Medical Abortion - panicking

[TKL04]

Hi guys! Relatively new here and in need of a little support!
I realise this may be a sensitive subject and I’m sorry if I offend anyone with my post.

I’m 29 years old and found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks ago after contraception failed.
I had even taken the morning after pill to be safe so I was really shocked when a test came back positive.
Going off dates I think I’m 6 weeks today.
As awful as I feel saying this, I’ve decided to go for a termination. I have an anxiety disorder which is currently playing up something terrible and my partner of 10 years doesn’t want to go ahead with the pregnancy as he feels he isn’t ready. He has said he would leave if I go ahead with it. I also struggle with an intense fear of being sick and any kind of nausea sends me in to a full blown panic. I’ve been lying awake at night and scared to leave the house because of morning sickness.
Last week I spoke to Marie Stopes who agreed I was eligible for the early medical abortion pills. Apparently they are offering a postal service due to Covid and as I was deemed early enough, I wouldn’t need to go in for a scan.
The pills arrived in the post today and I am planning on taking the first tablet tomorrow. I am beyond terrified and not sure I will be able to do it as I’ve convinced myself I’m going to bleed to death or have some horrible experience. I have taken misoprostol previously for a MMC and although it wasn’t pleasant, I managed. The main issue I had was after about 20 minutes of swallowing the tablets I became very dizzy, weak and felt as though I was going to faint. This was shortly followed by throwing up (just once) and the dizziness passed. I am so so scared of this dizzy sensation happening again and me actually passing out this time. I’m terrified of the blood loss and having to go to hospital (I work there and wouldn’t ever want anyone to know that I was terminating). I have mentioned my previous experience to Marie stopes and they did not seem concerned but I am beyond scared.
I can’t stop myself from crying and I feel trapped and alone. My partner will be with me for the most part but he just thinks I should get it over with.

Has anyone else ever had a dizzy/faint sensation with Misoprostol?

Thank you and once again I hope this doesn’t offend
Xx

@TKL04 I will private message you x 🤍

You’re going to be fine, you’ll get through this. I’m glad you’ve reached out to us, it’s not an easy decision to make by any means let alone take the actions towards it.
I had the best sleep I’ve had in weeks last night, took some cocodamol before I went to sleep and got a good 6-7 hours in. Bleeding has reduced significantly, it’s more a moderate period now and cramps are barely there.

I’ve sent you a message privately xx

Well done for getting started @TKL04, the emotions are normal, they just prove that you fully understand that you made a big decision.

@TKL04 I hope your ok. I'm 2 weeks on the other side of this, and can honestly say the emotional side is much worse than the physical side or it was for me anyway. Just get comfy take the tablets...plenty of food and rest and you will be fine. I understand exactly where your coming from the waiting is the absolute worst. You can do this...you will be ok. I'm here if you need anything. The thing I struggled with the most is only me and my partner know what I've been through...and although he's been so supportive sorting the children, doing everything around the house ...he's not my mum or best friend or a woman for that fact who even understands what period pains are like. My mum had a miscarriage and my best friend is struggling to conceive so I didn't feel like I could speak to them .... like I say...if you just need an ear...I'm hear. Wish you all the best xx

@Anonymous354 thank you. It’s definitely not an easy process and one I don’t ever want to go through again.

Just about to start the second lot of pills. Had lots of nausea and a rough night after the first lot but have felt generally well today besides a headache. I think that’s all the stress and tension.
So so scared now though! Just want to be normal again xx

Just think it will be a day of discomfort and feeling a little rough. But once it’s done you will be on your way back to normality. If you can just take it easy for a few days and be kind to yourself. It’s really hard taking the tablets. It’s more mind over matter. Virtual hug to you. Update is on here if you need support x

Taken the pills now. Am bleeding already but no pain yet? I'm worried this means it won't work or I won't contract enough to control the bleeding 😩

I took the tablets 9pm then second on the mouth at 12. Had mild cramping that then stopped. Didn’t start to bleed until I started to move around the next day. had slight period pains. I’ve read that. To get things moving it’s better to move around. Don’t worry everyone’s body is different I’m sure it will work just fine. Did you say you got the medication through Marie stopes? If your worries call the helpline. I called about 3 times as I didn’t have much bleeding. What time did you take them sorry? Maybe give it this eve and if your still worried give them a call? X

@Anonymous354 I took them at 15.30 so finished dissolving by 4. I am bleeding moderately - more than my period but only very small clots so far. Minimal discomfort.
I might give it an hour and phone the help line just to be sure. I almost want to pass a clot so I know everything's under control xx

Guys this might be a bit TMI but when you passed the pregnancy could you tell??
I’ve been having very heavy bleeding all day since taking the tablets and haven’t passed any clots really. Just went to the toilet and there was a loud plop and now my pain is easing. I think I felt the pregnancy come out but I’m worried it was just a big clot and should be going to a&e xx

I was very early on ...only 4 weeks but i did have a time where I felt I just need to sit on the loo. No pain but just as if something was moving down and I passed a large clot. I’ve read so many posts...and I would say from what you are describing you have passed the pregnancy. If you pain is easing maybe give it though the night? Or ring Marie stopes they told me after 9 I think it is you get straight through to a nurse. Hope your ok. Do you have Anyone with you? X

@TKL04 you don’t need to go to A&E unless you’re bleeding so much that you’re regularly getting through a ‘heavy’ pad in less than an hour, or in severe pain. It sounds like the worst of it may be over for you, fingers crossed.

Thanks guys. Still having relative heavy bleeding but it seems to have slowed down and the pain has eased! I was getting regular contractions building up to passing the sac but now it’s just general bad period cramps. I’m hoping I’m nearly through xx

Hope your feeling ok today and managed to get some rest x

How are you @TKL04? Everything ok?

Feeling much better today thanks. Bleeding is like a period now. Still having some cramping and feel very tired but wasn't too bad. Emotionally I keep having moments of guilt and sadness but I've done the right thing.

Hope everyone's doing ok. Thank you so much for supporting me through this 🥰 xx

Glad to hear it! Be kind to yourself, your hormones will still be doing odd things.

Just after a bit of advice/ reassurance.
I believe I passed the pregnancy on Saturday night. Since then my bleeding has slowed. I was getting some cramping yesterday but seems to have pretty much gone today. Bleeding is very light but still fresh 'red' blood.
The only thing that's bothering me is I have this constant feeling of needing to wee. I'm hoping it's just a uti but I don't have any burning or stinging, just pressure. Contacted Marie stopes who advised to call GP. Currently awaiting a call back from my DR.
I'm sure this is anxiety talking but my brain keeps telling me something is stuck in my cervix and causing my uterus to fill with blood which is why I have the need to wee all the time.
I'm driving myself mad xx

Just try and relax. I had a strange pressure to the left side and I convinced myself I had an eptopic pregnancy. I had a really traumatic labour last year so like yourself had so much anxiety something was going wrong. Have you told Marie stopes you suffer with anxiety? They booked me in for a scan...but to be honest when I got there the nurses said it was too early to scan/do anything anyway as it was very early after the termination. I had exactly the same as what your experiencing. Bleeding lighter no cramps/pain but the blood was fresh and red like you say. Hope the DRs don’t keep you waiting too long x

Turns out I have a Uti! On antibiotics now 🤦🏻‍♀️.
My bleeding had slowed down quite a lot yesterday but seems to have picked up a little this morning. Still very fresh 'red' blood. Anyone else having this. Xx

@TKL04 aww sorry to hear that, that’s all u need on top of this, hope u recover quickly 🤍💜

My bleeding almost stopped on Friday night...literally could have just worn a liner it was so light. Saturday night it started again and Sunday I was heavy and passing clots again. Same yesterday, but then slowed towards the evening and this morning it’s low again. I called the clinic yesterday morning as I was worried and she said it’s totally normal for it to slow and then go heavy again and it may do this several times so please don’t worry x

Mines the same, slowed down on Friday (day after the misoprostol) and then was really heavy on Saturday and it is only just starting to ease up although it is still on the heavier side. As Petal said, try not to worry it’s normal and our bodies way of expelling the pregnancy. Hope everyone is doing ok emotionally too, it’s been harder than I anticipated xx

@holjo isn’t it just. Yesterday I was so low I couldn’t even look at a photos around the home of my children as babies, had to turn them over as I couldn’t even look at myself holding a baby. Every tv programme, advert and posts on socials was of pregnant women or babies; it was too much so I l took myself to bed at 9pm as was so low and I cried, regretted my decision. Yet this morning I feel clearer and again know it was the right thing to do. It just hormones I know but it’s so tough. Of course bleeding doesn’t help as every time I go to the toilet it’s just a reminder, I just want to feel myself again so I can start to process these thoughts. Hugs to everyone know how your all feeling xx

Bleeding definitely doesn't help. I've been quite emotional this morning too! My OH works away Monday to Friday so I'm by myself now and I think that's making it worse.

Just hope the bleeding doesn't get too bad again.

How's everyone doing with their pregnancy symptoms? I've had no nausea since I took the Misoprostol on Saturday but still have slightly sore boobs. I've heard this can take a while to fade xx

Yes still have sore boobs and still have that heavy pulling feeling in stomach, but is slightly less today so guess they’re starting to disappear. Oh gosh u poor thing I wouldn’t want to be alone so totally get how your feeling as mine used to work away too. You’re not alone tho there lots of support here for you xx