Medical Abortion - panicking

[TKL04]

Hi guys! Relatively new here and in need of a little support!
I realise this may be a sensitive subject and I’m sorry if I offend anyone with my post.

I’m 29 years old and found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks ago after contraception failed.
I had even taken the morning after pill to be safe so I was really shocked when a test came back positive.
Going off dates I think I’m 6 weeks today.
As awful as I feel saying this, I’ve decided to go for a termination. I have an anxiety disorder which is currently playing up something terrible and my partner of 10 years doesn’t want to go ahead with the pregnancy as he feels he isn’t ready. He has said he would leave if I go ahead with it. I also struggle with an intense fear of being sick and any kind of nausea sends me in to a full blown panic. I’ve been lying awake at night and scared to leave the house because of morning sickness.
Last week I spoke to Marie Stopes who agreed I was eligible for the early medical abortion pills. Apparently they are offering a postal service due to Covid and as I was deemed early enough, I wouldn’t need to go in for a scan.
The pills arrived in the post today and I am planning on taking the first tablet tomorrow. I am beyond terrified and not sure I will be able to do it as I’ve convinced myself I’m going to bleed to death or have some horrible experience. I have taken misoprostol previously for a MMC and although it wasn’t pleasant, I managed. The main issue I had was after about 20 minutes of swallowing the tablets I became very dizzy, weak and felt as though I was going to faint. This was shortly followed by throwing up (just once) and the dizziness passed. I am so so scared of this dizzy sensation happening again and me actually passing out this time. I’m terrified of the blood loss and having to go to hospital (I work there and wouldn’t ever want anyone to know that I was terminating). I have mentioned my previous experience to Marie stopes and they did not seem concerned but I am beyond scared.
I can’t stop myself from crying and I feel trapped and alone. My partner will be with me for the most part but he just thinks I should get it over with.

Has anyone else ever had a dizzy/faint sensation with Misoprostol?

Thank you and once again I hope this doesn’t offend
Xx

Hi. I can't comment on myself... But my best friend took this. At home the same as you.
She didn't feel great for the first few days once it kicked in.

You certainly won't bleed to death. The bleeding will be the same as your management for MMC.
It'll be almost identical.

Just make sure you have someone with you.

You certainly won't bleed to death though. It is very very rare for a complication to happen.

Hey I sent you a message; did you receive it? I basically said I had an unplanned pregnancy myself; I went ahead despite my partner's objections and I was better off with my son and without my 'partner'. But I know it's hard and wouldn't judge you for either choice. Seriously, though: if he's not ready after 10 years when will he be? This is your decision, your body, your baby.

The advice I would offer is take your time, get some counselling, think it over before doing something irreversible. And I wish you the best no matter what you choose. x

Thanks for replying guys.

I still haven't been able to take the medication. I am certain I want to go through with it but I am in such a state of panic I can't calm myself down.
I hate this so much. I've spent the day hyperventilating on and off and trying to pluck the courage to take the first pill.
I wish I could have this done in a clinic setting rather than at home. I'd never be able to deal with surgical. I feel so trapped and desperate! I just want to go back to normal Xx

Hey lovely, how are you doing?
I am sympathising with you. I have my appointment for a medical termination on Wednesday. I’m not concerned about taking the tablets, in fact I can’t wait if I’m honest given the way I have felt the past 2 weeks, I didn’t expect pregnancy to feel this way. Like you, I am somewhat concerned of the bleeding and what I’m potentially going to see come away from my body.
If you’re certain of your decision, try and get rid of the thoughts that history is going to repeat itself, this isn’t guaranteed and it sounds like you’re working yourself up. Try taking a nap or having a lie down once you’ve taken the tablets to let any side effects pass. I have to keep reminding myself that people are doing this every day. Xx

Hi holjo.

I've exhausted myself. My partner has had to leave for work (he works in London) but is hopefully coming back tomorrow night so we can start the process Wednesday. I plan to speak to my gp tomorrow to see if she can help with my anxiety.
I just want the whole thing over and done with.
Sorry you've got to go through this too. How many weeks are you?
Just when I think I've got on top of my anxiety and fears, it starts again

Thanks for messaging. It really helps to know someone else is going through the same xx

Morning, I hope you’re feeling a little better today. I really feel for you, the anxiety must be so hard on you. Just know you’re not alone, the past 2 weeks my IBS (anxiety induced) has been horrendous, I’ve been sat on the toilet during the night having panic attacks feeling like I’m dying.
Great idea, see what your GP can do for you and prepare for the event ahead of time, then at least you and your partner know what to expect and try to manage your anxiety as much as you can. Did Marie Stopes offer you any support?
I’m 6.5 weeks, I had planned to start trying later on this year. I honestly thought I was going to struggle to conceive as I’ve been on birth control for 10+ years, came off in Jan to get my cycle back to normal and this happened. So a real shock! The time just isn’t right at the moment. Xx

Hi@TKL04, hope you’re feeling ok today. I’ve just got out of hospital after my miscarriage turned into a haemorrhage, and wanted to tell you that even in the very unlikely event that happens you will be very well looked after! I’ve also had misoprostol to help the rest of it along, so I’ll share the advice the gynae consultant gave me: curl up somewhere warm and cosy with the biggest pads you can get your hands on - tbh I’ve been in what felt like adult nappies since Friday night, but it was a lot better than worrying about leaks (I’d already done that on my parents’ cream sofa 🤦‍♀️) and a handy nearby stash of nice things to eat and drink, plus your painkiller of choice. Stay well hydrated, and be kind to yourself. Any side effects you might get will only be temporary.

Hi holjo
How did your appointment go today? I still haven't taken the first pill. Waiting for my prescription of anti sickness to be ready. Should be available this evening apparently. I'm terrified.

Sunbird - I'm so sorry you've had to go through that but I'm glad they looked after you well.

I am worried I won't be able to go through with things. My anxiety is out of control and I just keep convincing myself I will bleed too much 😞 xx

Hey, managed to get through my appointment ok, the midwife did a scan and some measurements. I was given the tablets to take at home which I didn’t expect. Felt very emotional once I had got home and had the first pill in my hand, I just feel cruel. Took the tablet at 11.30, had a few aches and nausea but no worse than period cramps.
The anti sickness should help you get through the process easier, just remember that there’s health care professionals at the end of the phone if you have any worries. The midwife said that if you’re filling 3 pads heavily within 1 hour then that’s when you should give them a call but I am confident I will be ok once the pregnancy has passed. I think the guilt is the worst thing I’m feeling now.
Sending my prayers your way xx

How are you doing @TKL04? Did you get your anti sickness meds?

Hi @Sunbird24
Managed to get some antisickness so just about to take one and then will take the first pill.
Keep psyching myself out and imagining all sorts. God this anxiety has a lot to answer for 😬.
Thank you for asking.

@holjo how are you doing?

Xx

Glad you got your meds, hope it all goes smoothly for you. Have you got all your pads and everything else sorted? My first time with misoprostol it took 12hrs to kick in, but once it did pretty much everything was over in about 8hrs. I was working night shifts at the time so had gone to the hospital in the morning, stayed there all day with nothing happening, and it started after I got to work then was pretty much over by the time my shift ended. No nausea or vomiting, just a little bit of cramping. Wish my miscarriages were so simple!

I’ll be around for a handhold if you need one - given that I’ve been in hospital work aren’t being demanding about me coming back in this week. X

@Sunbird24 I've got pads and a hot water bottle ready. Even have some left over puppy pads to sit on just in case 😬.
I really hope it all goes smoothly! Would appreciate the hand hold. I'm a nervous wreck.
Looking forward to this all being over so I can calm down 🤦🏻‍♀️ xx

@TKL04 great news that you’ve got the anti sickness meds! That should make the process easier for you.

Was up every hour last night with nausea and hunger pains. Cramping was no worse than period pains after the mifepristone.
At 12.10 I vaginally inserted the 4 misoprostol (heard this has less side effects than letting them dissolve in your mouth). The cramping started about 20 minutes after. Brushed my teeth at 1pm and ended up vomiting, think the nerves and anxiety got the better of me.
At 2pm the bleeding started, felt 2 bigger clots come straight away, I think this was the pregnancy coming away. Spent most of the afternoon sat on the toilet and just let things progress and come away. The pain wasn’t as bad as I thought, just felt like a bad period. The bleeding is still on the heavier side but haven’t had any clots come away for a few hours. I’m so happy that I’m on the other side of it now, I couldn’t have done it without my mum and partners support today.

Please keep us updated how you are getting on. You have all our support here, if I can do this then so can you xx

I have completed my medical abortion today and had no sickness (I’m usually a very sicky person and I too have anxiety about being sick) It was very straightforward and relatively pain free. Just follow the instructions you were given, and lots of rest, eat well keep your sugar level up as take care 🤍 (I also took anti sickness tablets) Good luck thinking of you it’s not mentally easy at all I know 🤍

Glad to hear you’re on the other side now @holjo and @Petal17

Hope you’re doing ok @TKL04. Puppy pads are a good idea! I ended up sitting on an remote compost bag on my parents’ sofa, and in my dad’s car! Glamorous...

Not remote, empty! Stupid autocarrot...

That does sound glamorous! U poor thing. I have had very little bleeding thankfully. I have also done it alone today as no one knows except my husband so it’s been tough not having anyone to speak to. Kept it between us as my brother and wife are going through IVF, so felt awful to tell. My husband and I are both in our 40’s, have two teenagers and this come as a huge shock. Whilst it was best to keep it quiet, I’ve found that emotionally very difficult. Especially tonight, probably the reason why I’ve come on here; hormones raging through no doubt

My first miscarriage in my early twenties would have been a termination, if the scan hadn’t shown that it had gone wrong somewhere weeks before. I may be doing IVF now I’m in my 40s and trying to have my first, but absolutely no judgment from me on anyone doing what they need to when it’s just not right for them. Totally get why you wouldn’t want to share with your brother and SIL though, no need to make two separate emotive family situations worse!

Good luck to you, hopefully it doesn’t come to IVF. That’s very lovely of you not to judge, never an easy thing for anyone, I’ve had 2 MC so I know all the emotions of all the different circumstances

@TKL04 hope you are doing okay x

This was my second embryo transfer, second MC, second trip to A&E! 🤦‍♀️ I still believe if it’s meant to be then it will happen. Other people’s journeys aren’t going to affect the outcome of mine, so why not be nice? Everyone deserves a bit of empathy!
I’m sorry you’ve had MCs as well, they really aren’t fun...

Apologies I read your post wrong. Well hugest good luck to you for next time. Third time luck has they say 🤍🤍

@holjo @Petal17 how are you both today?

I had a massive wobble last night but finally managed to take the first tablet about 30 mins ago! I've panicked since and now worrying I won't be able to do tomorrow.
I've convinced myself of the worst 😩.
I need this to be over xxx

Feeling quite emotional now. I know this is the right thing to do but I can't help but feel a little sad 😞

Anyone there?