Medical Abortion - panicking

[TKL04]

Hi guys! Relatively new here and in need of a little support!
I realise this may be a sensitive subject and I’m sorry if I offend anyone with my post.

I’m 29 years old and found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks ago after contraception failed.
I had even taken the morning after pill to be safe so I was really shocked when a test came back positive.
Going off dates I think I’m 6 weeks today.
As awful as I feel saying this, I’ve decided to go for a termination. I have an anxiety disorder which is currently playing up something terrible and my partner of 10 years doesn’t want to go ahead with the pregnancy as he feels he isn’t ready. He has said he would leave if I go ahead with it. I also struggle with an intense fear of being sick and any kind of nausea sends me in to a full blown panic. I’ve been lying awake at night and scared to leave the house because of morning sickness.
Last week I spoke to Marie Stopes who agreed I was eligible for the early medical abortion pills. Apparently they are offering a postal service due to Covid and as I was deemed early enough, I wouldn’t need to go in for a scan.
The pills arrived in the post today and I am planning on taking the first tablet tomorrow. I am beyond terrified and not sure I will be able to do it as I’ve convinced myself I’m going to bleed to death or have some horrible experience. I have taken misoprostol previously for a MMC and although it wasn’t pleasant, I managed. The main issue I had was after about 20 minutes of swallowing the tablets I became very dizzy, weak and felt as though I was going to faint. This was shortly followed by throwing up (just once) and the dizziness passed. I am so so scared of this dizzy sensation happening again and me actually passing out this time. I’m terrified of the blood loss and having to go to hospital (I work there and wouldn’t ever want anyone to know that I was terminating). I have mentioned my previous experience to Marie stopes and they did not seem concerned but I am beyond scared.
I can’t stop myself from crying and I feel trapped and alone. My partner will be with me for the most part but he just thinks I should get it over with.

Has anyone else ever had a dizzy/faint sensation with Misoprostol?

Thank you and once again I hope this doesn’t offend
Xx

Thanks @Petal17
I think I'd just forgotten how long and drawn out this process can be. I was so focused on getting the tablets over and done with that I've found the recovery to be a bit of a shock.
Very tearful today. Not sure whether it's hormone related. Just looking forward to being normal again and not having to worry xx

Hope your all doing ok ladies! I felt exactly the same...I was so clear in my decision I didn't want any more children but it really doesn't make the process any easier. Especially like you say hormones being all over the place.For me I had a really traumatic birth just under a year ago...and this process has made me realise that I do actually need to talk to someone about it. Don't be afraid to go for the free counselling, I've got my first appointment next week. Here if you need to talk. It does get easier...I promise x

@TKL04 I was totally the same - so worked up in the decision I was making and the reasons why and the process that I didn’t even stop to this about the afterwards. I am still sure it was the right thing to do, I just wish I didn’t have to do it, and it sounds like we’re all in the same boat feeling the same

@Anonymous354 make sure you do reach out for help. Trauma stays with you for a long time and sometimes it lays dormant and it’s always good to get some professional help to manage feelings. I had a traumatic pregnancy with my second, husbands mum died of an aggressive brain tumour and I found out I was pregnant 5 days after her funeral. I was very depressed during my pregnancy and that stayed with me for a long time after the birth and I was so low but never spoke to anyone. Always get the help there is some great services out there.

Lots of love to everyone struggling at the moment 🤍

Hi guys! How's everyone feeling today?

I've been a bit more active today so noticed my bleeding was a tad worse but not much.

Getting the odd twinge and feeling generally quite achey. Hoping that's just everything shrinking down and not the start of an infection or signs of retained products.
Scared myself stiff reading about PID 🤦🏻‍♀️
Just trying to get myself to the weekend when it will have been 7 days.

Xx

Are you taking antibiotics for the UTI? If so I think those are the treatment for PID anyway so don’t be scared of getting PID.

@PixellatedPixie I'm taking nitrofurantoin which I don't think treats non uti infections because it goes straight to the bladder.

Logically I know I'm unlikely to have an infection but my brain loves to play tricks on me 😩 xx

I finally stopped bleeding yesterday, at day 11. Think the end was sped up a little by really bad hay fever! Pregnancy test still positive but will try that again in a few days

@Sunbird24 that's great! I bet it's such a relief to finally stop! I have to test 3 weeks from the date of the tablets so I think it's highly likely a test can be positive during that time.

Did everyone else experience small clots with their bleeding during their recovery? I'm day 6 today and I'm still having the odd small clot. Sort of like what you get with a period xxx

Glad your both doing well and on the better side of it. I took the tablets coming up to 3 weeks ago now. (This Sunday) I think I stopped bleeding heavily after a week. But just this week started spotting again. I have started taking the mini pill though so could be down to that. I think I was told I could get irregular bleeding for up to 6 weeks and your first period after could be heavier. Are you feeling any better emotionally?
I’m having my first counselling appointment next week, and started couch to 5k this week so mentally I’m already feeling better x

@TKL04 yes I did, although they were small and only 1 or 2. Yesterday was the first day I didn’t have one and I’m day 8 today x

@Anonymous354 that will defo help, help keep the mind focused too. I haven’t been active since Tuesday last week when I took the first tablet and it’s got me so down. Because of my age I’m having to inject myself with inhixa once a day following my termination to stop blood clots; injections into my abdomen, so I’m bruised and sore so can’t do anything. Want to get up and at it again! X

@Petal17 yes that's exactly what I'm getting. Very small and only the odd one or two. Hoping it settles down soon.
Still have sore boobs but I think they are settling 🤞🏻 xxx

Mine are no longer sore but are very itchy? It’s annoying! I have felt a lot calmer these past 2 days. Earlier in the week I was all over the place. Couldn’t even look at photos of my children as babies. Brought up loads of memories about previous MC’s I had 15-20 years ago etc. I had quite a lot of regret too, but then I look at our life now and I just think it was so right because we physically couldn’t give a baby what we did our teenagers when they were born. My husband has a totally different job now and works long hours. Our eldest son is on the brink of being diagnosed with ASD and life can be manic, it would have been unfair. We don’t have another bedroom and would have been impossible to expect teenagers to share with either a baby or each other after having their own rooms all their lives. This baby would have had a 60 year old dad when turning a teenager and already we feel old and less energetic as we did years ago. And I have no idea how my body would have coped at 43! My pregnancies with my children weren’t difficult as such, but they also weren’t exactly easy, and I was in my 20’s then! So many factors against, and I have to keep telling myself it wasn’t through wrecklessness...don’t even know how it happened as I’ve been on the same contraception for 13 years since my last baby but I guess it’s testament to the fact that nothing is 100%.

I’m sure we will feel ourselves again soon, just such a horrible thing to go through isn’t it, I actually think mentally it’s harder than physically. Wishing everyone in this situation lots of love and always here to talk if anyone needs anything; can’t explain how much this group has helped me I’m thankful to you all x

Obviously slightly different situation for me as I’m working towards my next embryo transfer, but the mechanics are exactly the same. I did have some small clots, but it really just tailed off to a little bit of blood when I wiped, then just a pinkish tinge, then nothing. I think my tests will be negative by Sunday, so I’ll be on the OPKs for a bit after that to see when I ovulate, and hopefully next month I try again. I’m 2 for 2 on both miscarriages and trips to A&E though, so fingers crossed...

@Sunbird24 everything crossed for you 🤍 Please keep us updated on your progress as will keep you in my thoughts hoping to hear some great news 🤍

Fingers crossed @Sunbird24! Will be keeping you in my thoughts

I'm so grateful for everyone on this thread. When I posted I never thought I would get such kind replies let alone find so many people in similar situations. Hope everyone is doing ok.

I must admit the recovery is slower than I thought and it's starting to get me down now. Still bleeding although it's starting to turn brown with occasional red (sort of like the end of a period) and there's barely anything on the pad for the most part. Seems to be when I wipe. I haven't done much since last Saturday and I think I'm feeling a bit caged in. Sore boobs have mostly gone. No nausea but this bleeding 😩😩. It's a constant reminder every time I go to the toilet
I hope it has cleared up before I go back to work next weekend. All day on my feet is going to be hard if I'm still feeling this drained 🤦🏻‍♀️ xx

How many days has it been now @TKL04? It does sound like you’re nearly done, but get some cheapie pregnancy tests as you’ll probably still have some hormones going on, and you want to see the lines on the test getting fainter until they’re negative, just for peace of mind. Get outside for a walk if the weather’s nice, treat yourself to a coffee & cake or whatever you fancy.

@Sunbird24 Im day 8 today. Ordered myself some cheap tests off Amazon. No idea why but I did one last night and it was positive. As expected. Hoping it will get lighter as you said. I know it takes time. Marie stopes have said to test 3 weeks from the date of the pills
Xxx

Hi ladies hope everyone is doing okay. Has anyone had a period yet? I’m 5 weeks tomorrow since first pill and 5 week on Thursday since second lot of pills and completion; but no period? And no symptoms either?

Hi @Petal17

I'm doing ok! Had a bit of an infection after so on some antibiotics but all good.
How are you doing?
I've not had mine either and don't have any signs. I'm 4 weeks and 3 days today.
When I used misoprostol for my miscarriage it was about 6 weeks when I finally got mine back

Xxx

I am doing okay thank you; had some wobbly days but getting there. How r u doing? Thank you for the reply; I am super paranoid at the moment as I’m usually 28 day cycle! X

Hi ladies! I do keep thinking about you both hope your doing ok. I’ve been really struggling to be honest but start my counselling this week. I haven’t had my period yet either. I started taking the mini pill but was constantly spotting and had to stop because it was really affecting my mental health. I did a test last week negative but still no period. It’s just over 6 weeks ago for me. 😩 x

Hi guys!
I've had a lot of anxiety since it all happened. Think it's triggered me a little bit. A few friends are getting close to having their babies and I'm excited for them but it's bitter sweet.

How is everyone?
Not sure whether I've started my period today or not.
Just finished a course of metronidazole gel which can cause bleeding, so no idea whether it's that or my cycle returning.

I do think of you all quite often! Hope you're all doing ok.

Xx