Am I insane...?

[legallyblond]

I have been invited to a wedding - two of our (mine and DH's) very best friends from uni are getting married.

The trouble is, the wedding is one week before my due date... and its in Cornwall (I live in London).

I am planning on rsvp-ing with a yes, but playing by ear nearer the time.

I am, to be honest, not that concerned if I am still pregnant by then. I would take my notes and hopsital bag. My parents live in Exeter, Devon, which is about an hour's drive from the wedding and which has a great hospital. I think I would be happy to have the baby there in an emergency. As its my first, I am likely to get at least an hour's warning that the baby is on its way, right?!

If I am still pregnant, slightly worried about having nothing to wear though..! I think that I may have outgrown all my "nice" maternity clothes by then, but I guess I'll manage!

BUT, I suspect the baby may arrive at about 2 weeks early... All the women in my family have had their babies early (between 3 weeks and a few days) and I just have this feeling...

How unrealistic would it be to go with a newborn of, say, a few days old? I coudn't, could I? I will be bleeding and I guess still feeling rough and won't know what I'm doing re breastfeeding etc. What do you think?

Oh well - I guess I'll just see what happens!

This is very personal to you.

Personally I'd happily go the week before my due date (indeed, did exactly that last time round) but no way on earth would I do it with very new baby. Not to say you wouldn't be fine though.

If all else fails, the RDE is excellent!

Think playing by ear excellent idea

Play it by ear!

We have a wedding of very good friends to go to a week and a half after my due date, and I am planning to go.

But - it is just up the road! I can easily walk home if I feel so inclined at any point.

I'm not a wide-eyed novice, I do already have a DS so have an idea of how I will be feeling after the birth. I am on the hunt for nice nursing dresses, but the selection is slim!!

Lol, probably best to just see how you get on. I would just let my friends know that you'll need to see how you (maybe baby too) are at the time and ask if they're ok with that. Not sure if they'd be paying for a meal for you/dp at the reception? If they are they may want to cancel this, just a thought as it may cost them some if you dcan't make it?

If you have a straight forward birth before the wedding you may be fine to go. You may still be pregnant. Hard to say because it could go any way and you just don't know yet how you'll be feeling. Good luck!

Definitely play by ear

If your friends are true friends they will understand if you suddenly can't come because you've just had the baby or are huge and uncomfortable and can't travel.

Myself, I couldn't have sat in a car for that long at that stage of pregnancy but I was still being sick at 39 weeks and had a knackered back. If you're fit enough to travel then I'd say go for it.

Travelling with a newborn is probably easier than travelling with an older baby, you would only have to stop periodically for feeds, but a lot will depend on how quickly you recover from the birth.

Good luck with your pregancy and I hope you make it to the wedding

I am not sure I agree - because we had guests at our wedding who decided to pull out the night before the wedding due to the girl being pregnant - given they had known for a few months she was pregnant I couldnt really understand why they told us so late when I was stuck with the £160 bill for their wasted meals...it was quite irritating - a wedding isnt a BBQ.

sorry I'm being ranty guess it still urks me!

My friend's wedding is 2 days before my due date.

I've discussed with her that there's a chance I may not be able to come at the last minute for various reasons, and she has said to play it by ear - she'd rather there's a chance I could still go than for me to rule it out completely.

Why don't you talk to your friend and see what s/he says?:

Forgot to say - I was going to be doing a reading but we've agreed that she's going to ask someone else now!

yes, I'd definately say talk to your friend who's getting married about your situation and how you may not be reliable to attend. Women can get quite stressed before weddings, and she may not be too happy with you if you suddenly change your mind and she is left with a bill for your meal (not to mention possibly ages on the seating plan which you then might mess up). If she was aware and happy that you might not make it, then I'd say go with it. I'm only making a point from the brides point of view as we had someone not come to the wedding due to long term illness (they thought they could make it, then they couldn't). Because they gave us a weeks notice we were able to get someone in to 'fill' their place so at least we didn't waste lots of money on someone who didn't turn up.

Play by ear but reckon you would be fine with a new baby, especially with your parents so close to the wedding. New borns sleep a lot and although you could still be bleeding that's not a reason not to go. You would just have to be conscious of the noise your baby made and take them out if you need to rather then disturb the wedding. I went to one recently and there was a couple there with their new born, who was as good as gold and obviously got lots of cuddles! I would try and give as much notice as possible though if you plan not to go.

I was certainly planning on saying to them that I may not make it and would they prefer if I say no now.

I am encouraged that quite a few of you think I will be ok with this so soon after the possible birth (provided its not a emergency cs or something I guess). I had visions of being housebound for weeks struggling with cracked nipples, not being able to breastfeed and heavy bleeding! I guess people like to promote horror stries...!