Want to talk about my positive abortion experience

[flowerpotwomen]

I had a termination a month ago. When I say 'positive experience' obviously it's not something I would ever have wanted to do. But it happened.
I had a medical abortion at 9 weeks and was expecting hell after reading horrendous stories on the internet, so I'm putting this out there for balance.

Deliberated for a few days after discovering I was pregnant and decided I couldn't continue with the pregnancy for many reasons. Rang BPAS and they booked me in for an appointment in 4 weeks time. I took the appointment, though a few days later realised that would put me past the threshold for being able to have a medical abortion at home, so cancelled it.

Called Marie Stopes who got me a quicker appointment at a local NHS hospital. I went a few weeks later and discovered I was 7 weeks and 5 days pregnant. There was a friendly older midwife as well as a trainee present. They did an internal scan which I was scared of, but I barely felt it and it was done very discretely. She didn't even look as she did it, and she didn't show me the screen. They talked me through my options. I decided on the medical abortion and wanted to go home to pass the pregnancy rather than do a day in hospital.

I came back the following week, on Tuesday. I took a pill orally and was told this would help to end the pregnancy, some nausea and spotting is normal. I didn't have any side effects and went about my day as normal.

The next day, Wednesday, I came back in. I was given four pills and told I could take them orally or have them inserted into my vagina. I decided to take them orally. They also gave me a suppository antibiotic. I was terrified of this but was told how to insert it myself and did it in the bathroom - it was fine and couldn't feel it after 5 minutes.
I was told to expect cramps, pain, and heavy bleeding. I was only in there 15 minutes.

My sister picked me up and took me home. I went straight to bed around 10am. I watched Netflix and read magazines pretty much all day, and drank lots of water and ate snacks. It was quite relaxing to be honest! Around 1pm I started feeling light cramping, nothing bad, but I took 2 ibuprofen and 2 paracetamol anyway as a sort of preventative.

Around 2pm I felt a gushing sensation, went to the toilet and a large amount of blood came out as well as some sort of sac or clot. I didn't really look but I could feel it coming. It didn't hurt at all. This happened every 30 minutes for the next few hours. I had no pain at all, just occasionally felt the like blood was going to come, went to the toilet, and it did. I never flooded my pad or anything like that. By about 5pm I was just bleeding like a normal period, changing my pad every 3 or so hours.

I slept really well that night. I did sleep on a towel just in case as I do leak even on normal periods when I use pads which is why I usually use a mooncup.

After 3 days the bleeding went down to being very light - I just wore a panty liner every day for the following 2 weeks in case of any blood. There was usually a small amount.

Took a pregnancy test 3 weeks after the date of the abortion and it came back negative.

I have no sense of regret or sadness about the situation - it wasn't the right time for another baby, I was just relieved that termination was an option for me. It was so much simpler and less painful than I thought. The staff in the hospital were kind respectful and non-judgemental, too.

If anyone has any questions I'm happy to answer them.

I'm glad your experience was painless and relatively easy. Don't like to think of people suffering.

Onwards and upwards .

Thank you for this OP. I took the first pill today and feeling very nervous about the follow up tomorrow. Been very emotional this evening and just want it all over with. I really hope (but trying not to expect) my experience will be like yours - the horror stories out there are awful to read so it's comforting to see another side. Thanks again and glad you're doing well.

I'm glad you had a pleasant experience with this. Myself had a surgical abortion roughly 2 months ago! I was not in the right place emotionally to have another child so that's why I decided an abortion was best, to make things worse I was in the middle of moving areas. Previous area did appointment over the phone, next app in person in new area to do bloods and scan, turned out I was nearly 13wks. Booked for surgery (that's what they call it) the following week. The team were reassuring, friendly. They sedated me so I could have the procedure feeling nothing. I came around and the staff were lovely. I waited in recovery room with tea and biscuits until I was ready to leave. All in all I bled for about 2weeks then continued to spot for a further 2 weeks. My drowsiness wore off after 24hours and cramps disappeared after 72hours. I wasnt in any pain or uncomfortableness really.

We need more positive abortion stories!

I wouldn't call it "pleasant", but I'm really glad it went smoothly

@WearItLikeArmour here if you need to talk lovely. Good luck with it x

Thanks for posting, OP. It's good to hear that things went smoothly for you

Great Post OP, I'm glad it went smoothly. I had a termination a few years ago and where I live, you have to stay on until the sac passes and the bleeding slows. I'm glad it was like this because I had retained products which had to be removed manually. But mine is not a normal experience.

I too experience no more than an occasional pang of what might have been. Another baby would have been a bad outcome for me at that time.

I had a surgical abortion and everything went really smoothly. I was at a Marie Stopes and the worst thing was that they had a cooking program on in the waiting room and I was hungry!

The staff were all so lovely and friendly. As I was being given anaesthetic a chatty nurse blabbed reassuringly on about family and plans for the weekend. Next thing I knew I was waking up in the next room.

I bled like a regular period and went home with a hot water bottle and Netflix.

I planned a family-as-it-is day for what would have been my due date where I appreciated my three kids and was thankful I didn't also have a baby to deal with. I often think about how awful it would be to have had another child to deal with and do not in any way regret my decision.

When making the decision I mourned slightly for the life I would have to have been living to make having another child viable (I'd be rich, not have to work, live in a beautiful big house in a beautiful area and be the earth mother I wasn't really to the others. I'd breastfeed on demand for baby until it went off to uni an feed all the local children with magnanimity, while making food with the veg I grew in my enormous garden and talking to animals like a Disney princess).

OP I'd like to PM you a question if you don't mind, please. I don't think its appropriate for a public forum.

Aw thanks so much @flowerpotwomen. Touch wood I've also had a 'good' experience today (assuming it's about done at this point - I think it is). I'm sure there are many awful abortions but personally it has been worlds away from most of what I've read online. Your post really helped me last night so I think I will also post my experience in due course xx

@Bobbiepin of course go ahead x

Thank you for posting this. I’ve found myself unexpectedly pregnant with the coil. I have an appointment with my GP tomorrow morning to start the ball rolling for a termination. We already have two DC and we are in no position to have a third. I think I’m around 6 weeks and I’m hoping I can have a medical abortion at home, so at least I can time it around the kids being in bed or school. I’ve been quite nervous about it because of the pain and nausea so this has really helped that worry.

When making the decision I mourned slightly for the life I would have to have been living to make having another child viable (I'd be rich, not have to work, live in a beautiful big house in a beautiful area and be the earth mother I wasn't really to the others. I'd breastfeed on demand for baby until it went off to uni an feed all the local children with magnanimity, while making food with the veg I grew in my enormous garden and talking to animals like a Disney princess).

I love this

Two was my ‘remaining mentally healthy limit’ (and DH’s) and I realised I needed to stick to that to be a good mum. I often think things like this when I am sad about it. To have had another our lives and personalities would have needed to be significantly different.

Bluth I hope you are doing Ok and have set things in motion with your GP?

I also really like the idea of a ‘family as it is day’. Anniversaries can be hard and planning something like that, or a nice holiday or weekend away is a really good idea.

Thank's Emmapeeler. My gp was really helpful, I have an appointment next week for the scan and consultation. It'll probably be the week after for the treatment, if it takes another week for that appointment. It feels so slow - if I had found out any later than I did I probably wouldn't be able to have a medical termination. I'll be around 7 weeks by the time I get scanned. This is my third pregnancy and like you 2 is my "remaining mentally healthy" limit, without even considering that I'm meant to be restarting my career after taking a few years out for the DC. The symptoms have already started and they're a bit harder to tolerate knowing what the outcome will be.

Hi all. I'm currently lying in bed after taking the second dose of a medical abortion this morning. I was scanned yesterday and I am nearly 8 weeks.

It's been ok. I've had an almost identical process to the OP and I am getting up to use the toilet every half our or so now. I passed the pregnancy which was the size of a blueberry. I expected this, but still gave me a jolt.

The pain has not been too bad, but they did prescribe codeine. I was sick an hour after I'd taken the tablets, and felt a bit shivery but I have felt in control all the way through. They advised me to insert them vaginally as this reduces nausea.

This too is my third pregnancy. I personally had no qualms about ending it. It was a contraceptive failure, and DH is waiting for a vasectomy so we had certainly completed our family. I am now in a career I love, finishing a post grad qualification and we have two older DC.
If I had another it would change our whole life - we just don't have the capacity (in any sense of the word) to continue with this pregnancy.

I totally agree with bluth as I've had terrible symptoms with none of the excitement so it's been a difficult month. I get HG when pregnant and have been hospitalised with it before. I do feel guilty that I've not been that present for my children over the last month due to vomiting and exhaustion, but it's reinforced my decision.

I hope you're doing ok suckonthatmaureen. Do you think it was the medication that made you sick or just pregnancy sickness? I ask because I am emetophobic (so I'm having a wonderful time of it just now), and if I have the option to take an anti-emetic I will do so.

Bluthbanana I’m having the exact same experience as you, pregnancy after coil failed, 2 dc and don’t want anymore. 6 weeks pg and have a medical termination booked for Friday. We are on holiday next week and I’m feeling so sick and tired I just want to not be pregnant anymore, although I’m annoyed I won’t be able to go swimming with my kids! Thanks op for writing this thread it’s comforting to read. Do I need to take someone with me to drive me home? I will be about 1 hour away. I’d thought I’d just drive myself but that might be very naive?

I'm hoping to have DH at home, just so he can take charge with the DC if I'm feeling particularly rubbish.

I hope the women going through this now are doing well. I believe it is a generally positive (or at least a not-awful) experience for most women who go through it.

@Bluthbanana if you are emetophobic have you considered the surgical? I didn't mention in my previous post but I've had both surgical and medical and found the surgical much better for me for various reasons.

@Emmapeeler glad you liked the way I saw / described it, those thoughts really helped me.

@moofolk I’ve been thinking about surgical, any nerves I’ve had about having a termination have all been because of the unknown physical aspect of it (e.g. I’m already spending a lot of time dehydrated because I think the less I eat and drink the less puke there will be if my nausea turns into vomiting, and the idea of being worse while the termination is going on is a bit horrifying), but I’ve never been under a GE before so I’m also worried about the idea of feeling sick as a result of that. Ridiculous, I know. I do prefer the idea of going in to the hospital and then coming out and it all being done though.

Honestly @Bluthbanana I found the surgical so smooth. It's not a full GA it's a sedation. I went into a room, on a chair not lying down (ok a weird chair), with a few people in scrubs and a super chatty nurse talking about kids and real general stuff, next thing I know I'm coming to in a room of other women.

The medical, for me, was a bit of a palaver. It's was fine, not traumatic, but my womb doesn't give up its contents easily as attested by previous very long labour / two c sections. Feel free to DM x

This was at Marie Stopes btw I contacted th directly rather than going through BPAS

I'm in Scotland so not able to access Marie Stopes. The only BPAS is in Glasgow. I had my appointment today, booked to go back in for an early medical termination. I wasn't given the option of a surgical, and I felt like the nurse was just rushing through a checklist of "Ok, you're 6+2, so medical termination. You'll feel awful and have an upset stomach, here's a recommendation for travel sickness tablets". When that upset me she assumed I was upset at having a termination, and I didn't get a chance to explain myself.