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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Pregnancy choices

Breast is best ?

65 replies

andreagibson · 20/12/2017 06:25

Hello,

First time post:

16 weeks pregnant.

Was wandering if anyone had pumped from the breast and how they found this? Im looking for pros and cons.

My thoughts are that i don't want the baby too attached as i think it could be unhealthy for me, so i thought i would pump and then feed the baby. People have appeared to be agreeing with my idea but cant seem to find someone who has also done this.

OP posts:
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rightsofwomen · 20/12/2017 06:29

May I ask why your baby being attached is a problem for you?

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eeanne · 20/12/2017 06:30

Exclusive pumping is hard work - respect to women who manage it!

Why are you worried about your baby being too attached to you?

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Kit1411 · 20/12/2017 06:30

Hi, I started off with breastfeeding then when he was around 6-12 weeks (can’t remember exactly as he’s 5 now) I started to pump with a pump I hired from my local children’s centre. He took to the bottle fine in the day from my partner / Mum when they wanted to help then breast again at night. I didn’t pump all the time as was quite time consuming but I also wanted to increase my milk as I don’t think I was eating and drinking as much as I should’ve so it helped a bit. I got some breast milk bags from home bargains.

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Dsmummy · 20/12/2017 06:32

I know people that have and it has to be done around the clock including through the night. It's a big commitment, it can be done though.
The cons are that your body might not respond to a pump, I barely get anything to come out!
I only pump for a stock in the freezer though for if I need to go somewhere without baby.

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Mulch · 20/12/2017 06:33

Don't want a baby attached? Might be better with a cat

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kshaw · 20/12/2017 06:40

Christ some people are judgemental. How about you just answer her question or don't reply???

I was breast feeding but due to baby having bad jaundice had to be bottle fed due to needing to know volume of Liquid consumed. I pumped what I could and topped up with formula. I think this didn't allow my milk to come in properly as never produced a lot - 30minute pumping for 30ml - was exhausting to say the least. After the bottles baby wouldn't latch on to me then (and had zero support from any health professionals) - I kept up expressing and topping up for 8 weeks before was just too much and I was producing so little I gave up. Still feel a bit guilty but got a very happy 9 month old.

I felt the same about becoming too attached - I wanted to still be able to have a life and be able to share her with my DP but once arrived that feeling went away quickly!!

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andreagibson · 20/12/2017 06:43

Wo wo wo wo.... so i said TOO attached... so
I dont want my baby constantly needing me and upset every time i pass the baby over to someone else. I also want to be able to enjoy mother hood. For my own sanity id like to still have a date night once a fortnight and be able to leave the baby with family knowing that my baby wont be distressed... yes i understand its my duty to bond and all that and im sure i will, ill be spending most time with my baby. Im a medical professional whos grated full maternity i have loads of time but i want everyone to be able to hold and feed my baby. I think a baby constantly needing one person is an unhealthy attachment ....

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rightsofwomen · 20/12/2017 06:45

shaw I asked because I felt I couldn’t give an informed response without knowing the OP’s reasons for being concerned about attachment.

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BertieBotts · 20/12/2017 06:46

Also curious about what you mean re attachment being unhealthy for you.

Exclusively espressing can be done but is very hard work. In most cases you end up doing twice the work! If you're unsure about breastfeeding or feel very strongly about not doing all the feeds you could look into combination feeding where you breastfeed some of the time and formula feed to supplement.

If you want to find resources about only expressing do a Google for exclusive pumping, this is the American term and it's much more common there due to mothers often needing to return to work very early.

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andreagibson · 20/12/2017 06:47

Thanks you kshaw.. i really like that idea, i also like that you can monitor the volume your child is having which is defiantly appealing.
My friend gives her child formula and he sleeps perfectly, more so than people i have seen who breast feed and iv always thought i wonder if its because the child has a full stomach (like satisfied).

Thanks for the comment Grin

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BertieBotts · 20/12/2017 06:48

Ah I see ok, well none of that is guaranteed from breastfeeding. IME it directly correlates to how involved the baby's dad is, and how much you have other adults involved in their care too. It doesn't seem to matter how youfeed them.

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BertieBotts · 20/12/2017 06:49

Anecdotally yes it's true formula fed babies tend to sleep more earlier. However getting up in the night to formula feed is far more disturbing than breastfeeding at night, so I'm not sure it makes it any easier.

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rightsofwomen · 20/12/2017 06:50

OP I would encourage you to do some reading about attachment, BF, ways in which a new Mum copes with the challenges of a baby and her sense of self, how others can be involved etc.

I think you’re jumping way ahead of yourself here. Exclusive expressing is very hard.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 20/12/2017 06:52

Have a read about attachment in babies. It is completely normal for babies to be very securely attached to their primary caregiver. Normally mum. Regardless of feeding. Little tiny babies can be passed around but get more and more attached to one or maybe two people. About 8 months in DD's case was when she was most clingy to me. Again, very common and normal and healthy.

Attachment is no reason not to BF. You can BF for the first few weeks to get it established, pass baby around for cuddles and everything else, then express for evenings out, extra sleep or someone else feeding. When BF is established.

Exclusive pumping is extremely difficult. You've got the worst of both worlds. You are solely responsible for feeding the baby but you don't have the convenience of BF (have boobs, will travel!).

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Greenshoots1 · 20/12/2017 06:53

you might feel very differently once the baby is in your arms.

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eggofmantumbi · 20/12/2017 06:55

Don't assume a formula fed baby will sleep perfectly either!

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BertieBotts · 20/12/2017 06:56

RIE is something I've been reading about recently you might want to Google, it's an alternative to the attachment parenting model for early infancy. I don't know enough about it to know if it's for me yet but it was interesting reading.

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RicStar · 20/12/2017 06:57

Exclusive pumping is imo very hard work. You have to pump everytime the baby needs to feed and then you have to feed the baby - so it is very time consuming. I pumped a little bit with my first but not at all with my second - no time. If you want to have a bit more free time then this is not the solution I don't think -especially not in the early days. Babies are pretty portable so you may find you don't want / need to leave them that often at all or you may want to consider formula / mixed feeding. Pumping a little once supply is established is also and option but you have to see how you get on with a pump etc.

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Dsmummy · 20/12/2017 06:57

No matter what, your baby will probably cling, it's not unhealthy to be attached to their mother.
Yes babies sleep heavily on formula, it's because it's a little too heavy for them and their tummies have to work harder to digest it.
I did wonder if you had had something sinister in your past that meant you didn't want to do it but as it's just fear of over attachment I will say that when your baby comes you may well find all those thoughts disappear! Lol
Breastfeeding (for me) is so much easier and it's only for a short time in the long run. Good luck whatever you decide

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andreagibson · 20/12/2017 06:58

Thanks for the comments i will defiantly have a look at the web suggestions. I didnt know that there was so much on baby attachment. I may feel different its a first time thing for me and i have yet to thoroughly discuss this with a midwife.

But thank you cus i am looking for opinions. Not someone telling me to get a cat instead... sounds like they live with 50 cats and live alone

But thank you so much, my midwife told me to pop on as she said its about people going through similar experiences

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PineappleScrunchie · 20/12/2017 06:58

I had to pump for dc3 because he was in hospital for a while after birth and it was not possible for me to stay overnight. It was the worst of both worlds! My routine was this:

Feed baby bottle
Wind baby
Settle baby to sleep
Set up pump
Pump 20 mins (had a double pump)
Label and store milk
Clean pump
Wash bottles
Sterilise
Rest/shower/eat for 1hr
Start again at the beginning

With the others that I breastfed it was:
Feed baby lying down in bed (20-30mins)
Baby and I would go back to sleep for a few hours.
Repeat

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MrsTerryPratchett · 20/12/2017 06:58

Babies are more efficient at stimulating milk than a pump so the baby is likely to be quicker than pumping as well. And some people can feed but can't pump.

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firsttimer12345 · 20/12/2017 07:01

Have a read up about the 4th trimester. It's normal for baby to be attached to start as they haven't realised they are born!
My DD is 4 months now and we have left her twice with our parents. She has been perfectly happy but I think any earlier, maybe not.

I exclusively express for her as I am already back at work, mostly from home with her present. DH is also working from home so we probably share care more evenly than most couples.

I will not sugar coat it for you. It is hard work. I spend 6+ hours on the pump over 24 hours. Add in to this general newborn care, not sleeping, having to feed baby and pump during the night.

Things have just started getting a little easier as I have dropped my middle of the night pump. I still pump 7 times a day, last at 10:30pm and then first at 6am so I should get about 6 1/2 hours sleep. DD does usually sleep through but not always and she definitely didn't for a while. I know FF babies that don't sleep through so this is not a guarantee.

We started trying to nurse but DD lost a lot of weight and struggled transferring the milk. The hospital asked us to measure all feeds so here we are!

DD will be going to GPs 3 mornings a week from Jan so will be able to send her with plenty of milk.

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ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 20/12/2017 07:03

I breastfed and pumped from Day 1 because she had jaundice. She was passed around like a parcel from the first visiting time in hospital and was fine with it. Mostly her dad and grandparents, but anywhere we went, someone wanted to hold the baby. She didn't become overly clingy and slept through from 3 months. She was always ok being babysat by grandparents. I went back to work at 7 months and she settled beautifully with the childminder. Although by that point she had decided she didn't like bottles so unless she was desperate she didn't drink the milk I left for her.

Exclusive pumping is seriously hard work. I've known friends do it for tiny preemies and for a baby who couldn't feed for medical reasons. It's much more time-consuming than feeding the baby directly.

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eurochick · 20/12/2017 07:03

I expressed as I had a premmie baby who never got the hang of latching. It's a pain in the arse - all of the pain of feeding (that weird let down feeling, cracked nipples, engorgement, etc) plus all of the faff of bottle feeding. I would have much preferred to breast feed.

Your concerns about attachment seem a bit...odd. A baby being well-attached to its parent is a good thing. Even if you breastfeed someone else can still give the baby a bottle of expressed milk or formula.

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