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Breast is best ?

65 replies

andreagibson · 20/12/2017 06:25

Hello,

First time post:

16 weeks pregnant.

Was wandering if anyone had pumped from the breast and how they found this? Im looking for pros and cons.

My thoughts are that i don't want the baby too attached as i think it could be unhealthy for me, so i thought i would pump and then feed the baby. People have appeared to be agreeing with my idea but cant seem to find someone who has also done this.

OP posts:
Newbiecat · 20/12/2017 07:05

I don't mean to sound harsh but I too think you need to read around breastfeeding more. I'm a medical professional and I am currently breastfeeding my 3rd child (1 year) whilst back at work. I combination fed my first two from 4-6 weeks due to jaundice and slow weight gain. This settled into a pattern of my husband giving an evening bottle ( mostly expressed but formula sometimes) I would express before going to bed earlier so I had a block of sleep early on. As the babies got older this meant we could go out occassionally knowing Nana could give the dreamfeed if they woke.
Number 3 child, however, will not take any form of teat without gagging! It's fine now he only feeds morning and night so we work around it. All babies are different so you just don't quite know what yours will be like.
As others have said, pumping can be very boring and time consuming- I hated it! And all the washing and sterilising is a pain.
When I read your post it made me think- do you really want to do this, or would you rather formula feed but being a medical professional feel you are pushed to BF? Formula feeding is fine if you do choose it! Just make sure you are fully informed re milk supply/pumping etc. La leche website is good.
Good luck!

60percentofthetime · 20/12/2017 07:06

I tried to BF but couldn't, and I couldn't pump either, and hour only produced 10ml for me, it was exhausting. So formula it was. Once you get into the habit of cleaning/sterilising it's fine but both my boys were still super clingy, and my youngest still wakes 2/3 times in the night, he's 16 months.
I think you just have to go with the flow, there's no teaching a baby not to be clingy because you want a date night or something.

AdalindSchade · 20/12/2017 07:06

I think a baby constantly needing one person is an unhealthy attachment

Curious as to why you think that? All evidence about infant development indicates the opposite. Are you worried about the baby being too dependent on you? Does that make you feel anxious?

userabcname · 20/12/2017 07:10

If you aren't sure about breastfeeding, then I'd formula feed. Exclusive pumping is very difficult. Establishing breastfeeding takes a lot of commitment and the first 8 weeks basically feel like all you do is feed.
That being said, formula does not guarantee good sleep and your baby will want you the most to begin with as it's a difficult and scary transition for them from womb to the world!

AssassinatedBeauty · 20/12/2017 07:11

Exclusively expressing is a massive job of work. Plus, some women find they struggle to express as it's less efficient than direct feeding.

If you don't want to be solely responsible for feeding and to be able to spend several hours away from your baby from the early days then maybe formula feeding is the best option for you. Then you don't need to express and can just feed the baby, plus your partner or who ever else can do as much of the feeding as you like. It seems from what you've written that you think formula is probably better than breastfeeding, so just go for that.

TittyGolightly · 20/12/2017 07:15

Anecdotally yes it's true formula fed babies tend to sleep more earlier.

A scientific study by Swansea university found it was not the case.

OP, I did EE when standard breastfeeding didn’t happen. Whilst it was very easy for the first few months as I had good supply, I regularly had blocked ducts and bleeding nipples. I had to pump every 4 hours without fail (including at night), even when DD started going longer between feeds. I had to express mid-spa day, in the back of the car on longer journeys, an aeroplane toilet..... it’s not glamorous. Then there were the fenugreek pills and oats to keep supply up. And the bottle sterilising, freezing milk, having to manage trips out so as not to waste milk or miss pumping. I managed to pump 12 months worth of milk in 9 months.

All with a husband working away and no family within 300 miles. I think we went to the cinema when DD was about 9 months old. I was way to knackered to before that whether DH was Home or not!

Would I do it again? Probably not.

Most important thing with being a parent is realistic expectations. Reading up on Bowlby’s attachment work, the fourth trimester, Magda Gerber and Janet Lansbury for RIE will be a great investment of your time.

andreagibson · 20/12/2017 07:15

Yess !!! That exactly it !! I have not a clue about midwifery or having a baby but i lolk at my neices and they screen murder every second the mum isnt around and they will only even look at certain people its disturbing to me.

They are beautiful girls but i cant believe how much they cry unless mum, dad or nanny has them. I see the tiredness and yes your right im anxious that this would cause me some serious damage as the mum is just ..... well... struggling, alot ! But with friends kids i dont see this and they didnt breast feed ? So i came to the conclusion that this might be because the process of feeding is how the baby responds to as feeling comfortuble ?
I might be completely wrong but we've all learnt through experiences we've seen

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 20/12/2017 07:16

What sort of medical professional are you, OP?

TittyGolightly · 20/12/2017 07:17

Babies have a biological need to have strong attachment to a small number of care givers. You can cause them serious lifelong issues by not responding to their inate needs. I’m concerned that you don’t realise how much this baby will change your life. It’s a little person, not a cat.

andreagibson · 20/12/2017 07:17

No
RMN. But thats irrelevant, i know nothing about midwifery. Only post natal psychosis

OP posts:
andreagibson · 20/12/2017 07:18

What is it with people and cats lol

OP posts:
kshaw · 20/12/2017 07:20

@andreagibson I didn't say she slept well!! I don't think there's a link with that, either that or I have a baby that just doesn't like sleep!! She is nearly 9months and still wakes once a night minimum for food - but I've bottle fed on demand, let her take what she wants when she wants no set times. So maybe more of a routine would have helped

TittyGolightly · 20/12/2017 07:21

Okay. PNP is pretty rare though.

AssassinatedBeauty · 20/12/2017 07:22

Please have a little read about child development at some point. Babies need to form secure attachments to primary carers. It is very normal for babies to want to be with a handful of people that they know. It's not a problem or a sign of issues.

Adviceplease360 · 20/12/2017 07:26

I think a baby constantly needing one person is an unhealthy attachment

Maybe you shouldn't have decided to get pregnant then.

Babies need a primary care giver to form an attachment to, you should read a book seeing as you're a super clever health care professional.

gingergenius · 20/12/2017 07:30

I fear you're in for a bit of a surprise OP. You may have a baby that does as you expect but it's unlikely. Babies cry. Babies want Mum. It's normal and natural. You sound slightly over zealous in your need to control what often cannot be controlled. By all means try (I pumped with my first) but I bf as well and my son was the clingiest of babies. I have 3. You survive the chaos I promise!

Hugepeppapigfan · 20/12/2017 07:31

I BF and my now-toddler is an excellent sleeper. I know FF babies who are rubbish sleepers. And vice-versa so I wouldn’t make a feeding decision based on that.

I expressed for one bottle daily as my DC was born prematurely and I had got into the habit of expressing to tube feed her. When she started BFing directly I continued to express for one bottle a day for over a year. Even that was hard work and a big commitment so I can’t imagine exclusively expressing.

This is a good information site: kellymom.com/mother2mother/exclusive-pumping/
American but lots of women there are not fortunate to have decent maternity leave so exclusive pumping is something that is more common.

BFing directly is far easier than expressing. My child is not at all clingy to me and has a very close bond with her dad. Bonding is about far more than feeding. Her dad was heavily involved in all other aspects of her care from when she was born (nappies, baths, playing, cuddles, stories......).

user1499786242 · 20/12/2017 07:43

Ha ha I felt the same
Didn't want an attached baby...eurgh no
Wasn't going to breastfeed, would have plenty of 'me' time and date nights....

Well 2.3 years later he's still breastfeeding, co sleeping and I've never left him for more than an hour! And I wouldn't change it for the world...

Just wait and see how you feel would be my advice...

JoJoSM2 · 20/12/2017 07:44

Yes, have a read about secure attachment. Basically, it’s healthy for a baby to be very strongly attached to you and for you to react to its needs swiftly. As children get older, they will gradually find their independence- it will be a natural process that goes with their age and development.

Trying to force a baby to be independent and not need you won’t work and can only scar them for life.

boatrace30 · 20/12/2017 07:48

Exclusive pumping is crazily hard, my friend did it and I was sooo impressed.
Why not breastfeed but pump as well so you can share feeding.

We did this (not in first 4 weeks) but id often pump so dh could give an evening feed. Or so that we could go out. It needn't be all or nothing.

AfunaMbatata · 20/12/2017 07:53

It’s children who DONT have a secure attachment that show signs of being “overly attached”. Children with a secure attachment are generally happy to be away from main care giver (within reason).

rightsofwomen · 20/12/2017 07:56

It’s children who DONT have a secure attachment that show signs of being “overly attached”. Children with a secure attachment are generally happy to be away from main care giver (within reason).

^THIS^

Knowing that they can rely on Mum when they need her breeds (IMO) a child who is happy to venture off and explore.

eeanne · 20/12/2017 07:57

I don’t live in the UK and had to go back to work at 4 months. I introduced a bottle at 2 months so baby could take a bottle and I could go out. After the first 6 weeks or so it became pretty easy to go out and leave her with a caregiver. I exclusively BF for more than a year despite several overseas business trips and a weekend away with DH.

BF is not all consuming except at the beginning.

PickingOakum · 20/12/2017 08:00

I exclusively pump, have done so since day 3 when my milk came in, and my experience is very different to those above. I've been doing it now for 13 weeks.

I pump three times a day on both sides until my breasts feel completely soft and empty. This will usually harvest enough milk for more than a days worth of feeds. It takes me a couple of hours in a morning and then an hour-ish around 3pm and then another hour-ish at about 8pm. The whole lot goes into the fridge or the freezer for use during the day or more long term storage.

I've very rarely pumped overnight, maybe once or twice if I've felt a bit uncomfortable.

I do not find it hard work at all. If anything, it's more convenient than breastfeeding because feeds can be done by someone else and are done at bottle feeding speeds. As it is breastmilk, feeds do not increase in volume as the baby gets older either. The tend to take an average of 750 ml every day throughout the first 6 months.

I, along with other exclusive pumpers, have found you really don't need to pump every two hours (aping a newborn feeding schedule) so long as when you pump, you pump to "emptiness" and you pump before your breasts get too engorged.

I suspect pumping when your newborn has a feed (ie. pumping every two hours) is why some mothers end up with three months of breast milk in the freezer; they are essentially over-pumping.

I've also found that pumps with hard plastic cup flanges are poorer at drawing milk than those with a silicon inlay (I got significantly less pumped milk using a medela than my cheapy tommee tippee pump).

I really don't know why there is such a strong negative reaction to exclusive pumping. I suspect it is because people believe they need to pump very regularly so it becomes very time consuming. I was told by a breastfeeding specialist that there was no way I'd keep it up in even the short term. Yet here I am, three months on.

I find it massively convenient because dd is entirely breastmilk-fed, anyone can feed her, and we can go anywhere in between pumps without me having to think about where I could breastfed if she got hungry. I just take a couple of bottles with me. It also means that I can go out in the evening (sometimes I will pump earlier and later so that I've 7pm to midnight free).

All that said, I do have large boobs and did start pumping when my milk came in (I started pumping because my latch went awry when I brought dd home and I was terrified of a poor latch affecting my supply in those early days. My boobs were also rock hard and I needed to drain some milk asap. Once I did, I never looked back).

OhBuggerandArse · 20/12/2017 08:00

Have a look at some of Bowlby's work on the mother-baby dyad. Summary and some other basic contextualisation in this more recent article: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3223373/

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