Waiting 2.5 weeks for initial consultation

[Chocsandcrisps]

Hi,

I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant on Wednesday. I'm not in the position to keep the baby and want to have a termination.

I phoned to speak with the clinic last Thursday and the earliest date I can get is Wednesday 6th of January for a phone consultation. I'm only about 4 weeks now, so a bit disappointed that it will take that long to speak to someone. I understand they are busy and it's a bad time of year with the xmas/new year hols so can't helped. I just thought I could get the tablets and do it at home when I first phoned. Will it make the termination harder the further I am in my pregnancy?

Thanks

From what I know, the risk of a medical failing is slightly higher the further along you are. Also, don’t assume you will just be sent the pills. They will determine whether you can have them posted by your medical history ect. If you’re sure about your decision I would try another abortion provider and see if you can have a consultation sooner.

Thanks Laura212, that's what I was worried about. I'm afraid there are no other alternative places here. I've got no medical issues past or present so hoping it will be okay to do it at home.

Hi OP I am in same position as you found out I was pregnant and rang BPAS this morning, not sure if that’s who you have used. My apt is 4th Jan. I wanted it sooner like you, thought I would just be able to ring and get the pills sent like that. I think I’m about 6/7 weeks now so will be around 9 when I speak to them. I’m hoping I can do it at home x

I rang BPAS this morning & got an appointment for 30th dec. much sooner than yours but still feels so long. I will be almost 7 weeks by then. I already feel really emotional about ending this pregnancy & I'm probably going to be 8 weeks by the time I get the actual pills, just makes it even worse.

Bad timing with Xmas I guess.
Hope you’re both ok x

Hey, I’m the same. I phoned Monday and earliest was the 6th. I’ve phoned other providers but they can’t fit me in unless I pay private and/or travel to them and the nearest is two hours away. I’ll be 7 weeks at time of appointment so probably coming up to 8 when, and if I qualify for postal. The dread of waking up every morning is wearing really thin. I’m firm in my decision but the wait is driving me mad. Not sure if you all want to keep in touch? Could do with a handhold as I’m not sure what to expect. I have a 2 year old, who I love dearly, but financially and psychologically I’m not ready for another. I already missed a year of being the ‘best’ mom as I had awful PND for 12 months. I refuse to risk this happening again and not being my whole self for my daughter.

Hi @YnysMon20 I’ll happily hold your hand if you’ll hold mine! I am still unsure on the decision I’m
Making although am definitely more in the terminate camp (today anyway.) I have a 3 & 1 year old and don’t think I’d cope.
How are you feeling emotionally?

I sure will! Quite relieved to have someone else to talk to! It’s so tough, none of us want to be in this position. I feel okay, I’m just more ashamed of myself and frustrated - failed contraception, failed morning after pill. I have a two year old, a very demanding job. I only just feel like I’m back on my two feet after having my little girl! How are you feeling?

Yes it will be really helpful. I feel ashamed & angry at myself too. Doesn’t sound like the right time for you. Just really overwhelmed with the decision, I don’t want another baby, not sure I’d cope with another baby but struggling with the guilt of that & the consequences of our actions.

I just want it to go away without having to do anything about it

Trust yourself to make the right choice: there isn’t wrong or right in the literal sense just what’s best for you and your family. Xx

So sorry you all find yourselves in this position especially at the moment! I've been there so if you'd like to ask any questions I dont mind. Hope you are all ok, waiting sucks. X

Thanks @Needingsupportplease I really appreciate that. I guess I’m just anxious about what to expect. My preference would be surgical and my reasons being is that I suffer horrendously with periods due to endometriosis and I had major blood loss after my little girl. I know medical is provided under ten weeks as routine due to COVID. I guess I’ll know more after consultation. Which did you have and what was your experience like? Thanks again.

@YnysMon20 no problems! Anxiety is totally normal. I felt like an awful human after 2 losses at 7 and 14 weeks, when I had my termination I had a 10 month old (had a very traumatic pregnancy, birth, illness afterwards) and my mental health couldn't go through with another baby at that time but I swayed between keeping or aborting the baby. I was just over 6 weeks and had medical they had to scan me before they would give me the medication to check location of pregnancy and how far I was, I began bleeding after the second lot of tablets and had pain for about 3 hours and not alot of blood tbh I was concerned I hadn't passed the pregnancy but had it confirmed that I had a couple of weeks later, especially as my miscarriages were horrendous with pain and bleeding. I'm not sure about endometriosis and how that would effect things. Not sure if that's useful or I've just babbled but always here for support or any questions x

Thank you @Needingsupportplease I may private message you nearer the time if you’d be happy for me too? I am so sorry to hear of your miscarriages. I do echo what you say in terms of mental health, that’s been my main factor. I was in a really bad place for 12 months with PPD - I’ve only felt the clouds start to lift the last 6 months. I’m worried about the amount of blood but I guess I need to accept what the process is and roll with it, sounds really callous I know! X

Yeah no problems, you just have to do the best thing for you and your family. Please look after yourself and thankyou. I can defo relate to those feelings! x

Hello everyone can I join please ? I have never had a termination before and I'm very scared of the procedure! I just found out last few days and I still can't quite Believe it , still
Im shock. I no I'm making the right decision but it's still something I feel awful
About. Especially dealing with pregnancy symptoms x

I agree @cherry101 dealing with being pregnant is the hardest bit when you’re firm on your decision. Hopefully we can all stay connected over the next few weeks and support each other through it. Sending gentle hugs xx

Totally understand that @cherry101 it's an awful feeling and not nice at all. The relief when it's over/once you're booked in/spoke to someone gets better each time. Hope you are ok x

Ahhh. Christmas Eve. Such bad timing isn’t it? Feel like there is a big black cloud over the whole thing... going to try & forget for now (nothing I can do) & just make Christmas special for the kids.

I’ve started experiencing the same symptom I had with both of my pregnancies (runny nose & sneezing?!) does make it worse, just a constant reminder...

Hope you’re all ok

@UsernameSpoosername I know - I feel so sick, everything is making me heave! If I didn’t have symptoms it wouldn’t be as bad. Toddler is distracting me enough although I agree I feel like I have this dark cloud hanging over me! Merry Christmas x

I'm getting a termination due to meds I'm
On causing high risk of late term miscarriage and major birth defects, plus me n partner aren't ready have been together less than a year! I sat on the phone for half hour having a Meltdown as my local family planning aren't open(Xmas eve obv silly me!) I just wanted to see if I could just get an appointment I would feel better! Will have to wait Til next week now when they open.

Has anyone told close family ? I only told my partner and broke and told my mum she's a nurse and she was very blunt but supportive.
Been getting lightheaded and dizzy makin sure I'm eating. So glad to have found this thread xx hope
You all
Trying to enjoy Xmas eve xx

@cherry101 I’m sorry to hear that about the medication, it must be so tough. I have to say I was quite surprised I had to wait 2.5 weeks, to think I could’ve had it over and done with earlier. You’ll feel better once you have spoken to them. I broke down on the phone and the lady was so supportive - she said to call back at any time if I needed to talk and to try and put it at the back of my mind for now as easy as it is said than done. I’ve told my husband who fully respects and agrees with the decision, which has made it easier. I’ve told my best friend too who was also supportive. I haven’t told my mom, she’d be devastated and would try and talk me out of it. She had me and my brother close together so I don’t feel she would understand and I’d rather now put strain on our relationship. I have toyed with telling my brother, sounds odd but we’re really close! I’m keeping busy today which has helped. The last two days were awful though. xx

How is everyone doing ? In my situation I think the less people that know the better! Is anyone having symptoms? I'm
Having terrible nausea and indigestion ! Not long took
Some gaviscon ! Hope it helps xx

My boobs are really sensitive and I get waves of sickness. I felt relatively okay all day but seem to be having a bit of a wobble again!

Hi everyone, I'm sorry to hear you are all experiencing something similar. I think this time of year does make it more difficult. I'm glad I started this thread as It's good to have people to talk about it.

I have been brushing it off as it will be fine, but as the time is passing I'm getting more worried. Doesn't help that the schools will be closed so DS will be at home with me when it happens.

I've had waves of nausea but its not been that bad and aching boobs. That was what made me do the test!

Hope you are all okay and had a good Christmas 🎄

Morning everyone! Hope everyone had a nice day yesterday! I still have aching boobs and my stomach is bloated through indigestion which makes me feel n look more pg! It's going to b hard very hard when your dc are at home with you. I will have my dd with me too! I'm hoping she can go to her dads! I'm also struggling to think how I will feel after it ! X hope everyone is coping ok x