I have forgotten what to doooooo!

[colditz]

I have forgotten how to look after a new born baby! I have a ginormous 2.5 yo boy, who I can talk to, and reason with (a bit).

How on earth am I going to cope with a little screamy thing again? And I'll have a 3 year old too?

Please, please tell me it's all ok with the second. I am so scared that ds will hate the baby, as I detested my brother (I was 5 when he was born).

It'll be fine...eventually. Make sure your ds feels included. Talk to him about the baby starting now, look through books and things with him, take him to antenatal appts if it's convenient. When baby comes get him to 'help' you - passing things to you when you're changing, feeding and stuff. If he doesn't feel excluded, he'll be less likely to feel resentful.

First six months with 2 = hell, a logistical nightmare. After that it's fab.

I agree it's hard going at first. The trick is to NEVER sit down. Never look at a job and think 'I'll do it later' because there is no 'later'. There's always something to do. OMG that sounds grim but I don't mean it to.

Don't worry colditz. It'll all come flooding back.

You have to really try to let the toddler hold the baby (or let him think he;s holding the baby) and get him involved as much as poss.

There's bound to be a bit of jealousy but 2.5 is a lovely gap and he'll soon have a sibling who looks up to and adores him.

Luckily you'll be head over heels in love with the 'little screamy thing' (clever old mother nature eh?) and I find this really helps with the workload.

Also, BF hormones put that spring in your step.

Colditz - I felt the same, but it all came "flooding back" (only to discover he was the complete opposite of his brother LOL).

There's 3yrs and 3 months between DS1 and DS2 and they get on REALLY well, DS1 LOVES his little brother and has been great with him right from the outset.

3yrs is a great age for them to enjoy 'getting involved' (carrying the nappies for you, brining stuff for you etc etc) and as for jealousy....

The only real jealousy in this house comes from DS2 who gets jealous of his older brother

hiya colditz!! have same worry as you about how ds2 will take to baby. he's 2 and baby due anytime now. have talked to him
about baby as much as i can, and he touches my belly and says baby alot. He also kisses my belly.
ds1 was 5 when ds2 came along and although he understood uch better, he also felt and still feels left out alot as he had me to himself for so long. i hope he doesn't feel pushed out even more.

QueenOfQuotes -- i've found that ds2 is also very jealous of any time i give ds1!

Hi Colditz, there's a 4 year age gap between my 2 DS's, and luckily I haven't had any jealousy issues, but given the fact that DS2 is only 12 weeks old I'm sure that theres plenty time for something to arise! I basically have done what the others on here have mentioned and DS1 loves his little brother to bits

As for coping with a 'little screamy thing' (love the choice of words btw) everything will come flooding back - and there's nothing to say that it WILL be screamy - you may be lucky and have a baby who only cries when s/he wants something!

PS I totally agree with what spidermama says - there is never 'later'

oh yes good point about the 'screamy' bit - DS1 screamed for the first 4 months of his life (unless he was on the breast or asleep in my arms).

DS2 slept for the first 2 days of his life and was an absolute angel as a baby.........

However now he's 20 months we're seeing the 'other' side of it - DS1 was a mouse compared to DS2 at the same age

Colditz, second one is LOADS easier, I promise. My ds was 6 when dd was born and I hadn't forgotten, you'll be fine.

Colditz, honey, it WILL be OK. CAT me and I'll send you loads of reassuring articles including an incredibly sentimental one about the day my daughters met - which is true.

colditz i can completely empathise.MYy ds will be 2 in oct and baby is due in dec...I am petrified about the whole thing, particualary as ds is going through a misbehaving stage at the minute...also reading that book 3 socks, 2shoes and no hairbrush at the min which all seems to be a bit doom and gloom but at sametime maybe laying down some foundations for how things may be..lol

You will remember it all the minuet the baby is born but be aware of one thing... take care when picking the baby up. You will be used to a big boy and it is very likely you will nearly throw the baby over the shoulder because it will be unexpectedly lighter than a 3 yo!

That is not a joke. That comes from experience!

Yes, been having the same thoughts, baby 2 due in Dec and dd will be 3.5. I had actually thought about the difference in weight and remembering to be more careful with the newborn than an independent 3yr old

Awww - All I can say (in the same situation, so not actually had the experience yet ) is that it took about 6 months to get into the swing of being a mum of one. It was all learning.

This time, more learning - to be a mum of two. You will have some knowledge of newborn, but that will be countered out by the lack of knowledge of two kids. Don't expect anything to settle until AT LEAST 6 months.

As for sibling love/hate... I think 3 is an easier age to adjust than 5

Ah Colditz - I was wondering what happened to you after your other thread 'How faint is a faint line' stopped. I have my answer now!