I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or just someone to listen if just need to write this all down.
I found out I was pregnant last week. I'm currently 5.5 weeks. The pregnancy wasn't planned and we were using protection.
We have 2 boys already, my oldest is almost 5 and youngest will be 2 in April.
We have always said we would like a third child but right now the timing is all wrong. My youngest is still co sleeping as we don't have room for a bed for him. The plan is to try and get bunk beds. We live in a small 2 bed cottage which is already bursting at the seams.
My partner works away so there's a very good chance he could be at the other end of the country when I go into labour. He would also we away 4 days a week which isn't ideal for me coping with 3 children.
We are struggling with money as I'm a stay at home Mum so we just live on my partners wage. D could try and change his job but would probably result in a pay cut.
I only drive a small car and there's no way I can get 3 child seats in which is another issue.
My youngest is still like my baby and I feel like this would be replacing him. The plan was to wait until he is 3 and at Nursery before we tried for another one.
I suffered with pnd after both my children and I'm scared that I won't be able to cope with a third whilst my youngest is still quite dependant.
On the other side, I would love to have another baby. I loved being pregnant the first time round and every time I think about a termination I burst into tears.
My heart says it's not the right time. Every pregnancy test I've taken this time round, my heart has dropped when it's been positive.
I've no idea what to do next. My partner is 100% behind my decision either way but I know the further on I get the harder it's going to be.
Sorry for the rambling.