposure.

www.researchgate.net/publication/235369387_Continuation_of_pregnancy_after_first-trimester_exposure_to_mifepristone_An_observational_prospective_study

Thats great news, Congratulations!! I know the future is uncertain, but that's how it can be in any pregnancy. Best of luck for the coming months!

There are never any guarantees with babies , congratulations @Kiki92 💐

Also meant to add that you could cite that study along with the PRISM trail to request progesterone.

www.tommys.org/about-us/charity-news/hope-many-couples-progesterone-shown-reduce-risk-miscarriage-some-women

It did sound from how you were feeling that the baby was alive, I am so pleased for you, even with the uncertainty.
If you were my friend i would be round now with cake.

@kiki92 I'm so happy for you! Fingers crossed for your 12 week scan as well. I hope you're doing ok x x x

I'm so happy for you xxx

@Kiki92

Have you been continuing with your counselling? I think, now, more than ever, it will be important for you.

I hope you can get help too in working out your plan going forward.

This has been (& guess is still) a deeply traumatic time for you. Please make sure you have the necessary support.

Given what's happened, it will hard to feel fully reassured. Hopefully later scans will help, and give an indication of the health of the baby.

Very pleased for you - look after yourself

Amazing news!! Try not to worry!

Oh that's great news! I'm so happy for you. Here's hoping everything goes smoothly from here on out.

So thrilled for you that your baby is alive!

And honestly, I've been relieved to read some of the helpful stats other people have posted, so I imagine it must be such welcome information for you, even if motherly worry is your overriding emotion.

Hope all goes well for you. Nice to see a happy update.

So happy for you!! Look after yourself now!

@Kiki92

Hey guys... It's mixed news

Firstly, baby is alive!!!! I cried during the scan. It was a beautiful moment. I'm so happy!!!

However, she couldn't guarantee that the baby would continue to be okay or born without abnormalities. There's been no research into what happens to a baby if they survive the medication.

So I'm very very scared and confused.

I’m so very happy for you. There are no guarantees with any pregnancy.

That's great news, agree there's no guarantees with any pregnancy x

I have been thinking about you and the baby all day. My heart leapt with joy for you both. I really hope it all goes well.

So pleased for you xxx

Honestly, I'm grateful to all of you! My sonographer today was wonderful too. She even broke the hospital's regulations and held my hand and gave me a hug, which I very much needed.

She sat with me for 15 minutes after, explaining that she couldn't tell me what'll happen. She told me that babies have been born perfectly healthy after the pill, but those results haven't been documented to her knowledge. She said if my child ever developed a condition (e.g. autism or aspergers) would I inwardly think "Is this because of the mifepristone?" Would I blame myself for everything. It was quite intense. There was a lot to take in.

She said I could change my mind at any time, but obviously I don't want that. I'm going to attend the 12 week scan and go from there. I didn't know how to feel when I left the hospital, but this is good news. 😊 xxxx

Hi Kiki.

I know it's hard not to worry but I would try to stay positive. As others have said complications can happen in any pregnancy and also the evidence that several babies have been born without issues from the first pill is looking very positive.

Enjoy your pregnancy, this little one is clearly a fighter and good luck in your next scan.

I'm glad she was kind OP

But did she really say this?

She said if my child ever developed a condition (e.g. autism or aspergers) would I inwardly think "Is this because of the mifepristone?"

That sounds massively unprofessional and also completely outside the scope of a sonographer. Did you see a doctor?

I feel a bit unsure about the level of medical support you have received (or not, as it appears) throughout. I would expect where I am that you'd have had much more medical supervision but I accept this could be different elsewhere.

Thinking further, why would she even suggest those conditions? They are not 'caused' by anything the mother takes or does, they are genetic.

I feel really concerned at what was said here.

I think it's true though that we all ask those questions (I know I did after my DS was diagnosed with autism). Maybe the sonographer was asking if you could put those feelings aside or would it eat away at you? I agree they are genetic conditions though and it's not helpful to put thoughts in your head. It sounds as if she was trying to be supportive though.

I can understand that Aspiring. I do think that it's a really, really odd conversation for a sonographer to have. In any hospital I know of, a situation like this would have input from a doctor. The sonographer would not be in a position to even comment on the case.

(I can understand that they might have been acting in a human, empathetic way, not professionally, of course, but it still sounds really strange they would do this.)

I hope you have an opportunity to meet a doctor soon OP.

Was the “sonographer” performing an NHS maternity scan arranged through the midwife?

Or was it a follow up at the termination clinic to see what was going on?

If it was a follow up at the termination clinic (BPAS or the like) then it’s likely she was a specially trained midwife or nurse who also has an extra qualification in ultrasound scanning, and is quite qualified to counsel people on the potential uncertainties and outcomes.

The mention of autism etc is a bit off as that isn’t one of the supposed risks of foetal exposure to mifepristone (to my knowledge) but there are some other conditions. I believe moebius syndrome is one of them.