19 yr old daughter just told me she is pregnant appointment booked for tomorrow

[BluePringles]

As the title say. 19 yr old Dd has just told me she is pregnant (possibly 8 weeks) and has an appointment booked to collect a termination pack tomorrow.

She has to go alone and it all has to be done at home due to covid.

I've no experience of this, so if anyone would be willing to share experiences of what to expect I'd be really grateful.

I'm currently working from home so will at least be around.

Thank you.

Our health board are not doing scans due to corona, which I do think is a disgrace. So they are working off the date of the last period.

Pack collected. Along with the tablets there are also painkillers, anti sickness tablets and antibiotics.

First tablet to be taken today. Nothing tomorrow then the other tablets and antibiotics on Thursday. Painkiller and anti sickness as needed.

😱 I think that’s awful have they even examined her ? How can they risk women’s health this way

I hope things go ok OP x

I agree. We are in a major city and this is the biggest sexual health clinic for a huge area, so not some small clinic. Although we have been under tight restricts for 8 weeks now, I don't really think it's an excuse not to follow procedures.

Anyway, first tablet taken.

I hope things go ok for you both. Please if you are worried at any point take her up a and e just in case , I’m sure her dates are what the dr estimated and that it will go as it’s meant to but any doubts or concerns seek medical advice
It’s a difficult thing to go through and you sound lovely and supportive to your dd

I had a termination when I was younger and was much like your daughter, very practical and methodical about it all. I knew I wasn't ready for a baby and too young/selfish/immature to give a child proper care and attention etc etc. I was fine until after the procedure was done, and I then had a moment later in the day and a big old cry about it. Just be prepared for if that happens and it doesn't mean that she has changed her mind or regrets it, but it's just a big thing to go through and the hormones will be through the roof (probably more likely after 2nd pill). Just remind her that she has done what was right for her and that you're not angry or judging her. She's lucky to have you, I didn't feel I could tell my mum and to this day (10 years later) I still haven't told her.

Also, after mine, I went back to work and the cramps were ridiculous and one of my colleagues (who I told I just had period pains) gave me Buscopan and said although it's for IBS, it helped his wife's period pains. It was a miracle cure, if you don't have any in, get some! Paracetamol wasn't touching the sides but this helped massively.

@WingingItMumma

Also, after mine, I went back to work and the cramps were ridiculous and one of my colleagues (who I told I just had period pains) gave me Buscopan and said although it's for IBS, it helped his wife's period pains. It was a miracle cure, if you don't have any in, get some! Paracetamol wasn't touching the sides but this helped massively.

Both of your posts give such thoughtful advice

Thanks everyone for being so kind and for all the helpful advice. It really is much appreciated.

I'm a single parent and I haven't told anyone in real life so it's been nice to talk it out here

My daughter was very sick. Was sorting on the loo with an upset tummy and being sick at the same time, bF was with her she had pain killers and slept in between / loss sick rest. A good night sleep and 3 days later went to a football match it's not nice but Also it's bearable

Thanks Minty that's helpful to know. She's been given anti sickness tablets so might be worth taking one tomorrow at the same time as a precaution then.

I helped my friend recently and she bought a pack of the tena lady pants for the first few days so she just put into a rubbish sack and didn't have to see, might be an idea. (Think they even have black ones now)

So this morning as been quite rough and she doesn't even take the second lot of tablets until 8am tomorrow. She's been sick quite and lot and has had some cramps but is sleeping now. Sickness came on really suddenly so hasn't taken anti sickness tablets but have done now so hopefully that will keep it at bay for a bit.

Feel so sorry for her.

You sound like a lovely mum. (Sorry nothing else to add, no experience) Good luck to you all.

I was so glad to read a post by a loving, supportive mother. Well done. Top work, OP.

Thank you

Sickness continued on and off all day but she managed to keep down potatoes later on so that was something!! Physically I think it's taking its toll, but emotionally she seems to be doing ok for now. But I know that might change tomorrow/later

He boyfriend is here and will stay tonight and tomorrow (I know that's not allowed but I don't care at this point) she's to take the tablets at 8am and I'm working from home so will be around all day too. I've read the worst is over in about 6 hours so hope that's the case.

Thanks again

Thanks for the info. I won’t be having the medical abortion.

@pcar3345 you are way of the mark. The boyfriend is clearly there for support not sex. Most of the country is in some form of lockdown and households shouldn’t be mixing etc.

Also birth defects are high.

You are an amazing mum. You need to realise how good you are, she could have easily not told you, but you must be doing something right to gain her trust and support!! I don't have a mum like you, but would have loved that support, love and reassurance.

Not sure medically how they can't scan to be safe, I know lots of women who have had periods when pregnant and estimated pregnancy dates but have been several weeks out when scanned, surely that's dodgy when dealing with abortions.

I also think it would be wrong for you to abide by the 'COVID rules'. Times like this are unique and doing the 'right thing' would cause more damage than not. I'm glad her partner and family are there for her, I'm so impressed you've obviously done a great job raising her if you have any tips please let me know 😂

Hi I’m urgently going through a medical termination at home. I’m 8+5 and took the first tab yesterday. Have had period like cramps since last night and spotting. I have severe sickness and nausea whilst pregnant so not sure if this is the pregnancy or the the tablet. I wish her all the luck bless her xx

@BluePringles I hope everything is going ok OP I’m thankful to have no experience in this area but I just wanted to say that you sound like an amazing Mum
Your daughter will forever remember how you handled this situation and I have no doubt that she will feel comfortable coming to you with anything life may throw at her ❤️
I don’t have that same relationship with my own Mum unfortunately (she describes herself as a “hands off mother” 🤷🏻‍♀️😂) but I’m currently 39.5 weeks pregnant and I pray that I manage to raise my son or daughter to feel comfortable coming to me with anything, like your daughter has ❤️

Thank you everyone, I am glad she told me I would hate for her to be doing this alone.

She seems ok this morning, no more sickness so far, and second lot of tablets taken.

In regards to her boyfriend I just meant that we are in one of the strictest areas of lockdown but I am ignoring that for now I'm sure this would be an exemption anyway.

I agree that the lack of service currently available is terrible. She has had nothing more than a 5 min consultation over the phone and when collecting the pack it was handed over by a receptionist, no opportunity for questions etc. There is a helpline number that is opened 9am til 7pm and 4pm on a Friday. Otherwise it's A and E. not ideal really is it!

@Cheesestring19 I hope you are ok too, pop back to the thread if you want to talk or need some company. I hope all goes well for you.