I'm coming up to what would have been my due date had my pregnancy earlier this year continued. It was a surprise pregnancy, surprisingly unwanted, and I would have almost certainly terminated it had I not started miscarrying on the day of my appointment.
This board has been a godsend to me on those awful dark days of having to decide what to do. I have since name changed for a number of reasons but my thread is still here. I wanted to come back to tell any of you who may be struggling with similar decisions that there is sadness, there are what ifs, but no regrets. I don't want to think of it as right vs wrong decision but it was certainly not wrong , and I haven't lived in shame ever since. In fact there are entire weeks I just don't think about it... And then flashes of intense sadness at random moments when I am filled with tenderness and longing for what could have been. But none of it is incapacitating... It's more a deep awareness of what I went through, and how hard and sometimes cruel life is. I have forgiven myself and feel complete.
We are women, mothers, lovers. We care for ourselves and others in many, sometimes heartbreaking ways. Hugs to anyone who is struggling right now - be kind to yourself. You will get through this, you will still be you.